My Pregnancy Journal - Articles - Zimbio

Finding Out

Tue, 9 Jan 2008 14:34:32 GMT

posted by Lifeofawife
So I have to admit, when I could suddenly smell things one hundred times better than before and I became so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open, I thought I might be pregnant. But it was the "morning sickness" that hit me out of no where for two days straight that pretty much sealed my thought that I was with child.

Three days before I was due for my period, I ran to the nearest Walgreen's to buy a box of pregnancy tests. Considering that I was jumping the gun a little, I decided to get a box that had three tests. That way in case I got a negative result but my period still hadn't arrived when it was supposed to, I could retest. Or if the test came out positive and I was so shocked that I needed two more to convince myself, I'd be prepared.

As I stood in line with Dare Devil, my seventeen-month-old, under one arm, the diaper bag under the other and the box of tests held straight up in the air to prevent DD from eating it, I noticed the annoyed look on the cashier's face. Her look basically said, "You can't even control that child, why would you put yourself in the position to have another?" As she rang me up I thought to myself that I should have taken my chances with Rite-Aid. Even though I had bought an incredible amount of pregnancy tests there over the past few years, I get nervous at the slightest sign, and the cashiers have no qualms about asking personal questions, they still wouldn't have given me an attitude. I once walked up to the Rite-Aid register with a pack of newborn sized diapers and a pregnancy test. I hadn't had my period for four months and was getting worried, so of course I tested myself, it came out negative-thank God. But the cashier who was a young, gay male grabbed both of my items and with a surprised look said. "Well this is an interesting purchase!" I told him I was getting nervous about the no-show from my monthly friend and he started asking where the new little one would sleep if I were in fact pregnant. After chit-chatting myself into a slight panic attack, I grabbed my bag and headed for the door only to hear the young cashier call after me, "Good luck! I hope it turns out negative!"

But I think that would have been much better to deal with then Miss Attitude with the nasty looks. After I got the test, I drove home with a million thoughts running through my mind. How would I tell my husband? He'd be pretty shocked too. Should I wait to do it in some romantic way? No, I'm way too impatient for that. Could I hold out until his birthday to tell him, that would save me the cost of buying a birthday gift. No, definitely too impatient for that. I ran in the door to my house, put DD in the pack n' play and ran up to the bathroom to take the test. Normally they tell you to take it in the morning, especially if you're testing early, but this test was one you could take five days before a missed period and it boasted that you could test any time of the day.

I waited the three minutes and with eyes closed picked up the test. Clearing my mind, I opened my eyes. I had to hold the test up to the light to see the second line, but sure enough it was there! I put it down on the edge of the tub, then repeated my actions, just to make sure I wasn't seeing things that weren't actually there. Nope, it was there. I immediately picked up the phone and called my husband. "OK," I said, "I know why I am throwing up, why I can smell everything, and why I'm so tired. I'm pregnant." Nothing, dead air from his end. "Hello!" I said, getting nervous. "Are you sure?" He said. "Yeah, I'm holding the test, there are definitely two lines." "Wow," he said. That was most of the reaction I had gotten from him. That was basically the same reaction I had myself. He finally admitted that he was excited and I said that I thought I was too. We agreed to wait until Christmas Eve to tell everyone, including my six-year-old son, Big Brother.

So now, we are trying to figure out where this baby is going to sleep, where the boys will sleep and where we will sleep so that we all fit in our house. The whole thing is very surreal to me. I honestly didn't see myself having another baby for a few years. But everything happens for a reason and every baby is a blessing. I have to prepare myself for having a third child!

Welcome to our wikizine called "My Pregnancy Journal"

Tue, 9 Jan 2008 14:26:57 GMT

posted by Lifeofawife
Wikizines are interactive magazines that anyone can create or edit - and this one is called "My Pregnancy Journal". Here you can find fresh voices and respond in real time. Some members write articles about recent news and trends related to the wikizine's topic, others recount relevant personal stories or share their favorite pictures and video clips. Got an interesting idea or story to share with other members of this wikizine? Well, then put on your journalist's cap and add your own article!

