So Many It Hurts

I have secretes, deep dark, light, joyful secretes. I can not tell if there manic impulses or if there true feelings, that's the curse are my feeling real, honest, and mine, are my thoughts real, honest, and mine. Really its very hard to say,and no one can help me. They are so extraordinary, that I dare not share them. I will share them with you my friends, but I have to say I am so scared that I don't want to ever say but I'm dying to say. Of course you'll respect the fact that I cant trust myself to make choice, because ultimately I never know if its coming from a sound mind or not. No, my friend I have secretes the kind that excite me, make me feel alive. I will tell you, I will tell you all just give me time to gain the courage to talk, its taken alot already you know; to be most honest.

A Hint, your hint