Observations - Articles - Zimbio

A Double-Edged Sword

Sat, 30 Sep 2007 10:19:40 GMT

posted by CoryAlayne

"May I have a turn?

I come here every week, and I always want to talk, to say something, you know, but... my mouth won't open...? I don't even know what's wrong, exactly, it's just that... something doesn't feel right."

How many times did I listen to those words in the show this year, say them?

When will I do myself justice? When will I figure out what it is I truly want, what it is I truly have the strongest passion for or a valid problem with, what takes priority over what, which instincts to follow and which to ignore? When does the eureka moment come, when I finally know what it is I should do, what the first step is, and how to really take the action that will propel everything else forward?

Stagnancy is dangerous, not only because of its obvious effects - not moving on, not truly growing or changing or learning - but because of its sneakier attributes: comfort, "security", routine. Which is not to say that these things are undesirable in and of themselves; but when these lofty goals are achieved, they should still involve challenges, risks, passion, the element of surprise. The things that, essentially, make stagnancy a non-issue. So when I feel that way, stagnant, confused, like the world and everything in it are too big for me to handle, I hope, and try to keep... well, trying.

But it's not easy.

Hope is a double-edged sword. We are told our whole lives to "keep hope alive", and yet nothing great was ever achieved through hope alone. Sure, you have to have faith in what you're doing, you have to hope that things will work out for the best, but hope doesn't equal work, investment, truly living. Now don't get me wrong, there are times when your best efforts have truly been exhausted and all you can do is hope, and there is dignity and truth in that; but those instances are so much rarer then they appear to be. More often than not, it seems, people give up on their dreams and mask their surrender in hope. Because they've read too much Brothers Grimm and Mother Goose, watched too many movies that tell you that if you've been through hard times, eventually they will let up, you just have to be patient... and hope.

They forget to tell you that you have to continue to try, too. Even after the seventh "hardest" decision. Even after going through the most difficult time in your life, only to have it be followed by something even more difficult - twice. Or 12,003 times. Be patient, have hope, have faith that Someone in the universe has your best interests in mind, but continue to try. There are so many people that I know, that I've known, most of whom have tried so hard and for so long that they feel all that's left is hope, when there are life-changing opportunities staring them in the face. But they give up. Because change is too hard, because they are too scared, because it's not the right time or they're not sure how to proceed.

I'm not coming down on these people. I'm coming down on myself. My biggest fear in my life is that I will become one of them, that I will spend so much time planning and only sometimes pursuing the opportunities presented to me, only sometimes following my gut instinct that something is right or wrong, and wind up unhappy, unfulfilled, spiritually defunct.

That fear is real, because sometimes I am one of them.

Right now I am one of them.

See, I've learned from them, that I don't want that to be my story, but I've also adopted so many of those traits over the years - wanting something to be easy (something has to be easy, right?), wishing something were different, clinging to a fleeting taste of what life would be like if it were different - that I sometimes find myself following that path. The worst part is, I often don't even know I'm on that path, and when I wake up and figure it out, I find that not only am I on it, but that I've been actively convincing myself that I'm not - rationalizing my behavior, my choices, everything - the whole time. Then, because I'm not sure how I got there, how to fix it or move forward, I stop. And hope.

I take risks in fits and starts, but still haven't in some ways that matter most. My mind is always working, my thoughts are always racing, I'm always analyzing everything until I'm blue in the face and making plans. Plans are another enigma. They mean nothing if you don't go through with them, and yet you can't expect them to actually turn out exactly the way you thought when you do go through with them, either. If you plant a tree in a perfect garden, it could thrive beautifully, and in twenty years, in twenty days, someone could bulldoze everything around the garden and build a city. You never know what will happen, but on the other hand, you never know what won't, either; that tree, in that garden, could persevere through change, adapt, grow stronger and live on to be a magnificent hundreds of years old with a big tire swing that all the city kids swing on after school.

That, to me, is the definition of hope.

There is magic in the world, but that magic is propelled by a force greater than fairy tales, than wishing on stars. There is opportunity, there is goodness, there is Grace. As human beings we have to take all that and translate it into what we are put on this Earth to do. If we don't know what that is, we need to find what makes that magic real for us, what lights the way for us, and follow it until we figure it out. We can't just hope it will arrive one day. We can't just expect it to fall in our laps because we think we deserve it. We have to search for it, uncover it, scrape the dirt and banality of the everyday grind away until we reveal that sense of purpose and belonging we all long for, the true source of our authentic hope, the hope we were meant to manifest in whatever we call our deepest and most profound efforts and achievements.

