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* Lady in red … Abbey Clancy. I ALWAYS had ABBEY CLANCY and PETER CROUCH down as a couple who would rather eat at Nando’s than a posh restaurant. But the Spurs ace was snapped treating his missus to a swanky dinner at The Dorchester on Thursday night. Abbey looked like she might have overcooked it on the red wine, holding her head as she walked out the door. * Hot date … Abbey and Peter. The loved-up couple bumped into screen icon SOPHIA LOREN in the hotel and said a quick hello... Read Full Story

* Balloons: inflating them can get you in trouble, it seems. A clown has lost his case against New York City police, after a federal jury ruled that they didn’t use excessive force when they arrested him after he left a suspicious device at a coffee shop. The ’suspicious device’ turned out to be a balloon inflator. Alexander Alhovsky sued following his 2006 arrest, which stemmed from an investigation of a report of a suspicious package with tubes and wiring at a Manhattan Starbucks. The... Read Full Story

Kelly Brook is a girl for every occasion after getting kitted out for scenes from classic movies. Complete with pearls, she strikes a pose as Audrey Hepburn from the Sixties rom-com Breakfast At Tiffany’s. The 29-year-old also makes a hot Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. But she puts on a less convincing - while strangely intriguing - portrayal of Harrison Ford from films such as Raiders Of The Lost Ark. Brook, who stars in Calendar Girls in the West End, is promoting Sky Movies... Read Full Story

A stuffed giraffe has been rescued from the clutches of a pervert who wanted to have sex with it. Police in Oregon, USA, saw drunken Sean McDowell, 24, picking up the 1.3m (4ft) tall toy outside a shop and simulate sex with it twice. ‘He was pretty enamoured with it and decided he was taking it home,’ said Sergeant Bob Smith. ‘Then he turns and sees one of our officers and he puts the giraffe down and walks away. Later in the evening, he did it again. Maybe he had struck out with all... Read Full Story

THOSE Victoria’s Secret babes know how to put on a cracking show. The models, including MIRANDA KERR in this cheeky outfit, strutted their stuff on the catwalk donning the latest VS lingerie. * Secret’s out … Miranda Kerr. Read Full Story

* Santa: Postal Service’s inability to find out who’s naughty or nice may stop children getting replies. It is one of the few writing traditions that has not fallen by the wayside in the world of e-mailing and texting. But American children sending off letters to Santa Claus at the North Pole could be in for a disappointment this year - they are unlikely to get a reply. The US Postal Service is stopping its system that any letters addressed to Santa Claus, North Pole, get sent to the... Read Full Story

CORONATION Street babe Michelle Keegan looks so thighly desirable in this picture that she’s left TV Biz totally ‘Chelle shocked. No wonder her character Tina McIntyre is causing such a stir with the poor blokes in Weatherfield. Wayward David Platt (Jack P Shepherd) is still trying to win back Tina’s heart - but she’s now living with Jason Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas). And there will be another man to complicate things even more in episodes of the ITV1 soap to screen at Christmas. David’s... Read Full Story

KIDS, this is how NOT to get fit. AMY WINEHOUSE went for a session in the gym and then sparked up a fag as she danced out the door. At least she has packed in the cigars and the Class A drugs. But her fitness regime isn’t one I’d recommend for a healthy set of heart and lungs. In a bid to get fitter and gain a curvier physique, Amy has enrolled at a Virgin Active in London. With her new fake bangers I hope the club have warned members to take care when passing her on the treadmill... Read Full Story

* Neighbours from hell? … Paris and Doug. NOISY LA residents PARIS HILTON and DOUG REINHARDT are reportedly on their final warning from fed-up cops. Law enforcement officials have been called to the couple’s abode on numerous occasions over furious complaints of disruption. Police have now threatened Paris - described by one angry neighbour as “a monster” - and Doug with “tickets and arrests” if anyone at their house breaks the law again, claims the TMZ website. Residents in the... Read Full Story

* Healthy … Katy. WHILE KATE MOSS is busy sticking to her “starve yourself” mantra, here’s proof that curves are great. KATY PERRY is a healthy example of a woman who eats and exercises, rather than avoiding grub to keep the figure of a seven-year-old. The singer hit the gym on Wednesday before showing up for a performance at a mobile phone launch in LA looking absolutely belting. It bears repeating: RUSSELL BRAND is one lucky man. * Healthy … Katy. Read Full Story