Smile big Miss Universe!
I just saw this photograph of the new Miss Universe and couldn't help but crack a smile. She is undoubtedly a gorgeous woman and props to Venezuela, but on another note I don't think they could have snapped a less attractive photo of her. This photo makes her look like she's just had a lobotomy. Read Full Story
Death.
I went to a barbeque on a friend's houseboat on Saturday. It was a beautiful day. I saw a friend at the barbeque who had recently been going through a tough time but looked like he was improving. We had a beer as we chatted a bit about his upcoming DJing gigs, and how much I liked that he was wearing a purple shirt. I told him I thought more guys should wear pastels. I told him that if I were a guy I would dress exactly like him. His face lit up for a moment and in the most genuine tone asked... Read Full Story
Just when I thought life couldn't get any weirder...
I was getting my nails painted pink at my favorite nail salon a bit ago when an older man came walking in. He began describing the awful oozing blisters and calices that were irritating his feet, and could they please do something about it since he didn't have time to call his podiatrist. One of the women politely replied, "I don't think we treat blisters." Although he seemed to be the sweetest old man, he refused to let it end there. "Well," he replied. "Do you mind if I show you? I'm just... Read Full Story
A blast from the clucking past
Once upon a time I played a dancing singing genetically enhanced chicken at Seattle's Childrens Theatre. A friend of mine sent me this photo of the show. Read Full Story
I got a gig!
Yesterday I went to the tailor to pick up some pants that I had hemmed by a lovely woman who's first language is Korean. In case you haven't noticed, mine is English. With our communication powers combined, we achieved a really funny looking pair of pants. Read Full Story
Oh no! George Carlin?
I was sad to hear that George Carlin passed away from a heart attack on Sunday. He was one of those rare people in the world that just said things like they are, and made you pee your pants laughing at the same time. He was a huge inspiration to me as a comedian, and I will really miss watching his stand up shows. Read Full Story
Halle-frickin-lujah!
This weather has been nothing short of depressing. I've been cold, pale, and hiding under my covers for the last two weeks. Hallelujah for today's sunshine! I feel so good in fact that I've decided it's time for an official update on the crisis. Read Full Story
The coldest June in 100 years
I am so cold. It's so grey. This weather sucks. In case you haven't heard, this is Seattle's coldest June in a decade. We waited all year patiently like good little Seattleites for our 2 months of sunshine, and now it's being cut short! Just two months is all we ask! Read Full Story
At the end of the day...
This weekend was a bad weekend. I don't really feel like going into specifics because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. What does matter, is this little piece of advice a buddy gave me: Read Full Story
My 5 Day Master Cleanse Diet
I recently attempted the 5 Day Master Cleanse diet. Below is a documentation of my dieting experience. Read Full Story