David Caruso - Articles - Zimbio

A Little CSI: Miami Madness for the Weekend

Thu, 25 Jul 2008 19:11:58 GMT

posted by mokelly

Mo'Kelly is largely a fan of "original" television programs. The original Law & Order. The original CSI, the original Flavor of Love. Their spin-offs usually are enjoyable in their own right but often fail to evoke the same level of appreciation from Mo'Kelly.

Take CSI: Miami for example. It's a horrible show. It just is. Don't care what the ratings say, don't care what network PR people say. It's a horrible show.

But it's HILARIOUS! HEE-LARRY-US!

The melodramatic, over-the-top, cliche delivery of lead actor David Caruso is simply too hilarious for words. It's SO bad...it becomes funny after awhile. And after so many seasons, it seems the writers (and Caruso) are INTENTIONALLY trying to be melodramatic and over-the-top.

Mo'Kelly's not alone in his opinion. A signature of the show CSI: Miami is that Caruso comes across the random dead person for that particular episode, utters a horrible one-liner while cocking his head to the side and putting on his sunglasses...even if he's indoors.

This youtube compilation video of Caruso's one-liners below PERFECTLY captures the essence of the horrid nature of this show. And its horrid nature is why Mo'Kelly just can't stop watching it...ashamed to say. It's like a train wreck...no matter how grisly the carnage is...just can't turn away.

(Please visit www.mokellyreport.blogspot.com for this and other media. Not available in the email blast or feedreader versions)

The running joke of David Caruso has become so rampant, that it's become fodder for late night comedy. Check out Jim Carrey's spot-on rendition of Caruso. (Note, you HAVE to watch the one-liner compilation video above to fully appreciate Carrey's bit in the video below.)

Have a great weekend everyone. Mo'Kelly's hosting a fight party (Antonio Margarito V. Miguel Cotto) but will be back here on Sunday evening with commentary on the 'other' battle, Terrence Howard V. Bill Cosby.

It's getting ready to get hot up in here...you can best be sure.

The Mo'Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse...as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.mokellyreport.blogspot.com.

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Morris W. O'Kelly can be reached at mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.

David Caruso: CEO of "A Triple Threat"!

Thu, 25 Jul 2008 05:05:00 GMT

posted by dojo

“David likes to associate ourselves and define ourselves as the Dreamworks of digital media. Now that’s a pretty bold statement, but he’s a big Hollywood star, so he can say that,” Frank said. “Nils calls us the perfect storm. I call us a triple threat.”

So says Frank Nein, SVP of Lexicon Digital Communications, the recently launched streaming media corporation.

The linked article appeared in The Villages Daily Sun in Central Florida, the home of Frank Nein's mother, Betsy. She and son, Frank, discussed with reporter Rachel Katz the new company co-founded by Frank and partners, David Caruso and Nils Lahr.

A well written article for your early weekend enjoyment.

http://www.thevillagesdailysun.com/articles/2008/07/24/villages/villages01.txt

David Caruso: Grissom Sabotaged by HeidiHo!

Thu, 25 Jul 2008 02:22:00 GMT

posted by dojo

This is a TV Guide thread title "Grissom Leaving CSI" which appeared today on that site. Note the comments, each from Horatiolover, aka HeidiHo Schnitzer, David Caruso's felony stalker, with a response from a Caruso supporter. While the blogger who originated the piece is obviously a CSI fan, his/her thread has been sabotaged by The David Caruso Mass Manipulator. The punch line, provided by Katie Lynn, is the last comment. Worth the Read.

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GRISSOM IS LEAVING:
"I'll miss Grissom, he is the anchor of CSI, however, maybe it's time for him to explore other interests; he would be a wonder teacher, maybe do research such as why the bees are dying and yes, travel to those places he has mentioned (and with Sara--yes I'm a GSR supporter). Grissom had told Sara to basically get a life outside of work, Grissom should, too. It would not be unreasonable that Grissom could be called in on special cases in the future.As foe Mr. Peterson, GOOD FOR HIM to take toe opportunity to work on other projects maybe follow his passion for theatre. From my understanding, dramatic series requires very long hours and lots of pressure; Mr. Peterson could benefit from a change." Posted by HENRYPATTY. Jul 24, 2008 12:31 PM
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It is sad to see him leave. He is such a great talent. Now, if David Caruso would leave, that would be a happy occassion. Nobody would miss HIM. Posted by horatiolover. Jul 24, 2008 3:05 PM
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H'Lover--since you are extremely biased (!!) regarding David Caruso--speak for yourself and not others. Posted by EmilyDu. Jul 24, 2008 4:28 PM

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Well, fact is Petersen is a way BETTER ACTOR than Caruso. Millions of people are sad to see him go. Would caruso quit I doubt more than a handful of people would miss him. Posted by horatiolover. Jul 24, 2008 4:58 PM
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Emily, You know she'll turn this into a "hate Caruso" thread rather than the "Grissom leaving" thread, with no consideration for anyone else. Don't let her do it.Grissom will be back from time to time, no problem. I'm anxious to see who his replacement will be. I know Malkevich turned down the role. Haven't heard about Fishburne (who would be great) or any others.
Posted by dojo. Jul 24, 2008 5:23 PM

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William Petersen will always be a way better actor than Caruso. He upstages David Caruso by far. Anyway, I neither see Malkovich nor Fishburn as a good replacment. Why not giving the job to a woman for a change?One thing is for sure - William Petersen will leave a HUGE VOID to fill.
Posted by horatiolover. Jul 24, 2008 5:36 PM
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"One thing is for sure - William Petersen will leave a HUGE VOID to fill." So will you when you're gone, which just proves a void is not always a bad thing. Posted by katie lynn. Jul 24, 2008 7:35 PM

David Caruso: $$$ and IM's!

