California Mandates Tan Lines

Sat, 8 Jun 2008 09:14:00 GMT

posted by beckychr007

Blame it on federal workplace discrimination laws—but you can no longer get rid of those tan lines at San Onofre State Beach .

For thirty years it has been the policy of the California State Park Rangers, to leave the skinny dippers and nude sunbathers alone at San Onofre, a beach at the northern tip of San Diego County.

However, Rich Haydon, acting superintendent for San Onofre State Beach, has announced that the policy has been superseded by the federal Civil Rights Act.

The Act protects employees from being embarrassed or indirectly harassed due to a “sexually charged” workplace.

The Superintendent says that many of his employees are uncomfortable, going about their duties, and encountering naked people, and on rare occasions, nudists getting it on (though being disrobed while performing this activity is not confined to clothing optional beaches).

“We are duty-bound to take care of our employees and take care of this situation,” he said.

My what a broad tent the Nanny State is—it is big enough for the bitchiness of Gloria Steinem , as well as the exploding head of James Dobson.

What is it with Americans and nudity?

On most beaches I am required to wear a top , even though there are flabby guys bouncing around with breasts much larger than mine. Other than finding the images aesthetically displeasing, I could care less, and certainly do not feel that I have been harassed in any way.

One of the problems is the perception in America that going au naturale is titillating, if not down right pornographic.

And these days it seems anything like this turns into a perv magnet.

It's like this beach on Puget Sound off the Evergreen State College campus in Washington State. The little beach, which is only accessible by a two mile walk through the woods, is a gem and has always been clothing optional. When I was a teenager we used to frolic and swim down there any time we could.

Last summer I was back in Olympia. On one rare PNW sunny day, I decided to head down there with one of my old girlfriends. We found signs posted prohibiting nudity and warning the beach was patrolled. I was a bit taken back—but decided not to risk embarrassing my parents by getting arrested for indecent exposure (and probably being required to register as a sex offender).

I was later talking to some people, and learned the problem was not pressure by the fundie wingnuts. It was the pervs who hung out in the bushes jacking off. And of course, they brought their cameras, saving the sights for future jollies, as well as sometimes broadcasting the whole thing live on the Net for the benefit of homebound creeps.

As anyone who has ever been to a clothing optional beach knows, a person has to be seriously kinky, and not in a good way, to find the sight extraordinarily erotic. The truth is that most of the people there, really should be dressed.

You will never actually see a sign like this:

Not even a non-sexist prohibition.

One might think that watching average Joe and Josie naked people , most of whom have saggy breasts and wrinkly asses , would soon desensitize even the most committed voyeuristic creep.

But, for some reason, in America, we have a lot more of this type of deeply disturbed perv than does Europe.

Perhaps their mamas didn't breastfeed them.

Whatever---it's too bad we have to ruin things for everyone, just because of the occasional perv, or the state park ranger that is offended by the site of the human body.

Wouldn't it make more sense to just lock up the pervs, before they do something more serious?

And tell the offended employees to grow up.

P.S.--

Don't forget that the new season of Army Wives starts tonight on Lifetime.

~Becky

SUMMER TIME, SUPER COOL PRODUCT REVIEW!

Mon, 6 May 2008 19:58:00 GMT

posted by bherberg
YES, YES, YES, Hell NO, NO, NO, YES, HELL YES

So I was perusing my favorite BLOG, http://www.barstoolsports.com/, when I came across a product that they were advertising: POOL FUCKING PONG...BRILLIANT! I hate when people discover shit like that...Clearly, if I had any remaining brains cells, I could have invented that shit. I mean, I love playing Beer Pong more than anything in this world. The light should have gone on years ago. BRAIN: "Hey Brit, u like pong, why don't you figure out a way where you can play it all the time...LIKE IN A FUCKING POOL?!" I would be a billionaire by now...FECK! Anyway, my hat is off to the inventors. You people are smart.

Summer time product review!

Ability to play in a pool: A+
Ability to play in a ocean: F-
Involvement of alcohol: A+
Ability to get hot chicks to play in bikini, then slowly remove bikini due to intoxication : A+

SHE WOULD BE MY PARTNER

Now on to a more detailed look...

PLUSES and MINUSES

+ I would so dominate this game… With my 6'6 (Michael Jordan height/no big deal) statuesque frame, I would slowly, inch by inch, pull the pong-raft into the deep end. And you short heeerting would slowly drown as I ICE cups in your face! HUGE PLUS!

- The constant bitching. "DUDE, that fatty over there cannon balled into the pool, the fucking raft was bouncing up and down...I should get to shoot again...BULLLSHIT."

+ Gives you a reason to tell douchebag teenage lifeguards to fuck off, when they tell you NO DRINKING IN THE POOL.

- Excessive peeing. Clearly you would have to pee every 5 minutes with the excessive drinking and with the soaking in water and all….

+ You are in a pool. Just go ahead and pee. That is what the chlorine is for.

- Splashing. Obvi, once I start dominating, you will get angry and splash in my beer. FUCKERS.

+ NO NEED FOR WATER CUP!

AND there you have it. Pretty much the greatest invention of the 21st century. I give it an.......

A+

Now all I need is a pool and $50 and I will be set…

Please buy this and invite me over to play.

https://www.poolsidepong.com/

Write about your favorite nude beaches

Mon, 25 Mar 2008 17:58:17 GMT

posted by The_Zimbio_Team
Wikizines are interactive magazines that anyone can create or edit - and this one is about the "Top 10" nude beaches in the world.

If you're a beach-bound traveler who's got a strong opinion about which beaches are best, feel free to chime in and write an article.

You can write about the classic topless locals such as Saint-Tropez on France's Cote d'Azur or you can write about less-known hidden beaches, like those along the coast in Santa Cruz California.

Gunnison Beach in New Jersey makes AskMen's Top 10 Nude Beaches

Mon, 25 Mar 2008 18:10:44 GMT

posted by The_Zimbio_Team
New Jersey isn't exactly a tropical destination... so it's a little surprising (and fun) to find good ol' NJ on a top 10 list for nude beaches.

AskMen put out a ranked list and Gunnison made the cut at number 9. The only problem is that the description doesn't mention which exit off the freeway to take!

Linked from http://www.askmen.com/fashion/travel_top_ten/59_travel_top_ten.html
---

#9 -- Top 10 Nude Beaches

Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey

"Gunnison Beach, located on the Sandy Hook peninsula in the northeast corner of New Jersey, has been officially recognized as a clothing optional beach for several decades. In fact, it is probably the largest and most firmly established nude beach on the East Coast of the United States. There are even signs warning visitors that they may encounter nude sunbathers beyond a certain point. This huge sandy beach attracts a large and diverse crowd on hot summer days; the families, couples and singles mingling together will instantly make you feel comfortable."

Top 10 Nude Beaches - Articles - Zimbio

California Mandates Tan Lines

SUMMER TIME, SUPER COOL PRODUCT REVIEW!

Write about your favorite nude beaches

Gunnison Beach in New Jersey makes AskMen's Top 10 Nude Beaches