recoveringengineer

If you want to become more effective as a leader, more successful in meetings, or more confident while resolving conflicts, become a better communicator. On the high end of the communication skill spectrum, you find that great leaders — like Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King, Jr — are often great communicators. On the low-end, research indicates that poor communication skills can contribute to family disputes escalating to domestic violence. (Check the discussion... Read Full Story

Have you ever read a dry, boring email, blog post, letter, or proposal?  If you have, you know how dreadfully non-persuasive they can be. You also know how easy it is to miss the message the author attempted to convey. If you want to have your message read and acted upon, here are five tips – secrets – for more persuasive writing… 1.     Write from your reader’s perspective Before you start, consider the viewpoint that your readers will likely use as they interpret what you have written... Read Full Story

Ignore these critical considerations when you write, and you could invite a communication disaster. Written messages just might be the most dangerous form of communication. There are so many ways that they can go wrong and lead to miscommunication. If you have ever written a message that someone else misunderstood, then you know what I mean. While, the general rules of effective communication apply equally to both spoken and written forms, there are some special factors to remember when... Read Full Story

The communication process really should be easy. You say something to another person. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. And, it’s not quite that easy. In reality, the process for spoken communication goes like this: You get a picture in your mind of what you want to communicate. You convert that picture into words, tone, and body language that describes the picture as you see it. The other person hears the words and notices... Read Full Story

Have you ever taken an action – either immediately or at some later time – based on what you heard someone say only to find out after you acted (or spoke) that you did not accurately understand their statement or request? So far, everyone I have asked this question in a face-to-face conversation answers pretty much the same way. In effect, they all say: “Yes, of course I have.” And, the truth is, so have I. As the Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw, said: “The single biggest problem... Read Full Story

Before you start looking for the right communication technique or words to use to convey an idea, you must consider three critical factors. They are not complicated. They are important. Failure to include them in your thinking, could lead to a failed communication. Proper consideration of these three factors coupled with understanding the underlying principles of communication and conflict resolution will lead you to successful, powerful, and effective communications. The general... Read Full Story

When you feel that you have been verbally attacked, it is incredibly difficult to think of the right words to calm the situation and disarm a verbal aggressor. Developing power phrases for use in various situations can help you get past this mental roadblock so that you can respond calmly and quickly in a wide range of situations. In working with workshop participants and coaching clients to find good ways to address specific, emotionally charged situations, I have learned three power... Read Full Story

Communication breakdowns are a common cause for conflict, and poor communication strategies can lead to rapid escalation. Likewise, effective communication strategies can help you correct these miscommunications to move conflicts quickly towards resolution. One idea that can help you choose the best communication strategy for the situation comes from what I call the communication continuum. The continuum runs from passive strategies on the left to aggressive strategies on the right. In... Read Full Story

One of the common questions I get as I lead workshops and work with my coaching clients is: How do I decide if a conflict is worth the effort to resolve? I think this is a great question. Honestly, resolving a conflict can take lots of emotional energy. While I think it is generally a good idea to work with other people to productively resolve conflicts, I recognize that you do not need to invest this energy to resolve every  conflict you might experience. Here are a few times when you... Read Full Story

Today, as I sat in an airport business lounge waiting for a flight, I overheard bits and pieces of another traveler’s conversation. I wasn’t trying to overhear. I just couldn’t help but overhear because his volume kept getting progressively louder. From what I could tell, he was engaged in a bit of a conflict conversation. I could also tell that he was making a common mistake that rarely, if ever, leads to conflict resolution and almost always leads to conflict escalation. Based on the... Read Full Story