chatblanc1

I've been away from this blog for quite a long time (see how awesome I am at stating the obvious?). I'm not sure when or if I'll return. BUT , you can find me over at my Tumblr: white cat with a twist of lime . It's not all humor all the time, but it is me in the raw on a daily basis. I also have a Zazzle store: Chat Blanc Designs with creations that come straight from my warped mind and imagination. And finally, if you don't care to follow my tumblr you can view the photos I take over... Read Full Story

HOLY SHIT!! I found it! I found my blog! Sheesh, I haven’t been around in so long I figured it would be totally strung out from non-stop partying, covered in cartoon character tattoos, and contemplating a move to Europe where it would live under the assumed name, Pepe (yes, as in “Le Pew”).   I can’t even begin to detail my wildly BORING tales of why I haven’t had time to blog. No really, I can’t, cuz I’m totally slacking off this very moment by not doing the 100 millionth hour of class work... Read Full Story

Have I mentioned that I’m feeling sorry for myself? And that right now I’m slacking off, writing this post when I should be finishing the class assignment from the special pain-in-my-ass portion of hell? Ho-lee crap-olee I’m sick of myself. All this whining and complaining. You have NO idea. I simply WON’T shut up even though I violently pantomime to myself to plug my pie-hole. It’s so irritating. Wait, there I go again with the bitching. ugh. I tried to tell myself things could be A LOT... Read Full Story

I’m adding a new superhero persona to my unstable stable of multiple personalities. I think she’ll fit in nicely. Or beat the crap outta some of the others. Whichever.   Special thanks to Redhead Ranting for leading to me to the superhero factory . Cuz I needed one more time wasting activity to fill the void when I ignore actual important stuff in my life. I’m great with priorities like that. check me out on HumorBloggers      rate posts at Humor-Blogs or Blogerella Read Full Story

Asparagus, what the hell is wrong with you?? Oh, don’t play coy with me, you know damn well what I’m talking about! That seductive come-on. . .   You know I can’t resist you when you’re all hot and slathered in oil, or wrapped in luscious bacon (or pancetta, if you must). But then, there’s the. . . Eau de “my pee smells like organic ass”!! What kind of horrible chemical/biological/organical (I’m totally claiming that as a new word now) reaction causes something like that?? Ugh. Asparagus, you... Read Full Story

Look out people! I’m on my high horse. Which, by the way, sounds like a much better place to be than on my low horse. I mean, what exactly would I be doing on my low horse anyway?? Here’s the deal—I called one of my professors a dipshit. Not to her face (but possibly only because my classes are online). But I did say it out loud, to myself, and it did feel pretty good. My beef with this professor is that she assigns PLENTY of reading, and by plenty I mean way more than I can finish in several... Read Full Story

I’m sure you all know by now that it’s Women’s History Month. And I KNOW you’re all celebrating, cuz let’s face it, there are two types of people in the world--women and those who worship the ground women walk on. I don’t want to put too fine a point on it but. . . Yes we have come a long way, and thank frickin’ gawd, baby!! Personally I’m grateful for. . . the right to use up all my hard earned credit on boob jobs, botox, and Louboutins if I want the opportunity to work outside... Read Full Story

Did ya get the memo? March 7th is Humorists are Artists Day! That’s right, as a proud member of HumorBloggers.com I’m claiming my place in the universe as an artiste! And if you don’t like it, you can kiss my fluffy white ass. I’m serious. I typically wouldn’t go out on a limb and use words like humorist and artist to describe my demented attempts to be snicker and snort worthy but I figure if Gandhi and Eleanor Roosevelt can be funny, then I’m sure as hell at least half a hoot (I think... Read Full Story

I neglected blogland this week and undoubtedly the internetz got a bad case of blue balls anticipating my return, BUT I have BIG news! My personal three ring circus, aka my life, is leaving town in a couple of months! Allow me to expand on the big fucking deal announcement. . . Since I’m not currently employed to prostitute my mind or body (legally or otherwise), nor obligated (legally or otherwise) to anyone or any particular profiteering organization, mental institution, or bastion of... Read Full Story

Because Barbie, that ignorant slut, was a part of my last post I figured I’d give Ken a bit of exposure too. Well, it’s actually more than just a little exposure. I have to admit, this is actually how I picture a lot of men I encounter—as dickless wonders with absolutely no balls. On a related topic, I’m thinking of starting a “Spay and Neuter Idiot Humans” campaign. I think it’s a worthy cause.   source: ask-art.net check me out on Humor Bloggers   rate posts at Humor-Blogs or... Read Full Story