Don’t Go There, Bartman!

The folks at sportsbuy.com and the National Sports Collectors Convention have figured out a scheme to get The Most Hated Man on Chicago’s North Side, Steve Bartman, to surface. They are offering the would-be souvenir catcher $25,000 to appear and sign one autograph on a photo of him destroying long-suffering Cubs’ fans’ hopes of making it to the Series. The event’s in Rosemont, IL, a suburb of Chicago, one of the few that doesn’t have Wood, Oak, Lawn or Dale in its name.

Yeah, right. What do you suppose awaits Mr. Bartman upon his arrival at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center? In the words of Kelly Bundy, the mind wobbles. There could be a giant mouse trap with a box of chocolates and a giant “We Forgive You” card. Naaah. Too Tom & Jerry. There could be a bunch of guys with boiling oil waiting over the entrance. Nope. Too Angles & Saxons. More likely, there could be a bunch of bitter no-lifes there with guns lurking in the foyer for the unsuspecting Mr. Bartman. Uh-uh. Too Smith & Wesson. At least I hope not. I’d like to think we are a forgiving people. And who could be more forgiving than Good Old Cubs’ Fan? After all they have endured 100 years of Championship-less ball. Last time they won, Roosevelt was in the White House. NOT FRANKLIN, TEDDY!

Since the Cubs last won, 16 Presidents have come and gone and 4 states have been added to the United States. We had 8 planets; then we had 9. We have 8 again since we fired Pluto.

The Cubbies are having a pretty nice season this year. I’d love to see them make it to the World Series. You see, I’m a Red Sox fan, so I know about waiting to win the big one. Of course the Sox will kick your asses in the Series.

You know, I think Moises would have caught that ball…

So close. RUN, STEVE! RUUUUUUN!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008 at 8:30 pm and is filed under UNCATEGORIZED. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.