Wed, 24 Jul 2008 21:52:00 GMT

posted by dojo

HeidiHo has been doing her best to earn funds, while at the same time redefining the term "Instant Messaging". While we'd all love to see her return to Austria and face her accusers. she'll no doubt have to rely on Chris, her family or another rag sheet with promises unfulfilled.

We spent a few minutes on Vipix today. They may as well have been speaking a foregin language for the sense we could discern from any of it. Apparently someone (?) is offering money for a recent photo of Heidi Schnitzer (must have been taken in Tijuana's ZN). Questionably the offer is from Heidi herself. Who knows? Who cares?

Even with her restricted hours, HeidiHo is clearly bored and lacking even the basics to write with any insights. She stole Sarakanne's video idea about the Tijuana ZN district, our photos of the brothel and the body in trunk, the ideas we put to paper, twisting them all into "hate Caruso" themes. We're fairly certain Sarakanne claims no greater abilities on blog originality than we do. Therefore, she would entertain no thoughts of "imitation is flattery", much like us. Pathetic, of course; maddening nonetheless.
She's been ever so busy on TV Guide, either manipulating the CSI Miami and David Caruso boards, or giving her "instant messages" on other boards solely to upset the ranking of other posters. Today, she's turning a "CSI - Grissom leaving" thread into a "hate Caruso" thread, with absolutely no consideration for others and/or no relevance to the topic under discussion. Those one or two a minute opinions are so obvious even the novice sees through them.

The links are (1) Vipix, if you have the stomach for the idiocy; (2) Sarakanne's Tijuana video, if you haven't seen it. The list below those was copied from Digg today; shows how weak her material has become.

http://vipix.squarespace.com/journal/2008/5/4/caruso-and-the-new-girlfriend-exclusif.html?currentPage=79#comments

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh0nWrGJXWE&feature=related

David Caruso - Pasty and saggy
uglycreatures.blogspot.com — David Caruso looks all pasty and saggy. And that's with good lighting. I wish I could throw my shoe at him.Spotlight hogging, one-liner dishing, high expectation having m*therf*cker! More…Bury QueenBitch2die4 submitted 44 min ago
David Caruso - CSI Miami - Weak Repeat
community.tvguide.com — Even on a "slow" summer Monday CSI Miami is not able to get respectable viewer ratings for its reruns....More… Bury KillerQueen2 submitted 1 hr 44 min ago
David Caruso - Self-awareness
davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.c… — ..."I'm such a pussy in real life. Most people can kick my ass!" As if we didn´t know that, Dave... More… KillerQueen2 submitted 2 hr 41 min ago
David Caruso auditioned as ...THE JOKER view! IMAGE — spinformation.files.wordpress.… (Celebrity) submitted 3 hr 27 min ago. Mermaid7
We HATE David Caruso!
uglycreatures.blogspot.com — .....Instead, we are forced to watched this red-headed monotonal weaseldick stink up the airwaves. I hate him because he has three lazy moves.... More… Mermaid7 submitted 3 hr 50 min ago
David Caruso´s acting is like watching cheeze sweat
davidcarusoandme.blogspot.com — Last time, Vanity Fair's James Wolcott took a swipe at Caruso's "macho-moron empath perversion of the Dirty Harry mystique," along with his "overstated understated acting" — a judgment ...More… Bury KillerQueen2 submitted 22 hr 45 David Caruso, the red menance .. view!
IMAGE — thehealingtouch.files.wordpres…

David Caruso: British Stalker Faces Jail Sentence!

Tue, 23 Jul 2008 14:51:00 GMT

posted by dojo

David Caruso, Liza Marquez, Amina Islam, et al. Your day is approaching! Pay attention, HeidiHo. This stalker, without death threats and without outstanding warrants for fleeing two scheduled hearings, is facing jail time for her stalking of British comedy star, David Williams. Note the article states sentencing is pending results of psychiatric testing. How will you fare in Austrian courts? Will they be lenient?

Reprinted from Worcester News, July 23, 2008
Walliams' stalker facing jail term
3:29pm Monday 21st July 2008
© Press Association 2008
A former veterinary nurse faced jail for stalking Little Britain comedy star David Walliams.
Sarah Bartholomew, 29, of Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, pleaded guilty at an earlier hearing to harassing Walliams between last October and February.

She was due to be sentenced at Highbury Corner Magistrates' Court in London on Monday after her case was adjourned for psychiatric reports.

The court has heard how Bartholomew's obsession with Walliams began in 2004.
She was seen hanging around the BBC, where he worked, and outside his home at all hours. She sent the TV star underwear, cuddly toys, chocolates and DVDs.
She also sent the comedian letters, many of them sexually explicit, and some in rhyming verse.

One message said: "I'd rip off your pants in a sexual frenzy. You can have me how you want - I'm ever so bendy."

Late last year the star's solicitors wrote to her and formally asked her not to contact him. In response she sent large numbers of emails to the lawyers and to Walliams' agent, Carl Hill. The messages became more aggressive, and one said: "David knows what's coming to him."

Bartholomew, who is in custody, admitted one charge of harassment and another of threatening a witness.