Positive Discipline Doesn’t Have to Hurt

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It never ceases to amaze me how children will always find a way to push our buttons and send us into a rage.

It’s so easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused or hurt and it’s at times like this when our parenting skills are really tested.

But it’s imperative we maintain a kind though firm stance when it comes to doling out any discipline – positive discipline doesn’t have to hurt to be effective!

Let’s be honest, no one wants to hurt their child with physical or verbal abuse, after all, we’d rather teach our child that both physical and verbal abuse are wrong. So, punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting would just be hypocritical of us.

When we discipline children, our goal should be to teach them how to be responsible, co-operative, kind and respectful towards others. The best way to achieving this is to be consistent; always follow through with the same punishment for the same wrong-doing, and don’t be afraid to discuss with your child the discipline techniques you have used and why.

Positive parenting requires that we keep in mind the age, level of maturity, and temperament of our child in order to establish effective discipline.

How you go about disciplining children should be discussed with them and understood in advance so that they know what’s coming whenever they’ve misbehaved. This should give them pause and choose an appropriate route to avoid it.

Most importantly, always remember that it’s not your child that you dislike but what they’ve done.

It’s okay to give yourself a brief ‘time out’ before responding with appropriate discipline. By giving ourselves a short cooling off period before dealing with our children’s misdeeds we avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option.

As a parent try and always keep an open mind. Be willing to learn both with and from your child.

We all can and do make mistakes – don’t get annoyed if one or more of your discipline techniques fail to achieve the desired result; it’s important to realise that not every form of discipline works with every child.

Children are just as unique as adults, and discipline techniques should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, behaviour management, which is all that discipline is, can have a positive outcome for all involved.

Remember – effective discipline is discipline without punishment of the physical or verbal kind!

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