According to a London newspaper, a certain private school in Mill Hill, London, was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 11 year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the girls’ toilets. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the cleaner would have to spend a large amount of time scrubbing them off the glass and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the headmistress decided that something had to be done. She called ...
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A Brazilian bricklayer has amazed his family and friends by turning up to his own funeral. Ademir Goncalves (59) had been identified as the victim of a horrific car crash on Sunday. They had had some difficulty identifying the corpse as it was badly disfigured in the crash. Unfortunately Mr Goncalves had spent the night with his friends drinking a rum-like liquor known as “pinga” and did not find out about the funeral until it was already happening on Monday morning. There wasn’t much else he could do but go to the funeral to put everyone straight. I hope his family gave him a ...
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Many people dream of being able to make decent money from posting their articles on the Internet. Many try and, sadly, many fail, but some do make a good living from it. Whilst it is difficult to achieve it really possible so I’m going to let you know how to do it. First of all you need a plan, but luckily for you I’m going to provide that for you. Here is my Eight Point Plan for Success: Write an article on a popular subject, paying careful attention to spelling and grammar. Pick something that a lot of people are interested in but few ...
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As an Irish bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the JCB and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologised to the workers ...
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After London’s International Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided it would be fun to hit a pub in the City and go out for a beer. The first sits down and says: “Hey, Señor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The second says: “I’d like the best beer in the world. Give me ‘The King of Beers.’ One Budweiser please.” The bartender gives him one. Another guy says: “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water; give me a Coors.” The bartender gives ...
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