I saw Joe Jackson's "press conference" last night on CNN. He's giving a press conference about his dead son, and he opens it by plugging his new record label. What a vile, vile, despicable piece of shit that man is. I told my friend Nick: "You know, they should give those kids to Liz Taylor." Hell, Bubbles the Chimp would be a better guardian than that assclown. Read Full Story

2009-06-25 Yeah, so....It's all over the news. It's all over Facebook. "OMG did u hear?"And then there are the people waxing outraged that it's getting the face time that it is. There are more important things going on in the world. And there are. Of course there are. But you'll forgive me if I squeeze my two cents in before going back to worrying about Iran, Iraq, and the Real Housewives of New Jersey.Let's try, for a second, to forget about Jesus Juice, the disintegrating face, and ... Read Full Story

2009-06-19 More than my birthday, or the first day of January, I view June 19th as the beginning of a new year for me. It's the day I put down the bottle, and decided I wanted my life back.June 19th, 2002 started out -- sadly -- as most of my days had been starting for a long time: with a drink. It was warm Chardonnay in a plastic cup. My body, at that point, was trying desperately to protect itself: I could not keep any alcohol down without enormous effort on my part. I chugged the C... Read Full Story

It's like the Universe gave me the bestest present EVER. I mean, besides my family, my friends, and the fact that my marriage didn't implode. Besides THOSE things, this is better than Neil Finn on a pony bearing several pairs of Jonathan Kelseys. Read Full Story

2009-06-10 So as it turns out, I DID get a call from my doctor and there IS something wrong with me.Hellllooooo anemia!This explains why I've been so damn tired lately. I was chalking that up to all the stress I've been dealing with for the last couple of months. It's probably more likely that the stress led to the anemia.So I'm on supplements, I have to eat better, and I get to go visit the Russians in September to surrender more of my blood. Good times. lisamcc at 7:37 a.m. 1 comments... Read Full Story

2009-05-31 I post this not because this kinda represents everything I find wrong with Sting (I mean, other than "The Bride") but because it's a lame tie-in with this entry.It's late spring, and, as it is with me this time of year, I'm doing my healthcare rounds. On Tuesday I go in for my mandatory biannual mammogram/ultrasound (because my boobs are like chicken cutlets stuffed with superballs), and this past Friday afternoon was spent in the company of The Russians.My primary care physicia... Read Full Story

2009-05-21 At the IHOP/You looked like an angel/And I looked like a john...-- Ad Frank, "The Five Days We Were Friends"A new IHOP opened up in the building that housed the world's saddest Applebee's, on Providence Highway in Dedham. This is about a 15 minute drive away, and I couldn't be more pleased. I generally turn my nose up at chain restaurants, but I have a soft spot for the ones that do breakfast-at-all-hours, like IHOP, Denny's, and their stunted regional cousins like The Village ... Read Full Story

2009-05-19 Foot Foot is, we're guessing, about 10 months old now. She graduated to "big girl" crunchies this week, which she is consuming with gusto. Her appetite is good, and she seems happy and healthy.But we're coming to terms with some cold, hard facts about Foot Foot.She's wicked stupid. And she's crazy.She's that combination of stupid and crazy that would be downright dangerous if we were dealing with, say, a 300 lb adult male. As it stands, we're struggling enough with this 6 lb ... Read Full Story

2009-05-18 I made the "mistake" of expressing my happiness/hopefulness regarding the fifth anniversary of the ruling in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health. If you're too lazy to click through, this threw open the doors to allow same-sex marriage in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.The "mistake" I made was expressing this on Facebook, which is only marginally less socially retarded than MySpace. Immediately one of my hyper-religious cousins piped in: the Catholic Church says marria... Read Full Story

2009-05-15 Man, this has been one rancid, turgid, beached manatee of a week. Several of my friends have been laid off, and I'm indulging in a bit more "nervous eating" than is probably good for me.But then I think of something that I saw on Facebook earlier this week. My old high school pal Crissy posted that she was dealing with conjunctivitis and the attendant gross-ness and another friend responded: "Well, look at it this way -- when it's over, you get to buy new mascara!"THAT is the ... Read Full Story