The Rag Box finds that allegations about the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990 by TV semi-personality Glenn Beck are unsubstantiated, despite the fact a website has been set up in order to clarify the stories surrounding the alleged incident. While the Rag Box attempts to ensure that the content of this E-Zine is completely fictitious and satirical in content, we cannot deny that numerous questions have arisen from the story as it has made its way around the Internet, long a bastion for... Read Full Story
The seeming stalemate that is the Afghan War took another, miserable, turn yesterday when two 500 pound bombs were dropped on two fuel tankers absconded by the Taliban. Satellite images showed scores of what appeared to be Taliban fighters surrounding the truck as they were attempting to extricate it from mud, in which the two trucks had become ensnared.The attack on the trucks was partially carried out on the advice of a single individual near the scene who insisted that all of the individua... Read Full Story
The National Prisoners Consortium (NPC) of the United States unanimously adopted a resolution vowing that they will "bond" with Phillip Garrido, alleged kidnapper of of Jaycee Lee Dugard, who was abducted in 1991 and was recently reunited with her loved ones.Bob "Axe-Man" Bronston, spokesman for the NPC appeared in a brief press conference where he stated the the "word is out" in prisoner's parlance, indicating an agreement has tentatively been reached that when Garrido arrives in any prison... Read Full Story
With projections for an economic recovery still highly uncertain for 2009, Americans have discovered that the Emails they have been receiving from the relative of their deceased Nigerian uncle were in fact, legitimate. As a result, the once suspicioned Email scam turns out to have been completely lawful, creating immense wealth for hundreds of thousands of middle class citizens, some who faced mortgage defaults and bankruptcy until Sambala Magumbo, their previously unknown uncle from Nigeria,... Read Full Story
In an effort to ease tensions over Health Care Reform, the nation's doctors and the government joined forces today by creating a Denial of Service clause into a pending bill in Congress that would allow the government, doctors, nursing assistants, hospital admittance clerks, and janitorial staff to deny health care service to hospitalized individuals if, in their estimation, a patient is seen to be progressing towards recovery in a lackluster way. In other words, a patient would have roughly ... Read Full Story
Inflamed passions rose to new heights as debate over the Nation's Health Care Reform discussions erupted into gunfire in a Town Hall meeting at Our sisters of Perpetual Motion Catholic Elementary School in Latrobe, Pennsylvania.Proponents and antagonists for Health Care initially exchanged glances, then resorted to shouting and eventually erupted into all out violence with a hail of assault weapons rounds being sprayed around the auditorium. The number of dead and wounded could not be immedia... Read Full Story
In a stunning turn of events, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has relinquished her post to former president and periodic husband, Bill Clinton.Though declining to be specific, the Secretary of State articulated to reporters that her husband's recent success in negotiating the release of two journalists from a North Korean prison had little to do with her decision to hand over the post to her intermittent spouse.Speaking candidly, Clinton (Hillary) stated that her ability to get anything do... Read Full Story
With the blessing of the Colombian government, the United States took a large step in silencing Hugo Chavez by acquiring the rights to use three Colombian military bases to launch drones specifically targeted to fire missiles up the Venezuelan president's posterior. Chavez, who has a penchant for a specific re-fried bean has made himself an easy mark for the drones whose sensors are equipped to "sniff out" the specific chemical signature given off by the "frijoles refritos " favored by the le... Read Full Story
Under increasing pressure from citizens, the U.S. government has decided to abandon all social programs under what it sees as a growing need to revitalize Capitalism."We plan to abandon Social Security by early next year as a first step towards a return to true Capitalism," according to Paul Lambowitz, and administration official who laid out the government's plan for Rag Box officials, under conditions of anonymity.Lambowitz continued his explanation of the government's desire to wipe out so... Read Full Story
President Obama, hoping to refocus attention on National Health Care, has set his meeting with white Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge, Massachusetts Police Department and black Harvard University Professor, Henry Louis Gates, Jr. The meeting is designed to ease tensions over the recent miscue at the home of Gates, who was arrested while attempting to break into his own home.Crowley has taken exception to the fact he has been deemed a racist for arresting Gates while the latter was using a ... Read Full Story
