Yet Another Jet Skids Off Runway

In what pilots refer to as "skid-hopping", yet another commercial U.S. airliner has failed to reach its destination by several thousand miles by coming to an untimely halt at the end of a runway.Continental flight 1404 en route to Houston, Texas was found in a ravine, 40 feet below the runway and nowhere near Houston, leaving passengers stranded, without luggage, and little first class service. The black box voice recorders of the aircraft taped passengers who appeared to have been speaking with raised voices, "we're going to die," "you call this first class", and "why is the overhead luggage compartment melting on my head" among a mixture of obscenities as the left engine decided to vacate the premises along with the landing gears before the 737-500 came to a halt. Ernest Hermeling, a passenger, told reporters that this was not the first time he has experienced a "skid-hop." "Actually, I've been in several of them. This one was nothing to write home about. When you see a hand or foot flying past you as flames are encompassing your face, THEN you've got something to tell the kids back home." Hermeling had planned to walk from the scene back to the terminal when he was struck by an emergency vehicle speeding to the wreckage, thus, in a bizarre twist of fate, becoming the only passenger to be dismembered. Aviation authorities were seen sifting through the wreckage looking for wallets and other items of interest in an attempt to piece together the final moments of the flight.