A recent appearance on How I met Your Mother revealed a decidedly slimmer Britney Spears. She looked so much like the innocent little school girl of yesteryear that it almost made us forget she’s a raging, unstable lunatic. Almost. The new issue of OK magazine is running a cover story detailing the secrets behind her miraculous drop of 15 pounds in 4 weeks. But we have our own theories. Like hanging around Sam Lufti. A few days of Lebanese cuisine and you’d be dropping weight like an HIV... Read Full Story

What should have been the funniest train wreck of the season was actually not bad. The contestants were forced to choose from the repertoire of unlikely mentor Dolly Parton which should have made for some extremely uncomfortable moments, like David Archuletta singing Parton’s 1980 smash hit 9 to 5. But alas, they all did pretty well. However it was funny for other reasons. Ramiele Malubay continues to be incredibly short. Despite being only 5′ tall, Dolly was tall enough that Ramiele could... Read Full Story

What might first appear to be a horrible accident following a binge on jalapeño nachos is actually just Gisele Bundchen sporting The Best Shorts Ever Created during a photo shoot. While we’ve always considered Gisele a mild victim of butta-face, there’s no denying that her ass ranks highly on the scale of ass. If there was such a thing. By building in a revolutionary ass ventilation system, we give kudos to the designer of these shorts for realizing that functionality is just as important as... Read Full Story

Donatella Versace looks like Angelina Jolie after 20 years in a Queens housing project and getting beaten in the face with a sock full of quarters. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Comment on this story | Read Comments Related Stories Duke’s Daily Doubles Gallery . Read Full Story

April Fools, again. Every time I hear Shadow Of The Day by Stinkin Park, a blatant rip-off of With Or Without You by U2, I want to violently and swiftly rip the ears from my head and shove pencils in the bloody holes. After years of abusing alternative rock radio with their whiny brand of formulaic pseudo-rap-metal, they decided to venture into new melodic territory with Shadow Of The Day. Unfortunately for them, U2 preceded them by 20 years and already wrote the song. Except they did it... Read Full Story

Bird Face Charlie Sheen was spotted strangling a puppy in a Santa Monica park on Monday while an 8-year-old girl watched in horror nearby, crying hysterically. April Fools. However, Bird Face does continue his tradition of douche baggery with his latest plea to the public to boycott ex-wife Denise Richard’s reality show. He’s continually campaigning to bury Richards in the media as a bad mother. Meanwhile, he’s out giving cleveland steamers to Ashley Dupre and publicly dating porn stars... Read Full Story

Demi Moore reportedly keeps her grandmotherly skin looking youthful and vibrant by subscribing to leech therapy, a process in which blood-sucking leeches are placed on her skin to suck the toxins out of her blood. After a tireless search for evidence, it’s confirmed! This amazing photo reveals Demi Moore receiving leech therapy. The leech is seen here sucking, just like he did in The Guardian. The head apparatus would suggest he tore himself away from sucking long enough to watch a Rock Of... Read Full Story

After his recent DUI arrest, Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora has more in common with Mickey Rourke than just a pasty, lumpy sourpuss mug riddled with ugly as the result of plastic surgery. Rourke was busted in 2007 in Miami for driving under the influence, while navigating a Vespa. His charges should have included being a grown man riding around on a gay European scooter. At least Sambora was popped in a Hummer. Sambora continues his spree of bad judgment which kicked off a few years... Read Full Story

We’ve seen plenty of pictures of George’s woman Sarah Larson, but usually she’s hobbling around on crutches or fully clothed, neither of which is very hot. Our first glimpses of Sarah followed an unfortunate motorcycle accident last year in which Clooney attempted to circumvent traffic laws and pass a Mazda making a right turn. Sarah came away with a broken foot, probably for planting it firmly in Clooney’s ass for driving like an asshole. Before servicing movie stars, Sarah’s previous... Read Full Story

Neighbors near Christina Aguilera’s Beverly Hills mansion are complaining that the Dirty girl and her husband are disturbing the peace with their rambunctious naked frolicking in the swimming pool. The couple, who welcomed Son Max in January, recently purchased the mansion which once belonged to bat decapitator Ozzie Osbourne and his wacky family. As Christina explained to Star magazine “On Sundays we just do everything in the house, and we’re just cosy and laid back. We don’t need... Read Full Story