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Energy Independence for America

Mon, 9 Sep 2008 11:50:12 GMT

posted by Remy24

Energy Independence for America

We don’t have an energy problem.

We have a stupidity problem.

People will pay $5 for a gallon of gas, then go looking for a deal:

GAS MILEAGE (city / highway)

Toyota Prius (48/45)
Honda Civic Hybrid (40/45)

        Smart Car for Two        (33/41)
        Mini Cooper                    (28/37)
        Toyota Yaris                   (29/36)
        Honda Fit                        (28/34)

Honda Accord (22/31)
VW Passat (21/29)

This deal stinks.

We’re a nation of junkies and we don’t even see it.

Hundreds of scientists have developed free energy alternatives, but the U.S. government accuses them of treason [35 U.S.C. 181-188].

Brian DePalma directed my favorite movie, Scarface.

His brother Bruce DePalma invented a free energy machine (the N-Machine) and started to receive death threats. DePalma moved to Australia, then New Zealand, and he is now dead.

I don’t want to die yet, so here are my ideas…right now.

Angry Cars

A road-rage fueled vehicle,

suppressed by General Motors Corp.

Using Nikola Tesla’s Instigator Motor technology, our cars can run on fury fuel.

They convert emotional energy into kinetic energy, thereby harnessing the limitless supply of bad temper generated daily by American drivers.

These patents have been suppressed since 1878 by an oil-and-auto conspiracy.

Puerto Rican Homopolar Coil

This was one developed by my great-grandfather Papo Pelú in Wyandacho, Puerto Rico.

Here he is during his greatest experiment in 1932.

A lightning bolt struck.

Papo light every house in Wyandacho.

He also kill every cow in Santurce, Guaynabo, Loiza Aldea, and he lose his hair.

As your President Cojones, I will bring Papo’s secret to America, and I will keep it out of the hands of the Defense Department.

Bugs that Eat Waste and Excrete Petrol

Bug fuel for your Hummer

Ethanol raises the price of corn, and caused a tortilla riot in Mexico City.

So bring on the bugs!

These bugs are tiny (one-billionth the size of an ant), but their doodie is real oil that can fill your Lexus SUV.

For more information call Bob Walsh, the President of LS9, the company that’s breeding them in Silicon Valley.

Walsh worked at Shell Oil for 26 years and ran all their European supply operations.

I don’t know the guy, and he’s not paying me any money.

Puerto Rican Guy.

The Last King of Uganda!!!

Fri, 19 May 2007 05:07:00 GMT

posted by jitaditya08

Idi Amin has always been the sinister one in our mindset, the cannibal & the tyrant! So as the show started, I geared up for nothing but loads & loads of gore apart from a good dose of histrionics from Whitaker. But the film turned out to be surprisingly sober(to a certain degree of disappointment for a sadist like me) & yet powerful!
The movie starts in Scotland where Dr Nicholas Garrigan(James McAvoy) is planning a stint in some third world country after finishing his studies. He decides to select a place randomly & stumbles on Uganda.
So our Doctor reaches Uganda & starts working in remote place among the poor natives along with some other European doctors. In the meantime Amin(Forest Whitaker) seizes power in Uganda through a coup. He incidentally meets Nicholas as he met with an accident & sought for some medical assistance. He was impressed by the young doctor & made him his personal physician. So thus begins an unlikely friendship.
Amin wins over the foreign press with his sense of humour but tries hard to keep the real scene behind the scene. His jovial nature makes him a charismatic despot. So initially Nicholas refuses to hear anything about him & remains his most trusted doctor cum advisor. But as the time goes by, like most other dictators Amin also takes the path of ruthlessness to keep his reigns going. He starts throwing tantrum at everyone including Nicholas & he’s no more the jocund, friendly soul. In the meantime Nicholas develops a close relationship with one of Amin’s wives which worsens his situation further. He then also learns about the atrocities committed by Amin’s forces & soon he starts yearning to leave Uganda. So the story leads towards a bloody conclusion which I won’t disclose for the future viewers.
Now coming to various aspects of the film, it’s the two actors who stand out & overshadow everything else. I’ve always liked Whitaker in those character roles but for the first time he gets to play the lead & doesn’t disappoint at all. He looks, speaks & acts like true dictator should & yes he deserved the Oscar. McAvoy on the other hand, also continues his good work after Narnia. I felt that he also deserved at least a nomination. He’ll be an actor to watch out for in the future.
Here, one thing strikes my mind, the director Kevin Macdonald hasn’t gone overboard to show the atrocities of Amin or his alleged cannibalism while adapting Giles Foden’s novel. He’s finished off those portions in quick unrecognisable flashes. This is what makes the film more watchable for general viewers though it was a bit disappointing for darker minds like me. Anyway, to sum up, it feels like laking the punch at a few instances but is definitely watchable due to exceptional performances.

