Happy Jack

I have a big week. A very big week. I have 4 whores booked for scenes. I’m gearing myself up for only 2 of them to show up. That way I’m not too bullshit when the whores inevitably flake. It’ll happen. I’m ready for it. Like I’m ready for anything.

Whores are not why this is a big week for me though. Something much more important is happening this week. I will be FINALLY getting my college degree! I’ve never felt such a sense of accomplishment from anything in my entire life. I’m not trying to get sappy at all but I FUCKING DID IT! Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at your hard work and say to yourself “You did a great job. Kudos, Jack.”

I was never much of a student back in the day. I never applied myself in school. People would always say to me “Jack, you’re the smartest person I know. Why didn’t you ever go to college?” Now I can finally say “Fuck you, loser! I’m a college graduate!” It feels really awesome. I’m seriously thinking abhout giving up porn now and focusing on some more important work that a scholar like myself should be doing. Maybe I’ll become a teacher or a lawyer or something. I haven’t decided. I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I was near the finish line. Which I am.

 It all came about by accident too. I was emptying my spam folder when I saw a saw an email “Get you degree in 14 days!” actually it said “G3T UR D3GR33 1N i4 D@YZ”. I had to investigate. Apparently, there is a university on a small island in the south pacific that specializes in educating busy people like myself. Their focus is not bogging people down with classes and tests and other bullshit but on REWARDING people for their life’s work. You know this school is the balls as they have a whopping 100% graduation rate! Beat that shit HARVARD!

Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to brag about my accomplishment. I hate to seem like I’m full of myself but I’m just proud of my accomplishment. I’m sure some of you, the uneducated ones, will be hating on me. Jealous. Envious that I’m a doer and you are not. I understand. today is not a day for me to hate back. It’s a day for me to just bask in my awesomeness.

Smartly yours,

Jack