Blogger Charge Card!

Originally, I posted an entry on Sporting News for a SN User Blog Card. But I wanted to revise it to fit the theme for this blog. Enjoy, and this isn't to be taken seriously.

David Funk
12345 Troll Alert Avenue
High Point, NC

Dear David Funk,

You have earned this pre-approved offer for a user blog card from our staff here at Blogger. There is no annual fee and you have a 0% ABR(Annual Blog Rate) on any entry transfers from other sites. Just give us a call at 1-800-BLOGGER or complete this form below to request your free user blog card today!

Blog Entry Line up to 200 entries and No Annual Fee

You can use your blog card to entertain and "purchase" friends on your Blog Roll list at any place in association and/or affiliation with Google. Plus, you get to pick the topics that you want to talk about.

Take advantage of this great offer with 0% ABR right now by transferring your higher-rated blog entries and list of Blog Roll friends to your brand new Blogger Charge Card today to avoid future fees. In addition to being a platinum Blogger member, you will get automatic blog entry reviews from the Google Staff as well as money-saving discounts, and access to your overall page ranking.

*0% ABR applies to blog entry transfers now. Please see reverse side for information about this pre-approved offer, rates, and applicable blog entry transfer fees.

Reverse Side

Pre-approved means that you received this offer because a preliminary review of your blogging history from the Google staff showed that you met our requirements for a Blogger Charge Card. The issuer of your Blogger Charge Card will review your blogging history, friendships, Blog Roll Lists, who you're following, followers, and all other information that you provide to ensure that you meet all of our requirements when you respond to the offer. If you meet these requirements, you will receive a SN User Blog card with an entry limit of 500, but no less than 200, and the rates below. Your entry line will be determined by your blog history profile at the time we open your account. If you do not meet these requirements, we may not extend the entry limit for you.

ABR: 0% Fixed
Other ABRs:
Blog Entry Transfer ABR: 0% through the first
Cash Advance ABR: 0% for the first six months
Default ABR*: Up to the Prime Blog Rate or reply percentage, whichever is greater.
Your ABRs may vary
Purchase ABR: 0% for six months(16.99 thereafter) or the Prime Blog Rate whichever is greater.
Balance Transfer ABR: 0% for six months(16.99 thereafter) or the Prime Blog Rate whichever is greater.
Grace period for all purchases: At least 30 days if the New Balance on the card is paid in full by the due date.
Minimum finance charge: 0.5%
Cash advance fee: 1% of the advance
Entry Balance Transfer fee: 1% of the entry balance transfer
Late fee: $5 if balance is less than $100; $10 if balance is greater than $100
Entry over limit fee; $50 if you exceed your entry limit at any time during the billing period.

Earn cash and more entries to use when you receive the maximum replies to your user blog(s) or communication chat boxes. Credit will be issued for those who qualify at the conclusion of the pay period. Earn up to 10% back on replies to your blog.

We may change the ABRs, fees, and other terms of your account at any time in accordance with applicable and state law and the Account Agreement, which will be sent to you when the account is opened.

*Each time you default on this or any other Google account because you fail to make at least the minimum payment when due, exceed your blog entry limit, make a dishonorable payment on your account, or you are reported as delinquent on an account with any other blog creditor, we may raise the ABR to the maximum Default ABR.
Cash line: 25% of your total blog entry line that you earn on can be used for cash.
Additional payment information: Payments will be applied first to finance charges and fees, then to the Blog Entry Balance Category with the lowest ABR until the Blog Entry Balance is paid, then it will go to the Blog Entry Balance Category with the next lowest ABR until the BEBC is paid in full.

By submitting your application, you acknowledge and agree that:
1. You are at least 18 years old.
2. All information you provide is accurate and complete.
3. Your account will be used only for professional blogging and not for any household purposes.
4. We may check your blog history and any information you provide.
5. We reserve the right to change the terms of your account.
6. We obtained a pre-qualifying blog history report from an American City Business Journals agency.
7. We may request blog history reports in connection with this application and to review your account.
Upon request, we will tell you if we obtained blog history reports and the name and address of the agency that provided those reports. We may report information about your account(including any second blog cardholder's name) to blog history bureaus. Blog replies, missed payments, exceeding the blog entry limit, or other defaults may be reflected in your blog history report. When you use the card, you agree to be bound by the Account Agreement. This account may not be available to you if you already have a Blogger Charge Card with us or have applied within the last 90 days. This offer is not transferable.

Important information about procedures for opening a new account: To help the government fight the funding of the trolls, thumb-downers, anonymous abusers, and pests, federal law requires that all financial institutions obtain, verify, and record information that identifies each person who opens an account. What this means for you: When you open an account, we will ask for your name, address, date of birth, Google ID, and other information that will allow us to identify you.

If you do not want future blog card offers mailed to you from Google, you may inform them in writing by sending your name and address to Google Headquarters. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for this request to take place.

So call us at 1-800-BLOGGER or you can fill out this application:
Name:
Address:
Home Phone:
Do you have a blog account? Y or N?
Employment:
Please send a second card for this account at no extra charge to:

___________________________________
Signature

This form is non-transferable and must be signed by the person to whom it is addressed. I certify that I am at least 18 years old, and have read the terms and conditions on the front and back of the letter.

Offer expires on July 31, 2009 and will not be offered to you again.

Blog Entry Transfer Request:
1. Account Number
Name of Blog Entry Lender
Amount to be Paid and Transferred
So return your Pre-Approved Reply Form Today! Operators are standing by!

Blogger Charge Card

The End

I'm strongly considering this great offer, and I think I'll sign it. I have to find out how much my entry limit will be. Would you do one of the following:

1. Sign for a new card?
2. Not bother applying because you will not qualify for a card?
3. Or tell a friend in the community about this amazing offer?

I hope you enjoyed this, and that I get approved to use my card! For those who already received the card, pay attention to your entry limit! LOL!