Heff's Bar And Grill has finally "Dropped a Deuce" !!With 395 posts under my belt, Yes folks - it's that time..... I can't put in to words what this special time with all of you has meant to me, so I WON'T. Turn your speaker volume up, as the backing track to this video is INTEGRAL.Let's all enjoy a 3 & 1/2 minute "sentimental journey" through the past 2 years at H.B.A.G., shall we ?Now without further adieu, "Move over Rover, and let "Babs" take over !""Tito, get me a tissue..." Read Full Story

Heff's Bar And Grill has been brought to you by :" KY Yours & Mine. A quality product SO EXPENSIVE, you feel fucked before you ever even open the package." Read Full Story

Fuck me runnin', Crimson Turders ! If I hear the name "John Parker Wilson" one more time this season, I'm gonna bake a loaf in my Fruit of the Looms !Motherfucker isn't even on the team anymore, and his name still resonates like a fart on a metal chair !!!At least the Crimson Turd fans aren't still talking about Bear Bry.....oh wait...I just heard his name, too... FUCK !I figured I ought to throw a jab at the Turders before Auburn's TN game, while we're still undefeated, lol.Bamurhs, KNEEL BE... Read Full Story

Stereotypes. We've all heard 'em, but did O.J. really have to be so arrogant as to put a damn boot on it ?Photo taken from a 1978 Playboy Magazine in Heff's collection.Maybe if "The Juice" had endorsed Nike or Adidas INSTEAD, and put that 3rd leg to proper use, we could've had a much more exciting ON FOOT chase than that white Ford Bronco fiasco.He could've also used one of my favorite Cleavon Little lines from "Blazing Saddles" : "And now, for my next impression - JESSE OWENS !!!" Read Full Story

Finally, the Heavyweight fights are coming back !Vitali "The Klit" Klitschko takes on Chris Arreola tomorrow night ! "I'll take Dr. Iron Klit for one-thousand, Alex"Yes, I think The Klit will lick Arreola.I'm also gonna watch the Mayweather/Marquez replay which I'm sure will also be shown.Have a Kick-Ass weekend, Everybody ! Read Full Story

This post doubles as Heff and Donna's entry in the September Blogger Culinary Challenge !Before we begin, Heff and Donna have decided to let CHEF TROLL HIMSELF judge 2 WINNERS - one for best Culinary Challenge blog post, and one for best Culinary Challenge dish entry. Chef Troll is to announce both the winners IN THIS POST'S comment section on 09/25/2009, if he'll be so kind. (Don't make Donna declare herself the winner, lol !)Remember - besides whatever comment you want to leave for Heff, If... Read Full Story

Back by POPULAR DEMAND, IT'S....Heff's Top Ten Signs you MAY Have An Alcohol Problem !# 10. Your sense of fashion, maturity, composure, and self restraint are quickly shot to hell.# 9. Only ONE Six pack left in the refrigerator...now THAT'S a problem !# 8. You can focus better with one eye closed.# 7. Your employment constantly interferes with your drinking schedule.# 6. Hey, 15 beers have AT LEAST as many calories as a full meal, FUCK dinner !# 5. You experience never ending personal turmoil... Read Full Story

Not hardly.A cool cover DOES NOT the awesome magazine make....and just WHAT IS IT with this vampire craze we're experiencing as of late ? Oh....this issue has nothing to do the vampire "craze", this issue has vampires on it BECAUSE IT SUCKS OUT LOUD !! This is the worst issue of Playboy in quite some time in Heff's opinion. Centerfold Lindsey Gayle Evans is WELL below Playboy standards, the vampire pictorial "Love Bites" was LAME at best, and the Girls Of The A.C.C. feature wasn't even as goo... Read Full Story

In case you haven't heard, Heff and Donna have been hand picked (Oh Yes!) by Chef Troll Y2K to host the Blogger Culinary Challenge this month ! It's ON !Now as of late, Heff has been busier than a prostitute with past due rent, so I'm only gonna make small demands, here. ONE entrée ONLY, with THIS being the battle ingredient :Yes, folks : BATTLE BOW TIE PASTA ! You're DAMN RIGHT - I want your entrée dressed out in formal wear ! I figure bow tie pasta as the main ingredient will leave this co... Read Full Story

Well, Wil Harrison DID NOT make it to the H.B.A.G. Friday night jam, but he DID stop by Saturday night to hang out and shoot the shit. Photos later.In the meantime, how 'bout some Megadeth this Monday ? Read Full Story