havingtwinsnow

Since I haven’t really told the story in any disgusting detail, nor do I plan on it, I figure I’d give the run down succinctly so that come their 5th or 6th birthday, I can recall it easier with this here script. This is our twins story. Jules was high risk for this pregnancy, like the first one, even before we found out it was twins. But because of her blood pressure and how awesome her piss was, we were having three or four doctor appointments a week. Each visit was 45 minutes each way... Read Full Story

If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t posted that much lately at havingtwinsnow.com for a number of reasons. Most of all, I’m just swamped with responsibility at home with the three kids, and work is nice and busy, and I’ve been brewing a lot of beer and reading a lot and basically enjoying life away from the computer. Also, I’ve been really happy and lucky to be involved in the website http://www.shutyourfuckingfaceandlisten.com as a consistent columnist and contributor. They like me for my huge... Read Full Story

6 months have passed since the twins were born and it’s interesting to see how our lives have gone from complete panic and stress to one of “i know what i have to do to enjoy an hour on the couch after everyone is asleep”. at about the 3 month old mark, just before julie was getting ready to head back to work, we still hadnt put much thought into how two working adults were going to get out of the house in the morning in time for work, let alone how the house itself would survive such chaos... Read Full Story

now that im a recovering catholic who has completely sworn off all things religious, i am still unable to take time off from work without feeling like a complete douchenozzle. but i guess i should mention that i am completely pro-not-being-an-asshole, so yeah, wait, that’s the exact opposite of what catholics have been in my experience… moving on the guilt is so ingrained into my psyche that when i was recovering from having my appendix out april before last, i was back at work (and soon... Read Full Story

granted, my balls are divine and filled with the sperm of the ancients, but regardless of their lineage and internet fame, may is usually the time when i am most fertile. wifey and i celebrate our wedding anniversary amidst our family’s craziest month of the year for us, today may 22nd. may holds her mom’s birthday, her dad’s birthday, her birthday, mother’s day, our anniversary and memorial day. because we always try to take a night away from everyone else around this time of year, we also... Read Full Story

i saw a cop i recognized at the gas station this morning. he nodded at me and i had that “where do i know that guy from?” moment where you get the pit in your stomach thinking that you owe the dude money, plus he’s carrying a gun, so im a potential corpse if i dont figure this out fast. as i get into line to pay for me petrol he comes behind me and asks, like he’s a friend of mine – completely chill and non-threatening, “you gettin any more sleep lately?” i turn around slowly trying to... Read Full Story

a friend contacted me over a year ago to lay down some guitars on a track that i had never heard, but was told was the greatest song ever recorded. not only is that intimidating and flattering at the same time, but it says something about my friends. they know the awesome when they hear it. now this song has been played on youtube a few thousand times in an unofficial leak since the song had never really been released. until now, complete with some noodling from the dad with the amazing... Read Full Story

i remember the first few weeks of daycare for our 2 year old when he first started, it seemed crazy the amount of preparation and shit to remember just to not piss off the daycare ladies and have everything your lil’ dude needs. we would spend two, sometimes three hours just getting everything together for the week on sunday night and then every night there seemed to be a good two hours of sporadic preparation that included laundry, dishes and list making that we would abide by. all that... Read Full Story

describing what having twins is like to people is like trying to describe how hollow you feel after getting raped by a politician who gave you a semblance of hope in change after such a long period of reactionary cynicism that you’re actually more embarassed that you got duped vs. angry that this smoothie hasn’t done anything but make shit worse. everything  seems complex, emotional from all sides, tear inducing, stressful and makes you feel distinctly isolated from anyone else who’s... Read Full Story

Pretty much the first thing you notice as a new parent of multiples is that you are now the center of attention wherever you are in public. This might last a few seconds in passing down the grocery aisle, a few minutes in the doctor’s waiting room or complete fucking days if one or both of your twins are ever hospitalized. The first few aren’t so bad, and you might be able to sneak up a few spaces in line from a gracious fellow shopper or medical office waiting room participant. That last one... Read Full Story