So, in my more spiritually lucid moments, I take risks and invest myself. I pour my heart and soul into something I believe has value, worth in this world. I invest everything I have in people I believe in, relationships that enrich my life. I work hard at something that fulfills me, and that I feel adds something to the world or enriches someone's life in some way, because those are the qualities I value in any effort I undertake.

But these ventures don't always work out. Sometimes these failures are the very things that make us - alright, make me - stop trying and start hoping. Because I'm tired. Because it's not that I haven't been working hard at these things for years. Because it's not that what I invested myself in didn't have value and potential and beauty. But somehow, sometimes, these things fail, anyway.

So what do I do then?

Hope things will get better.

And keep trying.

Homophobic Rant

Sat, 14 Oct 2007 20:02:49 GMT

posted by Quest

You've got to wonder about those who are irrationally outspoken against homosexuality. If one is truly at peace and comfortable with his own beliefs and sexuality, then why pick a public platform to voice such combative passion? It makes me wonder what the "real" fight is all about. It reminds me of the Shakespearean quote, "The lady doth protest too much, me thinks". This famous line has come to mean that those who protest too much have something to hide. And, although Ja Rule (the thug-like rap star) is reportedly married with children, his latest tirade in Complex magazine, makes me question what his fuss is really all about.

Ja Rule recently went on record in an interview with the magazine accusing the gay community of "fucking up America". He said, "Let's talk about all these fucking shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can't watch this shit". He went on to say, "Dating shows that's showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let's talk about shit like that! If that's not fucking up America, I don't know what is."

Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is calling for media outlets to ban his press coverage because of his hateful remarks. A statement posted on GLAAD's website reads, "No fair-minded person can look at Ja Rule's interview with Complex magazine and believe for one second that his children could be more harmed by what they might see on television than by the vulgarity and prejudice that comes out of their father's mouth."

I agree, in part, with GLAAD. Ja Rule's words are very hurtful and filled with venomous anger. And, I believe that words (in general) are not only filled with important meaning, but are also filled with energy that can change the world for good or for bad. Simply put, his words have a life of their own and are dangerous to the young people who are exposed to them.

I however think that a media ban, a.k.a. censorship, is not the answer. To practice what I preach, I must say that this is America and Ja Rule should be free to express his thoughts. Instead of a media ban, I think Ja Rule should be educated on diversity and on the power his words have to make a positive difference. Well respected community leaders, such as Rev. Jesse Jackson or Rev. Al Sharpton, should step up to the plate and offer Ja Rule their guidance and counseling.

Whether his motivation, or close-minded bigotry, comes from latent homosexuality, hatred, or just miseducation, I am hopeful that Ja Rule will see the err of his ways and soon rise to a healthier dialog. He has a basic responsibility and owes it to himself, to his impressionable audience and to the world.

For more information on GLAAD, follow this link to their website: http://www.glaad.org/

The youth of today

Sun, 8 Oct 2007 17:22:00 GMT

posted by bertbert

Seems to me that wherever you turn at the minute someone is moaning about the kids you get these days, long gone are the days of kids helping and respecting their elders. Now all they apparently want to do is mug you for their own pleasure, set fire to your granny and get drunk. We’ve all seen and heard of the groups of ‘youths’ who roam the streets and are more than happy to attack people and their possessions just for kicks. People are always pointing the finger of blame, normally blaming the parents, the schools, immigration, Black man music, old fashioned conservative views, modern values, etc.

