Courtesy ComedyCentral/Jokes.com Network A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied,"Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY."The mother replied... Read Full Story
comedy-zone.net Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there... Read Full Story
In an effort to determine the best fighting agency in the world, the field was narrowed to three finalists, the CIA, Al Qaeda, and the Russian Secret Service. The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest. The CIA went into the forest. They placed informants throughout. They placed bugs and wiretaps on trees. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist. Al Qaeda went into the forest... Read Full Story
Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were all excited and talking effusively as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, "You men Harvard graduates?" "Yes Sir! Class of '08!" they answered proudly. The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of '72!" Read Full Story
A professor was grading the essay finals he had just given his class and opened the exam book of a failing student to reveal blank pages and a $100 bill. The only thing written in the book was "$100 = 100% - I get an A." A month later, the student approached the professor. "I don't understand," he said. "I failed the course. Didn't you read my final?" The professor handed the student the exam book. The student opened it to reveal $50 and the phrase "$50 = 50% - You fail... Read Full Story
Some Useful Phrases if You're Stuck In an Arab Country • "Kbar Khali-Kili Haftir Lotfan."Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun. • "Khrel, Jepaheh Maneh Va Jayeii Amrikahey" I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies travelling as reporters. • "Tikeh Nuneh Ba Ob Khrelleh Bezorg Va Khube Boyast Ino Begeram" The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe. • "Ekr Gabul Cardan Davat Parh Gush Divar"I am delighted to accept your kind... Read Full Story
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Australian on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." When the... Read Full Story
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber-optic... Read Full Story
