The Lost Vest Odyssey

The day started like any other day in the Super Mega Household: a nightmare-scared toddler that slept in the "big bed" with mommy and daddy all night while kicking me and sleeping on top of me, kids that wouldn't get up when told to get up, toddler crying all the way to daycare, coworkers complaining that stuff doesn't work via email.  But this normal morning hid a secret.  I secret so hideous and time consuming, it would shake Super Mega Dad to the core.

We shall start the story where Super Michael decided to wear his red Cars vest to school because it's "cool".  Generally, not a problem.  It was slightly chilly this morning with a slight fog hanging over the landscape, so it figured into the equation and it was enough to keep the chill off. 

I scoot the kids off to the car for our trek around the valley to the different schools and office and notice that we were only a couple of minutes behind.  Not bad, I think to myself, this is a rare treat being "almost" on time to school.  Just as I'm buckling Princess K into her car seat, she proceeds to inform me that she has a Poppy pull-up (YES, I'm STILL fighting her on potty training, but that's a story for ANOTHER day).  We run into the house, change out the stink pants and are off within five more minutes.

The rest of the trip to Super Michael's school and across the Valley to Princess K's daycare, Princess K cries in her shrill little toddler girl voice that is specially designed to pierce ear drums that she does NOT want to go to "baby school" and wants to stay home with daddy.  She tries different tactics while driving over to school, including trying to get me to take her to the park we passed, take her to my office that we passed, take her to the donut store we passed, and take her to mommy's work.  None of these worked and eventually we pulled into daycare.  After the teachers pried her off of me, I headed off to the office.

Meanwhile, at Super Michael's school, he was about to head off to the "multi-purpose room" to practice the "Little Read Hen" play which they have been practicing for what seems like MONTHS.  Note: he was still wearing that very same red Cars vest that he came to school in, but as the play progressed, and as he spent time under the hot, hot fluorescent lights we place in schools these days, he took the vest off and (from what I've been able to piece together from varied reports) handed the vest off to his teacher to hold.  Now, we all know that Mrs. H. is da bomb when it comes to being a first grade teacher, but what we didn't know about her was her ability to lose track of Red Cars Vests!  At some point during the practice round, the Red Cars Vest must have leapt from her hands and hid itself deep in the recesses of the multi-purpose room. 

We don't really know if the Red Cars Vest just up and decided to cavort with other nasty jacket, sweater, and vests on it's own accord, of if some terrible jacket and sweater gang that roams the multi-purpose room swiped it while Mrs. H. had her back turned, but we can only speculate at this point.

And OF COURSE, Super Michael was completely and utterly oblivious to the whole situation.

Finally, upon coming and picking up Super Michael after school and making sure he had everything, I noticed that he was missing his Red Cars Vest.  I questioned him on it's possible whereabouts and received the normal and very frustrating "I don't know" answer.  He was gently instructed to go back in and check his classroom for the vest and by this time he remembered that he had given it to his teacher to hold during the play, but failed to ask for it back after the play.

After asking the teacher about the possible location of the missing vest, he was instructed that the vest was possibly in the multi-purpose room's lost and found and that the multi-purpose room should be open.  After trekking across campus to the multi-purpose room to search for the missing vest, we find that the doors are totally and utterly locked.  Kicking the doors, we turn around and chat about our next course of action. "Are you SURE your teacher said the multi-purpose room?", I ask Super Michael.

"I think.", Super Michael guesses.

"What about the office?  Would the lost and found possibly be in the office?", I inquire, grasping at straws.

"Maybe.", is the unsatisfying answer from my oblivious kid.

So, we turn toward the school office to ask about our vest.  Unfortunately, the school office does not contain the lost and found, but it IS definitely in the multi-purpose room!  Ah-ha!  At least we now know for sure the location of the lost and found!  File this little piece of information for future reference because I have a feeling that Super Michael and the lost and found will get to know each other really well.

I ask what the probability is of getting into the multi-purpose room to search through the lost and found and am told that I need to talk to Miss Something Or Other, you can talk to her over at some place.  I ask Super Michael if he knows who this is and if he knows where she is and he responds with "Yep!".

We exit the office with high hopes and with a name to track down.  I ask Super Michael to please point us in the right direction to talk to Miss Something and he responds with "Who?". 

"Miss Something.  Remember, I just asked you if you knew who that was and where you could find her and you said, Yep, you knew her?"

"Oh, no, I don't know her. What does she look like?"

So, with my head now downcast, I head in the general direction of where I think Miss Something should be.  We get there, and I start asking people that look like they know what they are doing if they know Miss Something.  I finally find a person that knows Miss Something, but asks me what I need her for and I explain our situation.  She tells me, "Oh no, you don't need Miss Something, you need Miss Toni.  She's over by the busses."

Again, probably not very brightly, I ask Super Michael if he knows Miss Toni and where the busses are. "Oh yeah, I know Miss Toni.  She hangs out by the busses!".  All right, I think to myself, he sounds much more confidant this time.  This might be the ticket!

We start walking away and I ask him, "Where are the busses at?"

"I don't know.", is the answer I probably should have known was coming.

"I thought you said you knew where they were.  What about Miss Toni.  Do you know who she is?", I ask.

"No, what does she look like?", I get in response.

By now, I'm thinking, should I just give up and return to the office.  We've already spent a good 15 minutes searching for this thing.  We have plenty of other jackets.  But, by now, it's just the principal of the matter.  I WAS going to find that jacket, and I WAS going to find Miss Toni, whoever she was, and I was going to find the busses, wherever they were.

I start asking around at the campus and am slowly making my way to the possible location of the busses.  We turn a corner, and sure enough, the yellow Twinkie were parked right in front of us across the field!  We made it!

We walk over to the busses and I start asking for Miss Toni and sure enough, there she is!  And she even has the keys to the multi-purpose room.  Right then and there, Miss Toni became my new best friend.  I even waited patiently for her as all the kids loaded onto the bus and chatted with her about forgetful, oblivious kids.

Eventually, all the kids filtered down to the bus, and she was able to lead us back to the multi-purpose room.  She even told me that she saw that particular vest and couldn't understand why some kid would just leave it there because it was so nice and cute (as I glared at Super Michael).

As we're walking over to the multi-purpose room, and an area we had already passed, I noticed something red out of the corner of my eye just laying on the ground.  Could it be?  We get closer to it, and sure enough, it was the Red Cars Vest!  It was a couple of buildings over from the multi-purpose room and it looked like it had been through a drunken frat party and had a really rough morning, but it was still in tact and was definitely Super Michael's Red Cars Vest!

We sat there and wondered how it could have made it's way from the multi-purpose room to that location and what wild adventures it had in the meantime.  We still wonder if it fell into the wrong crowd, or was coerced into some sort of evil jacket gang.  We may never know.

So, the moral of the story?  Always write your kids names in their stuff!