Report by Felix Masterson, WA Chapter Fresh off the heels of his successful Kama Sutra for the Obese, Senator Jim Webb (D-VA) is set to release his second sex-help book, this time focusing on snack cake copulation. The self-described “self-taught sexpert” Webb was not surprised by the reception his first Kama Sutra book enjoyed. “Everybody likes sex, but not everyone can enjoy the tawdry positions described in the original Kama Sutra. Let’s face it, not everyone is a skinny Indian.” Whi... Read Full Story
Report by Gino Rossi, CA Chapter While many Americans are feeling the crunch of the recession, adult film stars are being double teamed by the economy and foreign competition. In a time when entertainment dollars are scarce, US consumers are spending less on quality American pornography. This trend has forced smut producers to outsource, using foreign actors for jobs, hand and otherwise, formerly performed by domestic entertainers. Oftentimes, entire scenes and particular types of shots a... Read Full Story
Report by Annette Ferguson, IN Chapter Touted as a “bi-cameral” effort to reduce the burden placed on working Americans by the elderly, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) proposed Tuesday to implement a nationwide campaign to encourage suicide amongst the senior citizen community. Pelosi addressed concerns over the plan by citing data that indicates the cost of caring for the elderly could reach four billion dollars annually by 2050. “Betw... Read Full Story
Report by Stacie Long, NJ Chapter For months now, President Barack Obama has displayed the vigor and energy of a high school football star on prom night. Obama has appeared limitless in his first six months at the American helm, utilizing a sympathetic Democratic Congress to maximize progress on a Socialist agenda. Obama’s success has been so widespread that rumors of meth use have been proffered as the only explanation for his ability to get so much done. In response to the whispers of d... Read Full Story
Report by Janet Pennington-Davis, NY Chapter President Barack Obama, who recently credited himself for “pulling our economy back from the brink” went on national television last week to plug a nationalized healthcare bill which many are calling ObamaCare. Though neither the President nor any member of Congress have yet read the massive bill, Obama and key Democrats in both Houses are pushing passage of the bill before the American public has an opportunity to find out what is actually inclu... Read Full Story
Report by Sean Jensen, CT Chapter Rich White Democrats across the country are bewildered, distraught, and even angry today upon learning from TMZ.com that President Barack Obama is actually White. The Internet media outlet TMZ.com released shocking pictures this morning of Barack Obama frolicking on a beach with a portion of his lily white ass exposed. The pictures, which TMZ has reportedly been in possession of for nearly a year, were released after Obama FCC appointee Michael Copps‘s rec... Read Full Story
Featured Content by Thaddeus Stanley, Senior Publications Officer The Army of Epiphenomenon was started in 1980 by a group of young, militant nogoodniks. The youths, having become disillusioned by the educational system that the government was providing “free of charge,” left high school and their small rural town in Southwestern Utah to search the hills surrounding Parowan, Utah for a militia to join. The area they chose seemed to be the ideal place to find a band of camouflage clad, gun to... Read Full Story
Report by Antonio Soto, TX Chapter [Editor’s Note: In an effort to abide by newly appointed Blogosphere Czar, Perez Hilton’s recent mandate that any blog articles that might be construed as “hate speech, such as racist, homophobic, and/or psuedo-puritanical Conservative bull[crap] must include an opportunity for response by an individual who voted for and supports the heroic efforts of President Barack Obama,” the AoE invited comedian and liberal political activist Janeane Garofalo to provid... Read Full Story
Announcement by Dixie Larkin, AoE Founding Member Attention Cadets! The Order of the Epiphenomenon (OOTE), the exclusive secret society of the Army of Epiphenomenon, is opening its private doors to 250 new recruits this year to celebrate 10 years since the inception of the OOTE. This is an excellent opportunity for AoE members to ante up and join the select few who have dedicated their lives to upholding freedom and liberty by exposing and otherwise fighting the tyranny wrought by the evil... Read Full Story
Report by Gregg Childress, CO Chapter Each year millions of Americans take to the great outdoors to enjoy a weekend of camping with friends and family. In the past, those millions of Americans have been almost exclusively White. President Obama, in a speech announcing the assent of former White House correspondent Helen Thomas to the newly created post of Camping Czar, said, “In this exciting new era of change, we must change how we view camping, and encourage people of all colors and cree... Read Full Story
