"83% of people who hate Sarah Palin are gayer than Easter baskets," says Fyodor Quackenbush of Hackensack Community College. "The percentage is higher among Democrats, but that is to be expected."Quackenbush, an instructor in auto mechanics and air conditioning repair, conducted a lengthy study of Palin haters during his lunch breaks at the community college."Every gay I talked to had horrible things to say about Sarah Palin," observed Quackenbush. "There i... Read Full Story

An Exclusive Fly on the Wall ReportJames Carville, Rahm Emanuel, and Roland Martin were couch surfing in Martin's apartment a few days ago."Gee, fellas," said Roland Martin, "I'm glad that you guys came. Can I get you a pizza roll?""They give me gas." said Carville."Shut your sassy mouth," said Rahm Emanuel. "I'm thinking.""Sorry," said Roland, "I just thought you guys might like some.""The republicans are ... Read Full Story

A group of high-level tech gurus announced the arrival of Web 2.1.1 Tuesday. "Web 2.0 is dead," said Ellsworth Mauger, a social media expert."Web 2.1.1 will usher in an entirely new era of solutions long before any problems present themselves. There is a pressing need for solutions that makes waiting for problems irrelevant."The long awaited advent of Web 2.1.1 had many movers and shakers on the internet edgy with anticipation."I'm always looking for the newest ... Read Full Story

White House Press Secretary Robert L. Gibbs announced Monday that President Barack Obama intends to appear on Dancing With the Stars with Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as soon as he learns the samba."The president can do the robot like nobody's business, but the samba is giving him fits," said Gibbs. "He has taken to running about the west wing of the White House shouting 'Amor! Amor!' to get in the mood, but so far he has stumbled twice and actually fallen once. I am... Read Full Story

Displaying the ingenuity that won him the presidency, Barack Obama filed suit against Osama Bin Laden in the Civil Court of New York City Monday."I know I'm going to take a lot of flak over this, because there is a $25,000.00 limit on the amount I can win, but it's the principle of the thing. I promised to bring Bin Laden to justice, and I will. Can't you just see the look on his face when he gets the summons?" chuckled the President.Keith Olbermann took a few minutes o... Read Full Story

President Barack (Hussein) Obama issued a stern warning yesterday to House Republicans and other mentally deficient rubes who listen to Rush Limbaugh, a formerly popular radio humorist."You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," said the President.It was unclear whether multi-taskers were included in the statement, but response from the public was immediate. Loyal Americans quickly turned off their radios and began to clean out their garages, prepare their tax... Read Full Story

Stop it, you idiots.Regards,GunnerP. S. Right now.Now Available: Public Playlist at Concert Vault. Listen to playlists with music from 1960-2008 and everywhere in between! Read Full Story

The sad, misogynistic Sarah Palin bashers in the blogosphere are so bizarre they are difficult to parody. Armed with unerring self-righteousness and just enough brains to be dangerous, their saving grace is an absurd mode (read meme if you're an atheist) of twisted pseudo-logic that, in itself, is pretty damned amusing.Take, for instance, this quote from someone known as Sweet Lucy 47 on a blog called Diva's Blue Oasis:"Palin had become a Pro-abortion Pro-Lifer.She really didn... Read Full Story

Pathetic bloggers are gnashing their teeth in parents' basements all over the US tonight because Sarah Palin had the effrontery to respond to their lies and inuendoes. In an Esquire article she said, "Bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie annoy me."Perusing the front page of a Google blogsearch on Sarah Palin one finds two blogs repeating Jon Stewart's witty diatribe trashing MS. Palin by calling her "Blarney Whinehouse." Stewart is wonderfully droll and app... Read Full Story

NBC News banned Ann Coulter from network appearances Monday citing an "unrelenting fear," and a general "queasy feeling" in her presence."She just creeps me out," explained Seve Capus, President, NBC News. "I get the feeling she is going to tear my tongue out of my head or something. Everybody around here is frightened to death of her.""I'm not afraid of her. I just don't want her around me," said Keith Olbermann, who plays a news re... Read Full Story