Do you ever really get over your first love?  I have to think a person never really does.  As I have written previously—my first real love was my love of the theater and that bug bit me hard and deep when I was a young girl.  So many times during my childhood, when I had very little to hang on to, what kept me going was the belief that I would one day ‘make it’ in the theater.  This last weekend, I was lucky enough to see the play  Billy Elliott, which threw me back ... Read Full Story

The purity of the fresh, white snow blanketing Cleveland belied the desperation of my own situation.  Looking out of a window in the abandoned, condemned building I had been calling home for the past few months, I could feel the bitter, biting wind from the outdoors cutting through the faulty windows in the rickety apartment—I heard the eerie whistling sound the wind made as it forced its way in through the cracks.  I pulled the scratchy but warm wool blanket closer around me, wonde... Read Full Story

Early in recovery, I was complaining about this and that (and likely everything!) to my good friend, Jim, who is also a wise Medicine Man of the Crow Tribe in Montana.  He smiled patiently while listening to me and then turned, looking me directly in the eye. “Melinda,” he said, “when you are all wrapped up in yourself, it makes for a small package.”  I sat back, surprised at his directness.  However, his point once made, I thought about that quote a lot and realized he was ri... Read Full Story

I apologize for not having a podcast this week—Les and I are currently traveling and I forgot my recording equipment at home and I have not yet found a suitable replacement on the road.  My wonderful friend, Edward Hemingway (yes of that Hemingway family) has been helping me figure out a title for my book.  For that matter, he is also doing my book cover, as he is one of the most gifted illustrators I have ever seen.   I received an email from him a couple of days ago wi... Read Full Story

Michael and I decided to take the long way around on our way from San Francisco to Cleveland, Ohio, dipping south into Los Angeles for a brief visit with the aunt and uncle who had partially raised him.  If we had not taken that particular route, it is doubtful we would have spent a minute in Amarillo, Texas and as soon as we arrived there, I sure wished we had not taken that long way to Cleveland.  Most junkies try ‘the geographical cure’ to get away from drugs at one po... Read Full Story

Les and I just returned from a visit to New York City, a place that holds so many memories for me.  Arriving at Penn Station last week, reflections of those experiences flooded my brain—some bitter, some sweet, and some a combination of the two.  I remember my first move to New York—stepping foot in the city for the first time was an exciting, red-letter day.  I’d finally arrived at the center of any hopeful young actor’s universe—and for me, all twenty-one years old; I just k... Read Full Story

I love autumn . . . love the name autumn—so why would anyone want to call it “fall?” Personally, I always preferred the term “autumn” to “fall” because ‘fall’ conjures up a negative overtone.  When has the word ‘fall’ been used in a positive manner?   There is the ‘fall of the Roman Empire,’ a person can ‘fall from grace,’ a baseball team can ‘fall’ in the standings, and all of us have ‘fallen down’ at certain embarrassing points of our lives.  In fact, I cannot think a s... Read Full Story

I apologize for there being no podcast for this short entry; I am terribly congested and find it hard to record today.  In fact, I think I have the swine flu!  At least my symptoms seem to correspond with the checklist on the CDC.  Speaking of which, the swine flu sound so disgusting, doesn't it?   It sounds a little shameful and dirty—a slovenly type of disease.  I hate being sick—and I am normally so healthy.  My mother always said I have ‘hybri... Read Full Story

  Things have been rather melancholy here around Melindaville.  I admit—I have been dark and somewhat disconsolate lately.  I’ve had a couple of experiences this summer that shook my faith in people . . . as well as my faith in my own judgment to read people.  Frankly, that’s been difficult for me.   My natural inclination—inherent in my personality, really—is to trust other people.  I am not suspicious by nature, believing what people tell me.  It’s n... Read Full Story

  It was more than a year since I’d seen Sally and Sue (of Mutants fame), who were two of my closest friends for many years.  My old friends who had been around during my theater and early punk days hardly recognized me after I’d been in the grips of heroin addiction for a few years.  We were sitting at an outdoor table at San Francisco's Mission Rock; the sun, brilliant and glittering on the beautiful bay belied the darkness of my condition. I was high--actuall... Read Full Story