12 Easy Ways to start a fight with your spouse

I can very well say that there is no easy way to avoid a fight with your spouse.  In fact there are some really easy way you can start one.  Here are some of them:

1. A couple sat down on the couch next to each other and the husband was flipping channels.
   The wife asked, "What's on TV?"
   Husband said, "Dust."
   That’s when the fight started…
2. The wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
   The husband bought her a scale.
   That’s when the fight started…
3. When a husband got home last night, the wife demanded, Honey, take me someplace expensive... so, the husband took her to a gas station.
   That’s when the fight started…
4. After retiring, an old man went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for the driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet home. He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he would have to go home and come back later.
   The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt" so the old opened his shirt revealing his curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.
   When he got home, he excitedly told his wife about the experience at the Social Security office.
   She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."
   That’s when the fight started…
5. A wife and a husband were sitting at a table at a high school reunion, and the husband kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
   The wife asked, "Do you know her?"
   "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
   "My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
   That’s when the fight started…
6. A husband took his wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took the husband’s order first.
   "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
   He asked, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
   "Nah, she can order for herself."
   That’s when the fight started…
7. A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
   She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
   The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
   That’s when the fight started…
8. A wife asked her husband if a certain dress made her butt look big. He told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
   That’s when the fight started…
9. A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
   Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
   The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man "Holy crap. That must be my husband!"
   So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
   A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
   The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"
   That’s when the fight started…
10. A husband asked his wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
    It warmed his heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So he suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
    That’s when the fight started…
11. A man and a woman were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while they were in bed.
    The man turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
    "No," she answered.
    I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
    She didn't even look at his this time, simply saying "Yes."
    So the man said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
    That’s when the fight started…
12. I was engrossed into writing this blog post and didn’t notice that it had been a couple of hours.
    When she saw what I was writing, that’s when the fight started…