ginagg

I was in a health food shop today chatting with the owner and as many conversations go we ended up talking about relationships! He had recently, but reluctantly, split up from a 12 year relationship. His description of his ex and the power behind his words spelt out a very raw man still in pain. Many of us try to rationalise and logically put the past in a neat little box labelled “oh well they weren’t right for me anyway” but in reality that person, even though others tell you are better... Read Full Story

Hedy Schleifer , a genius in the world of helping intimate relationships thrive, talks about each person being an “island.” This analogy works really well with clients, who say that thinking of themselves an island work really well when it comes to knowing how to understand themselves and their honey better. Hedy says, for us to communicate effectively, we need to visit each other’s island, not shout from our island expecting the other person to have the same view. Or indeed make their... Read Full Story

Happy 2012 friends and conscious relationship fans!  Are you ready for this pivotal year? So much has been written and predicted about this year. Did you run into 1st Jan shouting “bring it on!”, or did you tip toe in, wondering what the heck is going to happen this year? I am a mixture of both, with fingers crossed up my back that we all have the best year we could hope for, because that’s what has been promised in some texts. We have been digging the spiritual tunnel for years and now... Read Full Story

Have you noticed as Christmas approaches a certain energy descends on us? Like a mist it silently drifts into our minds and hearts urging us to, connect deeper and appreciate those we love more or act on things we don’t like in our lives, or reflect on times gone by with those who are not around us any more. Each year as the decorations go on sale, the weather gets colder and the days shorter, I notice people acting slightly differently including myself, almost in response to a mysterious... Read Full Story

Do we get more mellow as we age making our relationships easier without the need for trips to Relate or more years of self introspection or does the amount of experiences we have mellow our view towards each other? As much as I loathe to talk numbers, I am 46 next birthday and notice over the years how much life has changed and grown into a really amazing place, quite naturally on some levels just because I have got older. I am very happy and settled with Joel, my conscious partner in... Read Full Story

When you think of the word survival what picture comes to mind? Mine looks like a lone battle against something that brings me pain, where I am just existing and managing to get by each day and I am certainly far from happiness and peace.  In relationships (and the clue is in the word!), relating through words and body language is our only means of staying connected to our tribe, community and indeed those close to us. We have to be able to relate to belong and feel felt by others.  The... Read Full Story

Have you ever been asked this question by a partner, past or current when you were feeling upset about something? And did you know what you needed in the moment? I am noticing lately “what do you need from me?” is carrying more and more significance in my work with couples. It appears to be the principal healer and brain “re-wirer” from the past to a present and future that is more wholesome, fulfilled and connected. Learning to re-language relationships is fast becoming the essence of my... Read Full Story

What does freedom in a relationship mean to you? And what does giving freedom to your partner feel like?  The second question pushes some of my buttons because I desire for Joel to be ultimately free to be himself and ‘separately connected’ to me (in Imago language), but it also brings up fears around “but if I allow him be that free, what if he leaves me eventually?” Do you recognise this feeling? We all want freedom but, in truth, don’t want to allow our partners the same freedom, even... Read Full Story

Have you ever suffered the emotional knifing of a relationship breakup? Why does it hurt so damn much? Why don’t we say “NEXT!” and smile joyfully as we trip down the road to the Plenty More Fish shop? The sudden and aching void that forms when your honey, who you thought was your only soul mate, best friend, lover and life companion, gives you the news that “it’s over” can send you down a very dark road.  It can be a period of deep analysis tinged with daily oscillation from loving them... Read Full Story

Inspired by having coffee at the beach with my beloved’s sister today I felt urged to share my thoughts on where I feel “we are at” in life, the Universe, the here and now, or whatever you choose to call it, in terms of our relationships. This mini blog is an instigator and prodder of inner and outer movement. Don’t continue to read if you are feeling sensitive! Let me start by asking a few questions about your relationship right now. Feel the answers that come and don’t rationalise them... Read Full Story