mutley

This is the final post on this blog, written on behalf of Robert's children. There can be very few regular readers who did not know that the author - Robert Chambers - died on Friday 21st May 2010. After some consideration of the best way forward we have decided that this blog be left "as was" but with the comments off so that no more can be added/taken away and that the Spam bots dont get at it. If you want to discuss Rob and his writings etc there are other places you can do this both on... Read Full Story

My old friend Chris Huhne is the new Environment and Climate Change Secretary in what we will soon no doubt know as the "Government of all the talents". Much as been said about the new politics by persons far better qualified to comment than I, a humble pickle salesman and IT Specialist. However, a few words on the early life of my mate Chris may be a unique contribution to the debate. It is little known that Chris Huhne began his career in public life when he played the straight man to his... Read Full Story

I was looking forward to casting my vote tomorrow in this 'do or die' election soon! My whip thin friend Giles greeted me at the door this as I left for the pickle factory this morning, saying "Don't forget to vote tomorrow!" I thought it was kind of him and maybe he is mellowing! However when I got outside into Richard Branson Square and stepped over the malodorous remains of the nights radioactive monkey couplings I was accosted by non other than Bonita! "Vote today!" She said and I will... Read Full Story

Have you ever had one of those moments when you suddenly realised you had a fat ass? I do not mean a corpulent donkey cross-breed. Obviously. Silly to mention that as an idea. I mean a larger than average bottom. I tried today to get into last summers jeans and I am afraid to say failed by about 6 inches. In the mirror I seem o.k, but possibly I have just expanded in proportion. Then I would not notice as such. When I tried on my shoes - which I had also not worn since last summer I found... Read Full Story

I believe I may have accidentally written about my weekend more than once - so instead I am going to cover Monday! I do not want to give the impression I make up my posts. 0r worse, that I live in some kind of time anomaly. I am well aware of the inconveniences of living in anomalous chronologies. I can only say that I thought the pants would fit sweety - and I am sorry they are ripped. Did I mention I have a new car? Its in this vehicle that I now drive to work - I have to say that I was... Read Full Story

Lets face school is dull. I know I did suggest I would post everyday during the election but thats a tough idea... like going to school. But blogging is voluntary. And theres my big idea! Make school voluntary! Look teachers - all the kids would be there to learn - no more crowd control and Policing problems. Children who didn't want to go to school would be the responsibility of their parents till age 16! No worries. If children broke the law or wasted their time they could be dealt with by... Read Full Story

After popping to the company toaster for a spot of brekkie I was passing back into the corridor when I found myself rudely thrust aside by Mr Patel my former colleague knocking my 'Gooseberry Pop tart' out of my pallid fingers and onto the tartan carpet. Before I could protest the whole place was filled with bright lights and a sort of scrummage of besuited men and the odd woman as I noticed a large blue rosette on Mr. Patel's lapel and a slightly gleaming pallid young bloke grinning at me. I... Read Full Story

"Moo Moo!" ... "Moo Moo! ... Moo Moo!!" The Cow phone is ringing as I lie in bed on Sunday morning - for the second time this year and when I answer it is the familiar Scottish voice of my old friend Gordon Brown. "I need to know your opinion" it says as I struggle to pull my Jetson boxers back up (ahem).. "Should I call an election now ? What do you think?" There is a pause as I wrestle with the waist band of my cartoon inspired undies. "Of course not!" I reply "You are incredibly unpopular... Read Full Story

Geoffrey - the one headed micro "Push-Me-Pull-You" is pining for a mate. Obviously, he has a special friend in the hair brush. Which comforts him. He has me for intellectual stimulation as we often sit on one of 'mothers cushions' between the breakfast bar and the Baby Belling and talk about people like Martin Amis and Will Self all night long - or at least till The News finishes. But I know he is moping. I watched him salute the other evening when Radio Four played the National Anthem and... Read Full Story

After a bit of a night out on Thursday who should I come across than my old friend Stephen Byers plying the cabbing trade outside the Ropemakers. "At least thats an honest living !" I said "You might have ended up as a cabinet minister - what would your mother have said then?" He had to conceded I was right... Read Full Story