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I tend to get a lot of spam comments on Magick Mini Movie Review: Bad Lieutenant . Apparently, "harvey keitel penis" is a popular Google search. Though the most interesting commenter this year was Call Girls in Mumbai --I clicked it and it does appear to be a website advertising Indian prostitutes--Anonymous' critique of Uggs (replete with  links to online sales of same) has the distinction of being the Best Spam I've Gotten This Year. Spam is a terrible thing, I know, but I hope you'll agree... Read Full Story

You're in that mad, last minute scramble to find a present for that special someone. When it comes to gift-giving, a scarf is always a safe choice, right? Not always. Behold: In your frenzy to get out of the store, don't forget to pay attention to what you're buying. Unless she wants to look like her nipples sucked a lemon or saw their own shadow and retreated for six more weeks of winter, put this back on the clearance pile. If she's into that sort of thing, go ahead and get it. I'm... Read Full Story

Over here at Magick Sandwich, we've finished our Christmas shopping. Since we never stop spending on ourselves, it's really just shopping with the holidays as a convenient cover story. Much like an alcoholic who rationalizes drinking on special occasions, for a shopper every day is a special occasion. Speaking of addiction and Christmas, you might be thinking of giving the last-minute gift of a bottle of vino. After all, Jesus, guest of honor, turned water into wine. Since you can't, you... Read Full Story

Pittstown, DE--Is your neighborhood nativity scene safe? Sadly, the answer was no for the Davis family, whose three year old daughter, Mensa, was injured last night when a faulty manger toppled onto the youngster. "We were in the town square videotaping her throwing rocks at squirrels," her father read from a prepared statement at a press conference this morning. "It's good for her hand-eye coordination. Then she started to climb up the manger wall. One moment her mother and I were... Read Full Story

At Magick Sandwich, we like a nice BLT. Minus the L and T, of course. We also know it makes an awesome gift. Surprise your loved ones with the gift that keeps on giving, all the way from tastiness to heartburn to deadly plaque buildup: bacon. Heard of heirloom tomatoes? Kids' stuff. The Pig's Heirloom Bacon Club will ship your loved ones a different "delicious artisan bacon made from heritage pork" each month, selected by professional bacon connoisseurs . That's an intriguing... Read Full Story

I recently stayed in Room 35 of the Irma Hotel in Cody, Wyoming. Prior guests reported lights going on and off, being touched by an unseen hand, etc. Some claimed they saw the ghost of a Civil War soldier in dress uniform--but only half of him! Creepy. I didn't get to find out which half. It occurred to me the next morning that, had I seen a ghost, I would have had to change my entire belief system. So it was probably a good thing nothing happened. But staying in a "haunted" room got me... Read Full Story

Here at Magick Sandwich, we enjoy a bit of name-calling as much as the next guy. Back at the end of May, when it appeared the Rapture hadn't happened, we wracked our brains to come up with a term that would adequately define the non-event. In order to share our results with the world--and to try to look clever--we rushed off our newly minted moniker to the folks at Urban Dictionary . Then we waited. And waited. In the intervening months, we learned from that lovable old coot and... Read Full Story

They're back!   It's that time again: the End of Days. Seriously, they really mean it this time. To be fair, the date the world will end hasn't changed. It's the Rapture that was a little confusing. Remember when Harold Camping--an old geeze who, inexplicably, people pay attention to--said the Rapture would happen on May 21st, 2011? You know, it was the day that God's chosen ones would be whisked up to Heaven and dine on honeydew while the rest of us writhed in agony on an earth... Read Full Story

I can't wait for September 12th. Why? Not because I fear an attack on the 11th but because I just want everyone to shut up about it . There's something unseemly about the orgy of coverage surrounding the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attack. On one level, we deal with the chilling knowledge that we are not safe. Maybe we know somebody who died. Maybe we know somebody who got lucky. Maybe we know somebody who knows somebody. Or we got upset watching it on TV. We all own this experience, at... Read Full Story

It's National Milk Chocolate Day! Finally there's a crass commercial holiday that we can all love! (Except for vegans, who are still waiting for their petition for a National Gluten-Free Soy Pretend Food Substitute Day to go through Congress. Good luck, guys!) But I digress. I almost missed out on National Donut Day and I won't make that mistake again. It doesn't matter that no one can seem to pinpoint when and how this holiday came to be. Many of my Google searches send me to the M&M site... Read Full Story