If we keep on allowing the Sales Department chicks to discount the damm food all the time!I needed to get that off my chest...The banquet manager feels better already. Read Full Story

I was visiting a friend last week and we decided to go out to eat at a Chili's for dinner (I know, bad choice). The hostess greeted us and escorted us to our table, and then it happened.She preceded to hand us our menus and run through the daily specials so fast my head was spinning. She was spouting this stuff while I was still lowering my butt into the chair.Who could hear this crap let alone understand it? Then she said “Bambi will be your waitress and she’ll be right over”. Then she r... Read Full Story

In this economy, restaurants are constantly searching for ways to get customers in the door...but this is some stupid shit!One NYC establishment has found a unique gimmick. They serve wine by the bottle. Not the kind you're thinking of, but in glass baby bottles. Follow the candlelit path from Prince Street to the under underground French restaurant, "Le Cave Des Foundus". It's small and and cozy with long communal tables. Most patron start with Le Cave's famous fondue. And the wine comes ou... Read Full Story

It’s the end of my night. The banquet manager is going home. I turn off all the lights in each meeting room as I do my final walk through. Air conditioners off, check. Store rooms locked, check. Computer turned off, check. It’s around 12:30am and finally it’s time to leave.As I stop in the bar to get a cup of water for the trip home, I come face-to-face with a Room Service waiter that is helping himself to a Grey Goose and tonic in a plastic cup.He looks me in the eye…I can smell the fe... Read Full Story

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.""What ?" said the puzzled groom."How can that be if you've been married ten times?""Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me."Hu... Read Full Story

How damm hard can it be to order a few dozen Danish and muffins everyday? Not too hard I guess. My one-eyed half-bald cat that shits himself twice a week can probably do it. But Noooooo, the kitchen apparently can’t.Whether it’s the chef, or the dumb-ass purchasing chick (yes, we have a chick in Purchasing – why I don’t know), either way - they forget to order fresh bakery items at least once every two weeks.We do breakfast for 6-7 groups everyday that average around 500 people plus the r... Read Full Story

Buenos Aires boasts impressive waiters, whose minds are worth studying, according to the paper Strategies of Buenos Aires Waiters to Enhance Memory Capacity in a Real-Life Setting, published in the journal Behavioural Neurology."Typical Buenos Aires senior waiters memorise all orders from clients and take the orders, without written support, of as many as 10 persons per table. They also deliver the order to each and every one of the customers who ordered it without asking or checking."And mos... Read Full Story

All the restaurant waiters hanging-out in the manager's office and cackling like worn-out chickens at the end of their shift. One bitching about the busser, one bitching about her low tips and another just bitching.---Just stop 'yer bitching and go home already!Two housekeepers taking their 400th smoking break near the loading dock.---Lazy asses, get back to work!One waitress sitting on top of the kitchen counter with 1 shoe & sock off and picking something out of her toes.---You dirty bi... Read Full Story

I don't care if your relative from the f'in south of France came over unexpectedly and you needed the day off, you can't just switch your shift with another waiter...especially without telling me. (By the way, who the hell comes over "unexpectedly from France" anyway?).When I do my schedule it's a work of art. I plan my staff based on not only seniority but by their ability. Some waiters are better at setting up buffets, some at plated meals, some are weaker servers but are very good with the... Read Full Story

Read all about it...So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager is now on Facebook...Only one problem...what the hell do I do with this thing?Is it a web site? Is it am email thing? Or just a place to eavesdrop on what other people are posting? Beats the hell out of me.How do I tweet with this thing, I don't know? I think I have the basics of this blog down but now with Facebook, I haven't the foggiest idea of what to do with it. Can I make any $$ with this bugger?All I know is this...I got my f... Read Full Story