sooze

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews . Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku . We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, here is the tentative Pittsburgh Pirates forecast. The average fan Has never heard of these guys So try to keep up Andrew McCutchen and Nate McLouth in center Michael McKenry! James McDonald and... Read Full Story

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews . Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku . We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing our preview of the National League Central, here is a sneak peak at the 2012 Chicago Cubs. It has only been One hundred and four seasons Since they won it all But Theo Epstein and company will get the Cubbies back on track At least that is what... Read Full Story

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews . Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku . We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, here is a look at the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers. We hope Ryan Braun Didn't cheat or have herpes Either would be gross Bu-bye Prince Fielder Mat Gamel will play first now He's not as chubby Oh Nyjer... Read Full Story

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews . Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku . We're just gonna go with what we know. We'll begin our previews with the reigning World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals and move right along through the National League Central. World Series Champs After improbable run Through the postseason All good things must end So goodbye Albert Pujols You... Read Full Story

We like to take long breaks from blogging just before Spring Training gets underway. Obviously. But what better way to get back into the game than waking up to hear the news of Josh Hamilton's alcohol relapse. Sadly, no whipped cream was harmed in the process. The Texas Rangers outfielder didn't come out and admit his relapse to the press, however. No, some tattle tales "familiar with the episode" felt it was their responsibility to let us all know he was drinking booze at a Dallas area bar... Read Full Story

If you're a faithful reader, you know we love us some Li'l Timmy Lincecum. And it appears that the Giants organization still does, too. They've just agreed to terms on a 2 year, $40.5 million dollar deal that will take him to the end of the 2013 season - when he is eligible for free agency. The two time Cy Young winner had the stones to ask for $21.5 million a year - which is more than ANY player with so few years under his belt has ever requested. The Giants countered with $17 million, and... Read Full Story

First and foremost, we are not happy to be back in Minnesota after a long vacation in Florida. It's disgusting here. But we missed you. Second, we'd like to ponder why on earth the Detroit Tigers would give a fatass like Prince Fielder a nine-year deal worth $214 million. Just kidding... kind of. The Tigers agreed to sign the free agent first baseman on Tuesday out of nowhere, adding some more pop to the middle of their lineup with the already hard-hitting Miguel Cabrera in there. This... Read Full Story

So the Chicago Cubs have traded Carlos Zambrano to the Miami Marlins, who once again are demanding our attention . We can't wait to see him in his new Rainbow Brite uniform. In return, the Cubbies will get right-hander Chris Volstad while also forking over $15.45 million of Zambrano's $18 million salary this season. Just let that one sink in for a minute. First off, were the Cubs seriously hating on Big Z so much that they were willing to part with him and pay the majority of his income... Read Full Story

Milwaukee Brewers All-Star first baseman Prince Fielder remains unsigned with spring training set to start in less than 2 months and it appears as if he may be forced to return to the Milwaukee Brewers for the 2012 season. While Fielder’s return would make the Brewers one of the favorites in MLB betting lines to win the National League pennant in 2012, the question does remain open as to whether or not he would have sufficient motivation after expecting the Brinks truck to arrive after his... Read Full Story

It's no secret that Fernando Rodney scares the crap out of us. In fact, we're pretty sure that he frightened the Tampa Bay Rays into giving him a one-year contract worth $2 million on Wednesday. The deal even has a club option for 2013. Hot Stove in Tampa Bay! Let's be serious here for a minute. The right-hander's 4.50 ERA with the Los Angeles Angels last season doesn't exactly scream, "show me the money." Rodney, who turns 35 in March, has seen his value sink drastically over the past... Read Full Story