The Final Performance of Rent

The final performance of Rent was September 7th, 2008.

I remembered this in a panic on September 5th, and tried desperately to get a last minute ticket, tried to rush the lottery, tried to figure out a way I could see it one more time. I cursed myself for forgetting that date. I had dismissed it so casually all summer, thinking, there was plenty of time to see it one more time.

And then there wasn’t- and I just had to accept it, and move on. Maybe it was better this way. I saw it in February, confident that it wasn’t my last time- that there would be others, and it calmed me to think so. I don’t know if I could have made it through a live performance, knowing that I had, indeed, reached the end.

 I know this sounds melodramatic. I know.  I’m reading this back to myself, and all I can say is that I can’t help it. I can’t quite moderate my feelings about Rent. Believe me- I’m having a hard enough time writing this without getting weepy.

Mock me if you will- don’t think it hasn’t been done before, and often.   I know that not everyone feels this way about the show. But those of you who do- … well, you get it.

I’ve seen Rent 20 times. This is actually quite an unremarkable sum. I’ve met people who were well into triple digits- and that was ten years ago. Can you imagine? 20 times? I’m hardly a true fan. A true fan wouldn’t have forgotten about September 7th.

I never saw the original cast. I came to Rent a little later on- in my last year of college, when I became a fan of the Angel Cast- one of the traveling casts- and I followed it up and down the East Coast- sleeping overnight on city streets to form the $20 rush line. I’ve slept near rats, and homeless men; I’ve slept through jackhammers three feet from my head, and then gone to brush the cement dust off in the McDonald’s restroom before the matinee show. Strangely enough- I think all of these things happened in Baltimore.

I know some of my readers were with me on those crazy trips. Amazing times!

When I moved to New York, I was elated to find that many of my favorite cast members had joined the Broadway Cast- like Trey Ellett- one of the greatest Marks- forgive me, Anthony Rapp.  (Trey! where are you now?)

and some even went on to greater fame, like Jai Rodriguez, from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. 

And then…. there was a long stretch when I didn’t go to see Rent.

They started casting N’Sync and American Idol rejects in the show, presumably to boost ticket sales– but this directly contradicted the entire point of the show. And if I had to see Joey Fat-one singing about not selling out and maintaining artistic integrity in the face of commercial exploitation, I thought I might vomit.

 And now, inexplicably, it is actually over.

Even though I couldn’t be present at the final performance, I had one saving grace- the September 7th show was filmed to be shown in movie theaters this week.

I went on Wednesday, alone. I wore a hat, brought tissues, and even sat in that one seat all by itself usually reserved for parties with a wheelchair.

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I wept from beginning to end. I cried through the entire. show. I couldn’t stop! I’m not talking about tears bravely streaming out of the corners of my eyes. I mean, full body-wrenching sobs. Good grief.

The show was…. exquisite- and aside from some creative camera angles and occasional fast cut editing, (why do they do that? why?) the filming wasn’t too obtrusive.

Performances were, on the whole, extremely satisfying.  Eden Espinosa played Maureen- she’s phenomenal!She’s previously filled another Idina Menzel created role- the lead in Wicked. I’d love to get the two of them on a stage together sometime. Also- Tracie Thoms starred as Joanne. I love her! Not only was she great in the Rent movie, she’s fantastic in Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof.

At the final curtain call when Mark usually bursts through the center door at the back- it was Anthony Rapp- and a lot of the original cast members came out on stage, which was really special-where they were joined by the current cast for a reprise of Seasons of Love- which is all over youtube and I’ve posted it for you here:

So why the tears?

Everything I try to write in response to that question sounds like some kind of Inspirational Lifetime Hallmark cliche. I don’t know.

just that-

I saw the show ten years ago, and it changed my life. I know it by heart. Except for one time, I’ve only ever seen it from the first or second rows- and when you do that- you have such an intimate connection with the performers- they look at you, make eye contact with you. You see them exchange hidden glances with each other- you can see their sweat, their spit, their mistakes, and their effort.

I think the story is beautiful, and heartbreaking. and, twelve years later- amidst the anachronistic details of answering machines and AZT, still progressive. The sexiest scene isn’t between Roger and Mimi- it’s always stolen by Maureen and Joanne’s “Take Me or Leave Me.” And “I’ll Cover You” is painfully lovely,still to this day- especially the reprise by Collins.

The messages of the show- Forget Regret, No Day But Today, etc….they are simple, and compelling. The reminder of how incredibly transient our time is- this “rented world” of ours –stirs in me a remembrance of just how much time has in fact passed since I first felt that rush of infatuation with the show.

That feeling is precious to me, and I will miss being able to go see Rent and connect all over again with the words that once inspired me.

Rent, you will be missed.