frandorf

Ducky Are you walking around with your head in your armpit…ahem…your wing?  Do you wear chronic rose colored glasses? Automatically give people the benefit of the doubt?  Dismiss your gut reaction in favor of your head’s reaction?  Make excuses?  Assume that everyone else thinks like you do? Here’s something I first realized a long time ago: If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably IS a duck. In other words, trust your instincts, your eyes, your gut. I first... Read Full Story

The practice of gratefulness may be the most productive habit you can develop. Martin Seligman, the positive psychology guru, recommends that you write down at least three things you’re grateful for every day. For an old cynic like me, that’s a lot of gratitude, but I force myself to do it anyway. Air, family, and pedicures are good places to start. Today, Sunday, January 29, I am grateful for: 1. My amazing grandchild, Maya Rose, who makes me laugh with glee! 2. Zumba (although I wish the... Read Full Story

The practice of gratefulness may be the most productive habit you can develop. Martin Seligman, the positive psychology guru, recommends that you write down at least three things you’re grateful for every day. For an old cynic like me, that’s a lot of gratitude, but I force myself to do it anyway. Air, family, and pedicures are good places to start. Today, Sunday, January 29, I am grateful for: 1. My amazing grandchild, Maya Rose, who makes me laugh with glee! 2. Zumba (although I wish the... Read Full Story

Basic psychology I learned with some rats:  Behavior that is reinforced will increase. IE: Behavior  +  Reinforcement = More of the Same IE: 1 + 1 = 2 If you allow someone to take advantage of you, to continually violate reasonable boundaries, that behavior will only continue and probably increase. If you enable bad behavior, that behavior will only continue or increase. If you continually rescue someone, that person will continually behave in ways that require you to rescue her... Read Full Story

Basic psychology I learned with some rats:  Behavior that is reinforced will increase. IE: Behavior  +  Reinforcement = More of the Same IE: 1 + 1 = 2 If you allow someone to take advantage of you, to continually violate reasonable boundaries, that behavior will only continue and probably increase. If you enable bad behavior, that behavior will only continue or increase. If you continually rescue someone, that person will continually behave in ways that require you to rescue her... Read Full Story

Basic psychology I learned with some rats:  Behavior that is reinforced will increase. IE: Behavior  +  Reinforcement = More of the Same IE: 1 + 1 = 2 If you allow someone to take advantage of you, to continually violate reasonable boundaries, that behavior will only continue and probably increase. If you enable bad behavior, that behavior will only continue or increase. If you continually rescue someone, that person will continually behave in ways that require you to rescue her... Read Full Story

Reposted by  Fran Dorf — from The Daily Muse , November 23, 2011 —  1 Comment Dear Fran, As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself once again stressed and sick at the thought of traveling home. I’m kind of the black sheep of my family, and don’t feel like I fit in anymore, if I ever did. The biggest issue is my brother, who’s ten years older than I, and his wife, who hs a knee jerk opinion about everything, from politics to how children should be raised.  Plus, their 13-year-old... Read Full Story

Reposted by  Fran Dorf — from The Daily Muse , November 23, 2011 —  1 Comment Dear Fran, As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself once again stressed and sick at the thought of traveling home. I’m kind of the black sheep of my family, and don’t feel like I fit in anymore, if I ever did. The biggest issue is my brother, who’s ten years older than I, and his wife, who hs a knee jerk opinion about everything, from politics to how children should be raised.  Plus, their 13-year-old... Read Full Story

Reposted by  Fran Dorf — from The Daily Muse , November 23, 2011 —  1 Comment Dear Fran, As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself once again stressed and sick at the thought of traveling home. I’m kind of the black sheep of my family, and don’t feel like I fit in anymore, if I ever did. The biggest issue is my brother, who’s ten years older than I, and his wife, who hs a knee jerk opinion about everything, from politics to how children should be raised.  Plus, their 13-year-old... Read Full Story

Help! How Do I Help a Friend with Cancer? Dear Fran, A close friend of mine was  diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago. She’s had surgery and will be undergoing radiation and chemotherapy. The doctors say her prognosis looks good, but she has had to drop out of her grad school program for the semester. We were all absolutely devastated when we heard the news, and it’s been the most difficult thing I could imagine for her and her family. She has been inconsolably... Read Full Story