This makes my soul feel warm and crisp. How fantastic is this? It is like apple pie fantastic. Chudtastic!!!!! BOULDER, Colo. – Authorities say a man in Colorado apparently tried to steal an ATM by hauling it away with a truck. The plan didn’t work. The alleged attempted theft of the free-standing, outdoor ATM in Boulder set off an alarm early Wednesday morning. When police arrived they found the ATM on its side about 15 feet from its foundation outside a Chase Bank. No money had been ... Read Full Story

ROME (Reuters) – An Italian inventor has combined faith and ingenuity to come up with a way to keep church traditions alive for the faithful without the fear of contracting swine flu — an electronic holy water dispenser. The terracotta dispenser, used in the northern town of Fornaci di Briosco, functions like an automatic soap dispenser in public washrooms — a churchgoer waves his or her hand under a sensor and the machine spurts out holy water. “It has been a bit of a nov... Read Full Story

We lost my 8 year old Great Pyrenees “Patrick” yesterday to bloat and Torsion. Myself and my family are heartbroken and feel like our life is incomplete without him. We love you Patrick and miss you. Read Full Story

Collie and I were discussing some important topics last night as we drifted away on our Ambien.  We are psycho and can’t sleep, but you guys know that if you have at all read this blog, I gather.  Anyhow, we were pondering such important thoughts as, if a woman has more than one vagina, in this case, two, how many men could impregnate her simultaneously in an eight man gang bang.  Could she get pregnant more than once in one vagina like a cat?  I know they say its not possible, but I be... Read Full Story

From the God’s that bring you Always Sunny in Philadelphia….They now bring you DICK TOWEL Read Full Story

The moon rules the sixth sign of the zodiac, Cancer. I can also vouch for the fact that this heavenly body that controls the tides here on Earth is a huge contributor to our personality and the way we react to it. Our moon is our emotional side, our feelings inside in the deepest recesses of our souls. It is our gut reaction, how we proceed without even thinking about it, things rooted in habit, inborn natural instinct. Oh, and I’d just like to add that Cancer men are fucking douche... Read Full Story

This fat guy is going to have a fucking coronary, not from eating at McDonald’s with their genetically altered chicken, but freaking out because he has been waiting at a Walmart McDonald’s for so fucking long…watch and marvel in his misery!  It will be glorious, will it not? Watch the fucking video! He is our asshole of the week, congratulations, fatass, chow down wide load! Share it: Sphere: Related Content Read Full Story

Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whacks. And when she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one. I am pissed that I never got to visit the Lizzy Borden Bed and Breakfast tucked away in lovely Fall River, Massachusetts amongst all the orange guido douchebags that occasionally have to go to the batroom…(not bathroom, they have to use the batroom) and that fucking basketball museum or whatever. Anyway, Lizzy Borden scares the fucking bejesus out of me, and I... Read Full Story

Backstreet Boy Infected with that Pig Virus MAN DOWN! UPDATE: Brian just released the following video, apologizing to his fans for contracting the virus. Don’t stand too close to your monitor, he looks contagious…. I don’t care who you are, or where you’re from … you better stay away from Backstreet Boy Brian Litrell, because he’s got the Swine Flu. Sphere: Related Content Read Full Story

Top Chef behind the scenes.. All I have to say is that I knew Stephan was cool… I called it.. and Tom is awesome… F pads. My husbee found this on Redit… I will link it on the bottom, I grabbed some key points but there is so much more…. Since it’s been accepted that the Top Chef contestant IAMA was a faker, I figured I’d do this one to answer some of the TC questions that got ignored. I worked as a low level crew member for Top Chef Season 5, going on fiel... Read Full Story