| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Not yet published.
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Filed under: Idiots Jokes Tagged: comedy fun humour , Idiots Jokes Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Published to Mad cow disease
Two bulls were chatting over the fence between their fields. First bull said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is pretty scary stuff. Someone said it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.” The other bull replies, “I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us bulls.”
Filed under: Mad Cow Disease Worries Tagged: comedy fun humour Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Not yet published.
1. You wake up at 4 O’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and
stop to check your email on the way back to bed.
2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if
you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just
for the free internet access.
4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.
5. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
6. You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a... Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
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LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin’ the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin’ home in the winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain’t in the winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it’s cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it’s... Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Published to Guy Fawkes Day
* How many safety inspectors does it take to light the bonfire?
4. One to light the match and three to hold the fire extinguisher
* How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes?
23. One to strike the match and twenty two to fill in the paper work.
* How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
3. One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
* How many aerospace engineers does it take to light the kindling... Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Not yet published.
O God, Beneath Thy Guiding Hand
Come, Ye Thankful People, Come
Count Your Blessings
Creation’s Lord, We Give Thee Thanks
Faith Of Our Fathers
For The Beauty Of The Earth
Give Thanks To God The Lord
Guide Me, O Thou Great Lord
I’m A Pilgrim
Lone Pilgrim
Now Yield We Thanks And Praise
O Lord, Our Father, Thanks To Thee
Ten Thousand Thanks To Jesus
Thanks To God
Lord Jesus, We Give Thanks To Thee
To Thee, O God, We Render Thanks
Now Thank We All Our God
We... Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Not yet published.
The year has turned its circle,
The seasons come and go.
The harvest all is gathered in
And chilly north winds blow.
Orchards have shared their treasures,
The fields, their yellow grain,
So open wide the doorway -
Thanksgiving comes again!
Filed under: Thanksgiving Poetry Tagged: comedy fun humour Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Not yet published.
A forgetful husband came to a butcher’s shop on Thanksgiving Day, almost at the closing time to look for a turkey. The butcher showed him the only scrawny turkey he had.
The man said, “This is too skinny. Do you have a fatter one?”
Thinking himself to be vary smart, butcher took the turkey back and went to the freezer and brought it back after a few minutes.
The man looked at the turkey for a long minute and then said thinking, “They are too thin. One won’t do. Why don’t you give me... Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Not yet published.
If April showers bring May flowers
, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners!
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G!
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!
What key has legs and can’t open doors?
A turkey!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What did the Turkey say before it was... Read Full Story
| From : craftielinda.wordpress.com
Not yet published.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What’s a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Because he was in need of a light snack.
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Boo boos.
Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin
Filed under: Halloween Funnies Tagged: comedy fun humour Read Full Story

