Caught Speeding

An elderly lady gets pulled over for speeding. The Police officer gets out of his car and approaches her window.

She winds down her window, “Is there a problem, Officer?”

“Yes, ma’am, you were exceeding the speed limit.”

“Oh, I see.” she replies dismayed.

“Can I see your license please?” asks the officer.

She replies “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”

“Don’t have one?” he queries, sounding a little surprised.

The woman continues, “Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.”

“I see…Can I see your vehicle registration document please.”

“I can’t do that.” she replies.

“And why not?” he asks.

“Because I stole this car.” she replies.

“Stole it? How exactly did you do that.”

“Well I killed and hacked up the owner, then I took his keys and stole the car.”

“You what?!”

“His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.”

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. The senior officer slowly cautiously approaches the car.

“Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!” he orders.

The woman immediately steps out of her car, “Is there a problem sir?”

“One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”

“Murdered the owner!” she gasped.

“Yes, now could you please open the boot of your car.”

The woman opens the bootlid, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

“Is this your car, ma’am?”

“Yes, of course. Do you want to see my registration document?”

The senior officer is quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out her purse. She opens it, pulls out her licence and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

“Thank you madam, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.”

“I bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.” chuckled the woman.