"anything that is of value in life, only multiplies when it is given..." tell me that again... what about health, then, smart alec?  that's of high value, but i'm not giving that away.i don't mind sharing my bad health, though.if i sneeze on you, my germs will probably multiply and you'll get the cold, or swine flu, which does seemsome compensation for my suffering. i suppose the quote is saying that if we love one another, the lurv will multiply and the world will be full of it.but if i see ... Read Full Story

i'm still building up my library of teach yourself books.thanks for recent contributions, which i have now acquired.but i now have a whole new shelf to fill, so ... i wondered about...teach yourself COMMUNICATING WITH FISH - imagine the look on your goldfish's face when you tell it you're just off out to the shops; and imagine the look on yours when it says bring me a mars bar, i'm sick to death of f%^&* ing flakes teach yourself STOMACH PUMPING - forget dieting, just clear your tubes out onc... Read Full Story

if i turn my watch back an hour, i should be able to catch that programme i missed. why do some people use the term 'old bat' - i never saw my grandma hanging upside down in a cave. the mens champion at wimbledon will win a load of money - which may mean a murray mint... ha ha.(sorry, that was a night joke, not a night thought) if i placed my sculpture of a hare on top of my cupboard, would that make it a harey chest. why have i got a clock on the bedside table?  i'm asleep, aren't i?       ... Read Full Story

the latest in our series of chart-topping words is ... vagary: which means an extravagant, erratic, or unpredictable notion, action, or occurrence. it's another one that sounds like it is - vague, vagary. presumably the word vagrant, comes from a combination of vagary and rant - because vagrants either make me want to rant about the injustice of the world, or about the fact that they keep tapping me up for money, which i realise is quite erratic and unpredictable of me. one of my vagaries, i ... Read Full Story

i love the heatwave tips that are being put round by bored health service press offices - it's stuff you would never have dreamed of, like... OPEN THE WINDOWS - my god! thank you! what a novel idea! DRINK LOTS OF COOL DRINKS - oh yes! that would cool us down and make us less thirsty!!  wow! STAY OUT OF THE SUN - no way! you mean, if you stay in the shade, you won't get so hot? fantastic! other tips include keeping an eye on elderly neighbours.now that's all well and good but i can imagine wha... Read Full Story

well, we now know that bacon is the top ingredient of a sandwich, but it is time to move on to other important issues of vital importance to the world... so the new question is WHAT'S THE BEST ... CHOCOLATE BAR? my vote goes to Old Jamaica, but i'd settle for a slab of fruit and nut, at a push. how about you? Comments Read Full Story

welcome to the eagle eye round pound campaign. for those of you unfortunate enough not to live in britain (everybody say 'awwwwww') a pound is the unit of currency we use to buy things like fish and chips, beer, and umbrellas. the problem is that retailers don't seem to like them (round pounds, i mean).a new car is £5,999 (if you are lucky) not £6,000.you'll be charged £1.99, but never £2.presumably the theory is that we are all fooled into thinking that that one penny makes all the differenc... Read Full Story

... do you, or do you not, wear jim jams (or a nightie thing, or a wetsuit, or any form of clothing) in bed?   this is the latest eagle eye survey and obviously all replies will be treated in strict confidence. just for the record, i don't.     Comments Read Full Story

and the first contender, who is hoping to win a year's free subscription to the eagle eye blog (big prize, that), has finally got a product into one of the catalogues you get inserted sneakily into magazines.you don't really want to read them, but you get hooked in by a front page advert for hygenic nose hair clippers, or something. anyway, this week's bloggers den contestant has invented a battery powered ear wax remover (i kid you not).just insert two AA batteries (into the gadget, not yer ... Read Full Story

this one leaves me speechless (almost) "Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself." that pearl of wisdom came from someone called joel hawes, a clerical gentleman, born in massachusetts in the 18th century. was he into archery, or something? i hope he will forgive me if i re-write it, as follows: 'aim at the sun, and you may not reach it, because it is 93 million miles away, and you won't see where your arr... Read Full Story