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Report by Avis Jorgeson, CA Chapter The White House has undergone many aesthetic changes over the years.  Each new First Family brings its own sense of style and preferences.  First Ladies bring their own sense of fashion to the living areas, while the President chooses furnishings for the Oval Office.  Among the controversial changes made by President Obama was replacing a portrait of Abraham Lincoln in the Oval Office with an artist’s rendering of Obama’s political hero, Adolf Hitlter... Read Full Story

Special Report by Dixie Larkin, AOE Founding Member Not since the debate over slavery has an issue so bitterly divided this nation.  This time around, the Federal Government seems to be set on making slaves of citizens rather than setting slaves free, according to State lawmakers across the heartland.  A Coalition of Conservative States made primarily up of 31 traditionally red states (see map and Alaska) have voiced their intention of severing ties with DC if the pending Health Care... Read Full Story

Report by Stan Woodhouse, OR Chapter The White House today revealed their suspicions about why the Healthcare Bill seems to be stagnating in Congress.  In a statement by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs this morning, Satan was blamed “after all other possible causes had been eliminated.”  Said Gibbs, “There is no other logical explanation why this universally supported piece of legislation has been held up in Congress.” Suspicions about Satan’s interference with the Healthcare Bill... Read Full Story

Sponsored Informational Bulletin by Milton Bradshaw, CT Chapter Do you have a hard time getting off the couch?  Does the thought of climbing stairs terrify you?  Do you snack between snacks?  Are you one of those people who drive across the street to go to through the McDonalds drive-thru rather than walk your big lethargic backside 200 yards across the road?  If you answered in the affirmative to any of these questions, you may suffer from Chronic Fat Ass. I used to think I was just always... Read Full Story

Report by Dexter Haines, MN Chapter In a surprise turn of events Wednesday, Golf Superstar Tiger Woods announced that he would seek the Senate seat of retiring U.S Senator Mel Martinez.  The election to replace the one-term Senator from Florida currently has Gov. Charlie Crist leading in the Republican primary and he seems to be a shoe in over the lagging Democrat contenders.  Woods believes he can add a little oil to the fire and heat up the contest.  “I’ve got something that at least half... Read Full Story

Report by Bub Johanson, FL Chapter Former Vice President and self-styled environmental activist Al Gore attended a recent climate change conference in Copenhagen where he rebutted reports of fraud and data manipulation amongst global warming scientists.  Gore, whose own film, An Inconvenient Truth, has been the target of controversy in European Courts because of inaccuracies and exaggerations in the documentary, announced that “global warming is too important an issue to be hemmed in by truth... Read Full Story

Report by Harrison Davies, SC Chapter House and Senate Democrats proposed a plan last week that would allow the government to go into as much as $14 trillion in debt.  The plan would permit our government to spend the money that they already spent this year on such failed schemes as TARP, Cash for Clunkers, and the so-called Economic Recovery Act.  When asked if any thought was given to borrowing and spending money that Federal Law forbade them to spend prior to enacting new increased debt... Read Full Story

Report by Leon Atherton, UT Chapter Department of Education Secretary Arne Duncan announced Monday that a new course will be offered at all schools across America, including home schools, effective fall of 2010.  The Federal mandate, or “initiative” as it is being called by Duncan will “tackle the new issues faced by our evolving society.”  Although the United Educators Association (UEA) support the mandate, many educators, including homeschooling families, claim a strong liberal bias... Read Full Story

Report by Felix Masterson, WA Chapter Fresh off the heels of his successful Kama Sutra for the Obese , Senator Jim Webb  (D-VA) is set to release his second sex-help book, this time focusing on snack cake copulation.  The self-described “self-taught sexpert” Webb was not surprised by the reception his first Kama Sutra book enjoyed.  “Everybody likes sex, but not everyone can enjoy the tawdry positions described in the original Kama Sutra.  Let’s face it, not everyone is a skinny Indian... Read Full Story

Report by Gino Rossi, CA Chapter While many Americans are feeling the crunch of the recession, adult film stars are being double teamed by the economy and foreign competition.  In a time when entertainment dollars are scarce, US consumers are spending less on quality American pornography.  This trend has forced smut producers to outsource, using foreign actors for jobs, hand and otherwise, formerly performed by domestic entertainers.  Oftentimes, entire scenes and particular types of shots... Read Full Story