Getting Towards the End

Tue, 25 Jun 2008 18:21:55 GMT

posted by Lifeofawife
Wow, this pregnancy has flown by. I am simply amazed at how quick it has gone! I had absolutely planned on keeping up more with this blog and am sad that I just did not have the time. There has been so much going on in my life over the past several months that I feel like I watched them go by sort of in an out-of-body-like state.

Being in my eighth month has definitely had some ups and downs. I'm totally exhausted, sore, big (obviously), and anxious. I've been asked several times if I'm carrying twins. (I've learned the best thing to do is just laugh it off, curious folks don't mean any harm) And I am quickly growing out of my maternity clothes. I feel totally unprepared for this baby. The crib hasn't been put together, (my almost two-year-old is still occupying his) nor has the swing, high chair, car seat, bouncy seat, etc. I have managed to wash most of the baby clothes though, that's a plus.

Now that we're preparing for a girl, things feel very different. Everything is pink, with flowers or hearts. We look forward to tea parties and baby dolls and princess toys. Of course with my luck she'll be a tom boy and will want to wrestle with her two big brothers. Either way, it feels like a whole new ball game. I am excited, too, to hold a newborn again. I do really miss that feeling. And I'm hopeful that I'll go into labor on my own. (I was induced with my last two).

There's so much going through my mind right now that I can't stop thinking, even for a second. I feel like there's this huge to-do list constantly hanging over my head. After cleaning and moving furniture all day (yes I am insane), my husband will come home and order me to lay down. But I can't. Instead, I quietly fold and put away clothes so he can't hear me working. I feel that it is imminent that I get it done right that very second!

I also worry though, that she'll come much sooner than planned. When I look at how many weeks are left I realize that there isn't much time to begin with. But I'm scared she'll come too soon, and be too small or too weak. After spending time in the NICU with Dare Devil, I never want to go through that again. And I feel like she's sitting right down in my pelvis all the time, it's actually quite painful to walk. Big Brother lightens the mood though, he's come up with a couple of new nicknames for me. "Waddle Monster" is my favorite, next to "Big Foot". (I swell really bad).

Thinking about all I have to do has just convinced me that I better get back to work! Hopefully I will have time to write again before the Princess makes her debut!

20 Week Ultrasound

Thu, 2 May 2008 16:31:04 GMT

posted by Lifeofawife
I am now getting into my twenty-fourth week, but had my regular ultrasound at twenty weeks. We were excited to go and hoping to find out what the baby is. We found out it is a girl! That is the part we're really excited about. But while the tech was checking measurements and getting certain shots, I noticed a look on her face that worried me. I left there feeling nervous and scared that we'd find out something was wrong. Sure enough, a week later I got the call from my GYN that they had indeed found something.

My GYN is very laid back, he never gets worried or nervous, he tries to always handle things rationally. But when he called me he told me right away that there was an issue and before telling me what they found, he sighed and said "Stay calm......" That made me want to freak out. He said that the tech noticed two cysts on the babies brain and that it could be nothing but they needed to air on the side of caution in case there was a possibility of chromosomal abnormalities. He told me to make an appointment with the antenatal testing unit (ATU) at the hospital as soon as possible so they could do another ultrasound and measure the cysts. Three days later my husband and I headed off to our appointment, nervous as hell and sick to our stomachs.

We read the good and the bad on the Internet about these cysts. The good thing was that there were a lot of women who had been given the same news and had very healthy normal babies. The bad thing was that the two chromosome abnormalities connected with these cysts were Down Syndrome and Edward's Syndrome. Everyone knows what Down Syndrome is but I had never heard of Edward's before. When I googled it I felt like I couldn't breath. Basically everything that could go wrong with a baby does when they have Edward's. The majority of babies don't make it to delivery but if they do, they usually don't live past the first couple of months outside the womb. Wow, that was hard to take. But I tried to stay positive and sane.

The tech we had at the ATU was great, very positive and upbeat. That made me feel much more at ease. What felt even better was that she told me she had seen this before and that every time, it had turned out to be nothing. She also told me that before the high-tech ultrasound machines came along, there were plenty of babies with cysts but no one knew which meant that no one had to go through the tests and waiting game. The ultrasound took over an hour. The tech measured every part of the baby's body, her head, arms, legs, even her ankles! I've never seen ankles that detailed on an ultrasound before. But they measure every possible thing because most often there will be signs or "markers" that indicate Edward's Syndrome. I made sure the tech checked to make sure the baby was a girl (I won't believe it until she's actually here and in my arms). And then we sat in a room, waiting for the doctor to read and look over everything and then come talk to us.