The Holiday Inn Retirement Plan

Tue, 27 Aug 2008 13:15:51 GMT

posted by Remy24

The Holiday Inn Retirement Plan

As your President Cojones, I will outlaw every nursing home in America.

Then I put every senior citizen in a Holiday Inn.

Here is why:

The average cost for a nursing home is $188 a day.
At a Holiday Inn, with a long-term stay discount and a senior discount, it’s $49.23 a night.

That leaves $138.77 a day for:

a) breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant you want, or

b) room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

If that does not restore the romance in your marriage, then nothing will.

A second honeymoon for the gran culona

Plus they have a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer-dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient!

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.

They fix everything…and apologize for the inconvenience!

For a change of scenery take the airport shuttle bus, and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise your cash keep piling up.

Another reason to fly…you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

Aloha, little girl!

The Inn has a night security guy and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok.

If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now the party really begins.

Three men and a baby

To all you aging baby boomers:

Vote for Leo!

Because you were born to party…not die in a dirty nursing home.

Puerto Rican Guy.

America’s Most Wanted

Wed, 28 Aug 2008 23:52:20 GMT

posted by Remy24

America’s Most Wanted

(Puerto Rican Prison Reform)

The prison industry is a big $100 billion-a-year business.

We have more prisoners than any nation on earth!

Every year, it cost almost as much as the war in Iraq.

The politician all two-face – they never do anything about anything.

Two-face politician

To me the answer is very simple. In fact, I have two of them.

Send all the Prisoners to Iraq.

Bingo! This will save us $100 billion a year. Our crime rate will drop 50% overnight. We will also become famous for having the most violent soldiers in the world.

Everyone will be afraid of us.

The non-violent soldiers who sold a nickel bag of coke (90% of the prisoners) can bring up the rear, and supply morphine when needed.

Arrest the Guy Already.

Haven’t you notice?

The same black guy is committing every crime in America.

Last night he rob a bank in Compton, sell coke in Miami, steal cows in Chicago and rape a New York Knicks cheerleader.

They show the mug shots on Fox News, and each time is the same guy!

Maybe they all look alike to Fox News…but if you ask me, just arrest this guy and we can all go back to Leave it to Beaver.

Puerto Rican Guy.

America’s Most Wanted

Wed, 28 Aug 2008 04:34:49 GMT

posted by Remy24

America’s Most Wanted

(Puerto Rican Prison Reform)

The prison industry is a big $100 billion-a-year business.

We have more prisoners than any nation on earth!

Every year, it cost almost as much as the war in Iraq.

The politician all two-face – they never do anything about anything.

Two-face politician

To me the answer is very simple. In fact, I have two of them.

Send all the Prisoners to Iraq.

Bingo! This will save us $100 billion a year. Our crime rate will drop 50% overnight. We will also become famous for having the most violent soldiers in the world.

Everyone will be afraid of us.

The non-violent soldiers who sold a nickel bag of coke (90% of the prisoners) can bring up the rear, and supply morphine when needed.

Arrest the Guy Already.

Haven’t you notice?

The same black guy is committing every crime in America.

Last night he rob a bank in Compton, sell coke in Miami, steal cows in Chicago and rape a New York Knicks cheerleader.

They show the mug shots on Fox News, and each time is the same guy!

Maybe they all look alike to Fox News…but if you ask me, just arrest this guy and we can all go back to Leave it to Beaver.

Puerto Rican Guy.