it's about time i returned....i am already tired of this dreadful summer weather - the sweaty, sticky steam bath bullshit that attracts skanks to the beaches and anorexics to bathing suits.i am ready for fall - for the harvest - for the magic - for the creepy and crispy air.will others join in on the salami project?who knows....but either way...autumn is coming....hope you are too! xoxoluvautumn Read Full Story

In the event of pursuit by Salamiphobes, there are certain countermeasures that can be taken. If you are being pursued by some sort of animal, step one is to assess the threat level. (example, a squirrel would have a relatively low threat profile, whereas, say, a grizzly bear might chart slightly higher on the old threat-o-meter.) ONLY, and I cannot stress this highly enough, ONLY jettison your precious Salami cargo if the situation is literally life or death. (And perhaps not even then, a fe... Read Full Story

hello my salami friends! today is the day - the last day - to shop and prepare for all your salami night needs!! duct tape, salami sliced thin, and the desire to change halloween history are all you need!admittedly, i have neglected this site and tho the project seemed abandoned, it never left my heart! i have a feeling that this was just a warm up for me - i test of my resolve. and now i know that i am more determined than ever to make this happen! so today i vow to all of my friends, r... Read Full Story

how ridiculously warm is it now in NJ? seriously! i don't know about you but i am sitting here in layers of tactical gear, a ski mask and a sack o' salami, sweating my ass off waiting for frickin fall to arrive! i will not be thwarted by weather and will move to wyoming if i must (which is actually a kick-ass state, by the way). i will not be pumpkin deprived. i will not miss out on the colors of fall simply because this damned region of the US refuses to check its calender and w... Read Full Story

it is now november (or it is for the purposes of this entry, so work with me).... you have eaten your weight in salami excess and candy crap you stole from the neighborhood kids... you are too tired to move your fat ass from the couch.... and you suddenly realize that the house needs decorating; that your clothes no longer fit; that your spouse (or domestic partner) needs roses cuz you f'd up the night before.... you were over zealous and bought too much duct tape for salami night an... Read Full Story

read me at www.situationpimp.blogspot.com or on www.bloggit.com let me know what you think!! i will add some of my work here (if you want me to!!) xoxo Read Full Story

Wikizines are interactive magazines that anyone can create or edit - and this one is called "situation pimp". Here you can find fresh voices and respond in real time. Some members write articles about recent news and trends related to the wikizine's topic, others recount relevant personal stories or share their favorite pictures and video clips. Got an interesting idea or story to share with other members of this wikizine? Well, then put on your journalist's cap and add yo... Read Full Story

Halloween, one of the world's oldest holidays, is still celebrated today in several countries around the globe. The autumn rite is commemorated in the United Kingdom, although with a surprising and distinctive British twist. In Mexico, Latin America, and Spain, All Souls' Day, the third day of the three-day Hallowmas observance, is the most important part of the celebration for many people. In Ireland and Canada, Halloween, which was once a frightening and superstitious time of year,... Read Full Story

GET A LOAD OF THIS CRAP-ASS ARTICLE!"Prevent Halloween PranksHow can I make my home less of a target for gags?Be friendly when you hand out candy. Place jack-o’-lanterns in windows, rather than on steps or walkways, so they can’t be kicked over or smashed. Keep exterior lights on all night. Play loud music or turn up the TV so sounds come from the house. Make sure walkways are clear and well lit. Put cars in the garage or cover them with tarp. Store trash cans inside; put away bikes, law... Read Full Story

let me be frank here - this is a little over the top even for me and my wack-ass humor, but i felt it necessary to at least mention it. i have included in today's blog, a link to a website called LIQUID ASS. yes, that IS what i said. i am not sure if am including this to encourage people to realize that as strange as it is for a 28 year old female to ask others to duct tape salami to doors, there are far MORE strange nut-jobs out there.... or because i figured a good percentage of my a... Read Full Story