The doctor was very optimistic. She drew us a diagram of the fetal brain and circled the areas where these cysts most often appear. Then she showed us where the cysts are on either side of our baby's brain. She told us that she's not positive these spots are actually cysts. There is a chance that they are areas of the brain that are still developing. But she can't be sure of that either. She broke it down for us what the odds are that the baby will have Edward's Syndrome which, she said, is the abnormality they most commonly see associated with the cysts. Because they haven't found any other markers for Edward's, the chances are one in six-hundred and fifty that the baby will have it. The chances are much greater that the baby will have Down Syndrome but she didn't give us the odds I think for the shear fact that we'd be worried or convinced that our baby would have it. We had originally scheduled an appointment (as recommended) with a genetic counselor but were told we could cancel it by the ATU doctor. She had given us all of the information we would have gotten from the counselor plus we declined an amniocentesis so there was no reason to go to someone else. Even thought the amnio would give us a definite yes or no answer to whether the baby has an abnormality, it is too much of a risk to take. An amniocentesis can cause miscarriage. My husband and I had already decided before this appointment that whatever the outcome is, we can't change it nor would we want to end the pregnancy so therefore, there is absolutely no reason to have a risky test done. In the end, the doctor made an appointment to remeasure everything the first week of June and told us to put the odds we were given in the back of our minds until the baby is here and we can see for ourself if there are any problems. Of course that is much easier said than done.

So for the time being, we are preparing for our little girl while keeping our fingers crossed that our next ultrasound goes very well. I still believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we never understand why. With that in mind, I wake up every morning and imagine having my little baby girl here with me.

First Trimester Screen

Tue, 30 Jan 2008 13:18:19 GMT

posted by Lifeofawife
When you're pregnant, you go through so many different tests that you tend to lose track of what you've had done. The main ones I remember are the first blood workup, the sugar test for diabetes and of course the ultrasounds. Anything other than that is just a blur.

My doctor gave me a prescription to get a first trimester screen done at my last visit. I just assumed it was like any other screen I had done, just earlier in the pregnancy than usual. But when I called to make the appointment I found out that this one is done for high risk pregnancies.

I may have mentioned that my last pregnancy was the pregnancy from hell. I'll spare you all of the details right now but the doctor induced me two weeks early because my blood pressure was through the roof and I was swelling really badly. My blood pressure, which I had never had a problem with before would spike so high that I would pass out. Between that, the swelling and the extreme morning sickness, my doctor told me to go on bed rest which was next to impossible. I stayed in bed as much as I could though.

So I am nervous this time around. Now that I've dealt with dangerous issues already and am obviously considered a high risk pregnancy, I am scared that something is going to happen. My doctor did an ultrasound at my last check up because I have been getting severe pains in my stomach and over my shoulder, to the point that I'm doubled over and in most cases, curled up in a ball unable to do anything. He just wanted to make sure the baby was in the right place (not in one of my tubes). I felt a little more at ease when I saw the baby turning its head back and forth and also saw the little heartbeat flickering on the screen. But now I'm nervous again.

When I called to set the appointment with the Antenatal Testing Unit, I asked what all they were going to do. They said they would measure the baby from crown to rump and also measure the baby's head and neck. After that they're going to take some blood. When I was pregnant with Dare Devil, I had to get ultrasounds every four to six weeks because at first he was very small for how far along I was. They had been worried that there was a problem and set a limit on the amount of time he had to catch up with growing before they did more tests. Luckily, he caught up quickly and they stopped worrying so much. So now I am scared that this baby won't be where they're supposed to be growth wise. My doctor did see the baby on the ultrasound and he is laid back enough that he might have kept some information from me, so I can't help but wonder if he's already spotted a problem.

My appointment is February 11. Until then, I'll just get more and more nervous. Hopefully it's all for nothing. I hope that the baby is alright (what mother wouldn't?) and that they put my worries at ease.