The North Koreans, unaware of the upcoming 4th of July celebrations in the U.S. blew an opportunity to launch a missile at Hawaii in what would have been a "surprise" for Honolulu and outlying areas.Instead, the North Koreans were seen scrambling to assemble a bottle rocket to launch into the compound of the U.S. Embassy in Pyongyang.According to an unidentified spokesperson for the North Koreans, the bottle rocket exploded in the hands of a Korean scientist as he was preparing it with nitro... Read Full Story

TeeBeeDee, a Social Network for people generally in their 40's and over, leads a nomadic existence. It is the only known Social Network capable of pulling up roots from one site and moving to another on two weeks notice."Sure we've lost hundreds of members," stated Scott Free, a TBD member. "But we'll gain new members.When asked about the loss of the old members, some of whom had been with the old location for a long period of time, Free suggested that if they were too lazy or dumb to make it... Read Full Story

LCMS-ELCA UpdateCommentary:Unknown to Rag Box officials, Lutherans in the Midwest have begun quoting from this online blog recently. Valerie Pinhead, who directs research on online blogging, is at a loss for words to explain the recent development."I suppose some sort of nerve was struck with the Lutherans with regard to some of the articles here at the Rag Box. If there are issues here with some of those posts then it should be noted that to quote them in any form, either by text or lin... Read Full Story

The NY Times, struggling these days as are many companies who are involved with print media when the rest of the planet has basically found out about the Internet, iPhones, and other means of advertising, is in the process of striking a deal with one Carlos Slim Helu, a Mexican billionaire who has offered to slip some cash to the struggling Times in return for using the paper to move thousands of kilos of whatever can be stuffed into a roll of the New York paper in what appears to be a hopef... Read Full Story

The announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of the government's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters.The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon'... Read Full Story

As first reported by the Rag Box in December of 2002, Mississippi now leads the nation in teen pregnancies. The milestone was reached in 2006, the last year statistics were kept by unscrupulous volunteer teen pregnancy counters who followed the youths around for months making certain that the alleged pregnancies were in fact true. "It's an honor to be from Mississippi and receive the title "The Preggers State." stated McKeishelle Quanza, head of the Teen Pregnancy Consortiu... Read Full Story

Booming Gaza Tourism Placed on HoldIf it's Gaza, it must be Tuesday. It's just a bad time to vacation in the Gaza strip. The service is lousy and getting a cup of coffee while running at full speed only to have your leg removed by a stray Israeli Negev machine gun round is probably not conducive to the type of rest you might have been looking for on your trip to the Middle East. If Gaza was even on your itinerary, you are the type of person who deserves and I.E.D. up your ass.Face it.... Read Full Story

The Israeli army is planning an invasion of the Gaza strip that will include chemical and biological treatments of the ground in the area to make the region uninhabitable to either Palestinians or Israelis. A new song has already been published to celebrate the latest outbreak of violence in the region. "This land's not your land, this land's not my land""This land's not fit for you or me."Interested parties will be able to download the updated version from iTu... Read Full Story

Penn State coach Joe Paterno will be coaching the 2009 season from a coffin which has been electronically wired to provide the octogenarian with the same information that was given to him during the 2008 Rose Bowl loss to USC. Penn State Alumni will decide when it's time the drop the lid, which according to some estimates, should have been sometime in the early 80's. Read Full Story

Interior of plane shortly before "skid-hopping" event. In what pilots refer to as "skid-hopping", yet another commercial U.S. airliner has failed to reach its destination by several thousand miles by coming to an untimely halt at the end of a runway.Continental flight 1404 en route to Houston, Texas was found in a ravine, 40 feet below the runway and nowhere near Houston, leaving passengers stranded, without luggage, and little first class service. The black box ... Read Full Story