I have a dry-erase board in my office.  At the beginning of every week, I put up a quote and around December of 2008 I put up my new year's resolutions for 2009.  One of the resolutions that went up on my board last year was to become "cold and unfeeling."  The events in my life at the time were causing me great disappointment and heart ache and it felt as though closing my door and crying were normal occurrences.  So, I figured if I became "cold an... Read Full Story

the kind of day where you're disappointed more than once? The kind of day where you just shut your office door and cried? The kind of day when you excused yourself from a phone conversation because you were crying so hard you couldn't talk or breathe? I have and I am glad that this day is over. Read Full Story

So I have been told that I have high expectations.  I don't disagree because I do - it's a character trait of mine.  I expect a lot of others and expect more from myself and I doubt that even the most disappointing outcomes will ever change that.  Which leads me to believe that I will always be heartbroken and I will always be disappointed.  I'm still trying to figure out if this can be considered a good thing. I say this because... Read Full Story

So I am sitting in the accident site off the Kennedy expressway. I've been here for about an hour waiting for the police to come and write up an accident report. You see, I've been rear-ended. I'm fine although my back and neck are a little sore. And, the woman that hit me is yacking and yacking her head off and won't SHUT UP! God, lady just SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP already!!! To make matters worse, I'm late for another appointment. Read Full Story

The funny thing about having an on line blog is that you don't always write about everything going on in your life.  But, because it IS on line and people read it, those who do read it form a certain opinion about what is going on in your life.  No Mary Anne, I'm not referring to you when I say this.  And, I'm not referring to others who have on line blogs because I think that they understand that what they write about is probably equivalent... Read Full Story

I have no idea why I'm so annoyed.  It could be because I'm tired or because my brain is fried or because I feel so ridiculously fat.  It could be because I'm cleaning out e-mail and reading old stuff I really should not be reading.  It could very well be because I'm falling into a slump where I'm living my life backwards. Okay, maybe I'm not living my life backwards, but I've spent the past hour looking back and what I'm... Read Full Story

The days seem to pass by so quickly, but yet I feel like I'm moving at a snail's pace.  There are so many things to do at home and at work but no matter how quickly I try to move, it's as though nothing ever gets accomplished.  I would love to break out of this vicious cycle - I just don't know how. Read Full Story

Way back in May, I wrote this entry in which I referred to this other entry where I felt invisible.  And, yesterday - guess what - I felt invisible.  It's a common occurrence and I'm thinking that it isn't so much a case of feeling invisible but that I am feeling a little lonely.  Yeah, I said it.  How could that possibly be that I feel lonely in a FULL house? I mean I live in a house with 3 cats, 1 husband, 2 toddler boys,... Read Full Story

I'm on a roll with the complaining and the whining and so why should I stop?  Last night I was moping around the house because the boys went to see David's parents and hang out at the petting zoo.  You may wonder why I wasn't there and I will have to remind you all that I have terrible allergies and am fighting bronchitis.  A visit to the petting zoo would have me curled into a fetal position on the car ride home sneezing and wheezing for de... Read Full Story

It always seems that this time of year I get into a "thinking" mood.  Maybe it's because of the weather - the winds pick up and it gets cold - or maybe it's because of the season - it's darker sooner.  For whatever reason, my mind goes into overdrive.  In my head my thoughts turn over and over and over.  And, there are things that I think that I can't say or don't want to talk about. Little nuggets of thoughts a... Read Full Story