Trouble is there’s a lot of blaming going on but no one actually taking a step back and tackling the whole problem. I believe most of the problems are actually caused by those responsible for fixing them. For example take the parents they are normally the first to be blamed, although arguably this is because they have the most power over a child, but in reality it’s just because they are the easiest targets they get the largest slice of blame. Sure a parent can stop a child going out, accessing things and teach them the difference between right and wrong, all basic duties of a parent. There are bound to be parents who don’t bother to do this, in which case they certainly deserve their share of the blame. But you can’t tell me we’ve been on this planet as humans parenting all these years and it’s only just now that people have realised they cant do it? Again I think it’s unfair to brand a particular genre of music as being responsible; Rap is the expression of current social and political issues experienced by the performer, it’s very unfair that it be labelled as the root of all evil. I’m sure there are some naïve individuals who do think that rap is glamorising violence, and it’s ‘cool’ to be like that. These people need help and I believe the artists are to blame if they don’t explain the motives of their music. Immigration is another hot potato, with people often clinging to the social implications. These people are just scared and unable to accept change, after all if you look at the history of the United Kingdom we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for immigration. Another point that makes me laugh is the old fashioned views/modern values argument, what’s changed? Me and my dad have different values, my dad and my grandfather have different views, each time you go up the chain you consider those above you as ‘old fashioned’. Times change, people change, again this is something that’s happened forever not just in the past few years. In the schools we have removed all power from the teachers, and instead given them target after target to reach. No longer are academics concerned about the knowledge, they are forced to meet statistics and worry about funding, with the constant pressure of knowing the kids in real terms have more rights than them.

I feel all of this contributes to the real problem, a lack of ambition and inspiration; think back to when you where young, you had the possibility of being anything you wanted. Then you went to school and were told that you had to do well at your exams in order to succeed; to some this seems impossible, and it’s easier to misbehave and instead of the teachers and parents being in a position to nip it in the bud they are both disillusioned and leave it. Then those that do to good in their exams instead of being congratulated, they have to listen to people telling anyone who will listen that the exams have been dumbed down. All this leads to a youth with no sense of achievement or vision, so it’s easier to do nothing productive rather than be torn apart for trying. The recent protests in Burma show a motivated youth, those that have ambition, those who feel they can achieve.

At current we can only dream of such an ambitious and imaginative youth, for that I feel very sad.

On-Hold Hell, or On Hold? Hell!

Mon, 8 Jan 2008 17:22:00 GMT

posted by Sustaina
Sometimes technology drives me crazy! I am on hold and have been for 54 minutes, so I decided to vent here, rather than scrrreaming at the person who will eventually answer this call, assuming that person even exists. This might just be a cruel joke, or one of those weird psychological games. You know the kind I mean. A person is asked to wait in a room for some reason, and as he sits there, the canned music gets louder and louder and louder. Some fiend wants to know how long the person will endure the torture before he walks out. My current experience is doubly tortuous, because if I “walk out” on this phone call, I know I will have to call again and start at the end of the queue.

I have now been on hold for exactly one hour with no respite from some strange, repetitive music which seems to have a demonic, clapping choir in the background. Why not play Mozart?

I am not going to scream at the tech! I am NOT going to scream at the tech! I am NOT going to SCREAM at the tech!

I finally talked to a web tech named Gene. He was brusque, uncommunicative, and he kept repeating computer gibberish…but I did not scream at him. He was having a great time pretending to be helpful, while I was grinding my teeth and trying not to growl audibly. I am sure he realized that if I had known what he was talking about, I would not have needed him. What a prince of a fellow! Now I will have to call again and hope to talk to a sensitive, caring person who speaks English, instead of computer-ese. Back to the end of the queue!

Religion

Mon, 4 Sep 2007 20:33:12 GMT

posted by bertbert

My Grandad's a vicar, I attended a church school but still I've never really been drawn to religion. I've always struggled to understand how it answered any questions or made sense to anyone; to me it always posed more questions than it ever answered, overtime I have come to realise this is mainly down to the way I think. I have the perfect definition of an engineer's brain, thus I cannot just except that something exists or works just because it does, I need to be able to see how it works to understand and accept it. This is something religion doesn't offer it relies heavily on trust and accepting traditions, rituals and ancient writings.

Another gripe of mine is how do you know you have the right one? With all the religions in the world not everyone can have it right, so this must mean at least a fairly large chunk of the world is praying to the wrong god(s). Now if God he does exist could take this one of two ways, either God would just be happy all the people who had been praying to the wrong one where at least praying and forgive them, or he'd be incredibly pissed about it and make them pay! Needless to say the idea of pissing off a God doesn't appeal to me.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying religion is false or wrong, it gives a great number of people a great sense of purpose and a place to turn for support and hope at times of need. In my eyes anything that can provide people help like this is not a bad thing. But most if not all wars and conflicts I can think of have been religiously motivated or have separate religious factions fighting against one another. To me this poses the question of "Would there be so much bloodshed in the world if we didn't have religion or only had the one religion?"