Pimps and Hos

After a few anonymous death threats this week, I received an email message today that revealed the identity of Tawny the Temp's pimp. Well, sort of.

I told Chelsea the Intern what happened when I went out with Tawny the Temp last week. She gave me that I told your ass so look, but didn't gloat about it because she was too infuriated for being right about that bitch. She wanted to take quick action against the temp to remedy the situation.

"I know a guy," she said.

"Okay, I don't want to know about a guy you know who could remedy the situation. Besides, there's another player who might know a guy too."

I told her about the anonymous pimp and the death threats because I didn't pay.

"You didn't pay?" she said. "You have to pay."

"Are you defending her?" 

"No, I'm defending the profession. There are ethics to consider, you know."

"Ethics with prostitution?" I asked.

"That's right."

"Well, she should have disclosed before we did it. Aren't there any ethics about that?"

"She didn't disclose?" she asked, again surprised. "Oh, then you're okay. You negotiate up front. If she didn't do that, you have a solid case."

Somehow, I didn't think this would be going to court. 

Chelsea the Intern did some recognizance, but didn't uncover much. She ran into Tawny the Temp several times during the week, gave her the death stare, but just got it right back. Enemies for life.

The best thing to do in a situation like this is to get the bitch fired. But until I unveil the anonymous pimp...

Late in the day today the pimp was revealed via email:

Jason:

I hate to be a hard ass about this, but business is business. You owe my girl $250 for the other night. If you don't pay, I'll deduct it from your paycheck.

Oh, and I'll also have to remove your left testicle.  

Cheers,

Smithee

Well, there you have it. Or not. 

This came from Smithee's email. Either I am insane and Smithee does exist or... I am insane and I'm sending messages to myself as Smithee.

I think I need to go into hiding.