Motivate THIS. (points at crotch) Nothing to see here today... ...except a custom "motivational poster" made by yours truly over at Big Huge Labs. Seriously... ...I have no idea how I made it almost 40 years without finding this thing. Here's today's poster for you: Start 'em young... ...Youporn.com takes a while to master. If you want to see all of them, click here. If you like them, feel free to post them on your site. Just give me some credit. God knows my bank won't. Moog... Read Full Story

It's another time for an exciting episode of "Dear Moog"... Where the "peanut butter on penis" trick REALLY DOES work with dogs. This has nothing to do with giving advice. I'm just throwing it out there. ********************** Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any stupid sh*t you do to yourself or others as a result of taking any of my advice seriously. There, I think that covers it. You've been warned. *********************** Today's letter comes from "Lilo," over at The Mean Girls... Read Full Story

Before I get going this morning on my Motivational Poster, there's this: I have a new movie review of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" over on Moog's Movie Reviews. For the adults in the audience, don't worry: I discuss the topic of virginity. You'll see why. On another note, someone please shoot me. Carry on. ***************** Motivate THIS. (points at crotch) Nothing to see here today... ...except a custom "motivational poster" made by yours truly over at Big Huge Labs. Seriously... Read Full Story

It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!! Someone, please…. Kill me. Today, I’m reviewing another kid’s movie: Beverly Hills Chihuahua (please see above “kill me” comment) My wife gracefully “opted out” of seeing this movie with me and the kids. When I say “opted out,” I mean “she said ‘f*ck no’.” But – the kids wanted to see it, and I like taking them to the movies so I said, “sure.” A few things to note here: 1) “Beverly Hill Chihuahua” was the NUMBER ONE movie this... Read Full Story

About an inch and a half long. No, no... It's not the measurement of my erect penis. (as I can best that measurement by AT LEAST another inch) It's the length of my new scar. My left cheek is sporting a freshly made gouge about an inch and a half long. How did it happen? I'm telling everyone that I got it during "The Eliminator" portion of "American Gladiators." This is not entirely false... ...as it DID happen during physical combat with an assailant. You know... ...if you can... Read Full Story

Motivate THIS. (points at crotch) Nothing to see here today... ...except a custom "motivational poster" made by yours truly over at Big Huge Labs. Seriously... ...I have no idea how I made it almost 40 years without finding this thing. Here's today's poster for you: I'll tell Rachael Ray you all say, "hi." If you want to see all of them, click here. If you like them, feel free to post them on your site. Just give me some credit. God knows my bank won't. Moog out.http... Read Full Story

Hold on... Just realizing that the title of this article would be a great name for a rock band. "Kick Ass Angry Clowns" I need to be in a different line of business. "Rock Band Namer Extraordinaire (Non-Premature Ejaculating Heterosexual Sexual Dynamo)" I'm SO getting business cards made today. Just a few things today: First, I have a Netflix video review of "Speed Racer" over on Moog's Movie Reviews. * *Anti-seizure medication not included. Now...onward and upward! (I say this... Read Full Story

Today I’m reviewing another movie off my Netflix list: Speed Racer I heard a LOT of nasty things about this movie…which stopped me from bringing my son to it when it was out at the theater. In retrospect, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre – the Beginning” probably wasn’t a very smart substitute. On a bright note, his nighttime screaming has recently stopped. Regardless, when Speed Racer came out on DVD, I figured I’d give it a shot and hope for the best. I have to tell you, I was surprised... Read Full Story

Be warned....LOOOONG POST. Mental Poo turned a year old on September 14th. There was a party. I didn't invite any of you, because cake is too expensive. This is directly related to the War in Iraq (where imported Chinese cake batter is painted with lead by-products derived from oil), and I didn't want to start a political discussion that didn't involve Photoshopped pictures of a nude Sarah Palin. (I'm going to get hits on this site just for typing "nude Sarah Palin") Lesbian. Bukkake... Read Full Story

Just a reminder... IRON MAN IS OUT TODAY ON DVD. Wow. Look at that. Got me a little boner. As you were.********** Also check me out at Mental Poo: http://midgetmanofsteel.blogspot.com Read Full Story