jwmsales

From The Rhinoceros Is Eating S'Ghetti W heat Field Jesus was crouched down along the side of Main Street, also known as interstate 70. It was, in fact, western Kansas – near the edge of Russell County. Wheat Field Jesus was peering over the tops of wheat stalks and wearily watching over Kansans in their pick–up trucks and Chevy Malibus. I had to stop, if only briefly, to explain to Wheat Field Jesus that it wasn't safe for him here. A short while ago I had traveled this way and Wheat... Read Full Story

I'm wearing my Tebow jersey for halloween. When trick or treaters come to my door I'm going to throw candy over their heads, behind them, and into the ground. Read Full Story

From the Blog The world changes with each passing moment, sometimes for the better, too often for the worse. Yesterday, a leader who worked to make this a better place passed away. Steve Jobs was only 56 years old, but his impact on the world was tremendous. We all loved Steve Jobs for the incredible products Apple has given us over the years. He built the first computer that was actually fun. He made the machine our friend instead of something we had to use. For those of us in the... Read Full Story

Note: The author can’t make claims to have actually been to Hell. He’s been through it, to be sure. But to land in the place, to spend time there and to get to know it is beyond his experience. So, most will, necessarily, consider this a work of fiction. As far as meeting the Devil is concerned, again, the author cannot claim this as fact. Though it must be said, he once met Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney, so that argument is still open. Wide open. Read Full Story

I can tell you that in 1976 I hit .427 for Norwood Sorrentos Baseball Club and that I didn’t commit a single error that season in center field. That same season Bob Crable, the former Notre Dame All-America and New York Jet stand out, embedded the number 500 in my head. At the time, Crable was playing for the Midland Cardinals baseball team in Cincinnati. He hit a ball so hard that by the time I chased it down and picked it up he was crossing home plate. The field we were playing on didn’t... Read Full Story

From The Rhinoceros Is Eating S'ghetti I ’m not the sort to be overly sentimental. And, truth be told, I tend to count amongst the living-dead those not yet retired who frequently reminisce about days gone by, especially high school days. Relishing past glories too often is to give up on present aspirations and celebrations. It’s kind of like listening to classic rock from back in the day and nothing else. Look, Dude, try some Jimmy Eat World or Linkin Park. Yes, Eddie Van Halen was cool... Read Full Story

It’s an eerie but incredible feeling when your fourteen year old daughter takes the stage at one of the legendary bars in the west, the Little Bear in Evergreen, Colorado , on the fourth of July. She was invited to sing with local band BullMary and she made the most of the opportunity, captivating the crowd with booming, nuanced vocals that are way beyond her age. Over the years there have been a lot of talented and loved acts who have performed at Little Bear, including Willie Nelson, John... Read Full Story

I am the sushi king. This is commonly known amongst my friends. Mind you, this is less for my depth of knowledge regarding raw fish and rice than it is for my friends lack of it. And this isn't something I'm about to discourage. There is no way I'm going to let a group of mouth breathers who order their steaks well done have a say in my raw fish. No way. As the sushi king I am also the head of Public Relations. It’s a good job, in a dishonest kind of way, if you know what I mean. I get to... Read Full Story

My daughter, smart though she may be, is like all teenagers: omniscient of all things life and indignant towards her elders (that would be me). She is not singular in this affliction, of course. All teenagers since the opposable thumb evolved have been know-it-alls, myself excepted — I swear! Lately she has taken to posting on Facebook bits of parenting knowledge she wishes those of us with inferior DNA would acquire. And today I logged into the site to find this: “Dear Parents: Taking... Read Full Story

My daughter, smart though she may be, is like all teenagers: omniscient of all things life and indignant towards her elders (that would be me). She is not singular in this affliction, of course. All teenagers since the opposable thumb evolved have been know-it-alls, myself excepted — I swear! Lately she has taken to posting on Facebook bits of parenting knowledge she wishes those of us with inferior DNA would acquire. And today I logged into the site to find this: “Dear Parents: Taking... Read Full Story