Why Relationships Fail - Articles - Zimbio

“The Independent Woman”: A Male Perspective by Olu Burrell

Sun, 10 Nov 2008 05:14:58 GMT

posted by Howardbison3

By: Olu Burrell

There is equally as much to shout as there is to whisper about an independent woman. She balances her checkbook, is well-educated, has strong values, is gainfully employed, is ambitious, drop-dead gorgeous, and even borrows from the newly-coined surname of the artist-formerly-known-as Beyonce: Fierce. She is to be heralded, applauded, and encouraged by all those who look upon her: those who are cloaked with envy and those who are clothed in awe. Men love women like this; but there is a tentative spirit in some of the admiration.
This isn’t a treatise about the fragility of the male ego. These words have much less to do with how a man can check his ego in dealing with his equal, and much more to do with the embrace of the feminine. In today’s day and age we are finding a disparaging gap between men and women who have attained success and stability in their respective professional lives. More women are assuming the role of breadwinner and head of household as the “single-mother” phenomenon continues to expand its borders. With the pressures of life: favoritism and sexism in the workplace, women are challenged to ascend to higher levels in order to attain equity. The concern that a lot of men share but oftentimes are remiss to actually disclose is the apprehension felt when encountering such a woman.
While she is adept in every situation that she has previously encountered, men want to know if the woman can be as vulnerable as she is strong. A good man is not looking for a chink in her armor, but simply wants to grasp at the clasp that holds it firmly in place. He wants her to be unobstructed by the prevalent belief that she can “do bad all by herself” and would instead like to counter with: “But who says you have to?” While gender roles have evolved over time, no doubt, there are still men who look for puddles to drape their coats over and allow the woman to walk unsullied…but only if she allows him to do so.

Forwomenonline.com

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Woman in Red Drives Men Crazy Study Says

Thu, 31 Oct 2008 18:33:00 GMT

posted by yaytos

If a woman wants to drive the men wild, she might want to dress in red.

Men rated a woman shown in photographs as more sexually attractive if she was wearing red clothing or if she was shown in an image framed by a red border rather than some other colour, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday.

The study led by psychology professor Andrew Elliot of the University of Rochester in Rochester, New York, seemed to confirm red as the colour of romance -- as so many Valentine's Day card makers and lipstick sellers have believed for years.

Although this "red alert" may be a product of human society associating red with love for eons, it also may arise from more primitive biological roots, Elliot said.

Noting the genetic similarity of humans to higher primates, he said scientists have shown that certain male primates are especially attracted to females of their species displaying red. For example, female baboons and chimpanzees show red colouring when nearing ovulation, sending a sexual signal that the males apparently find irresistible.

5 Ways To Survive A Relationhip Break Up

Tue, 22 Oct 2008 17:34:49 GMT

posted by jddean
The tough part of surviving a relationship break up is being able to keep some powerful emotions in check during the in initial storm. That is, when you hear those piercing words which basically tell you it's over, panic and desperation suddenly pervade one's thoughts.

The instinctive reaction is to want to convince your ex that they are doing the wrong thing; to give you another chance or you simply want to argue with them and act in a needy fashion. Look, it's perfectly natural to react in this way but if you plan to experience the magic of making up then experience them elsewhere.

In other words, avoid the confrontation with the person you plan on winning back in the future. The way you react or act in the first weeks of a break up will determine your chances of reconciliation. Take out your frustrations on your ex and your just convincing them they have made the right decision.

Emotions are high on both sides at this time and and bad decisions and things will be said and done. Let's take a look at five of the major things you want to avoid after a break up

How To Survive A Break Up

1. One of the first rules of surviving a relationship break up is to find some solid ground. Remember, things may seem hopeless to you now but the best thing you can do is walk away from it and get your thinking back on the "straight and narrow."

2. Don't contact your ex. Avoid the temptation to pick up the phone or send them a text or email. Many will do this acting out of impulse when they want to share something. It's natural. You always shared stuff with them when you were together but you're not now.

3. Don't run them down to their friends. If you run into friends of your ex and they ask how you are just say you're doing great or you're taking a trip or you're even dating again. Anything but being critical of your ex.

4. Avoid the temptation to show up at their favorite hang outs and then treat it as a co-incidence. People will see through this and if it happens regularly then it's becoming more than co-incidence.

5. Don't act needy. That is, avoid telling your ex you cannot live without them and your life means nothing without them. This is considered ugly behavior and gives you no positioning at all.

Want to know the shortcut to getting your ex back ? Discover the secrets thousands have used to win back their partners. Grab the most important book ever written on making up - The Magic Of Making Up today!

Yes. It's Gone.

Sat, 2 Nov 2008 16:28:00 GMT

posted by CJenn

My story begins three years ago, but really, there is a prologue. There was a guy I knew sophomore year. He was your typical Miami U of Ohio a-hole (and I say this not only because I hooked up with him, but because he just was). One day, he met a girl that he really liked. He fell hard and fast for this girl, which was funny because I really didn't think he was capable of any emotion outside of himself. Well, the girl- cute and nice as she was- decided to mess around with her ex-boyfriend. Things happened, stuff transpired... and the result was a marvelous little website with her picture and the guy's voice repeating "You are a slut... slut... slut" along with, I believe, recorded voicemails from the girl (who was understandably angry). I mention this because, as funny as it was, the whole thing was a pretty petty act of a-holeness at its best. I could never see my self stooping so low. Cut to yesterday afternoon around 1:30 and me literally stealing my ex-boyfriend's hat off of his dining room table. Pretty low and desperate, yes? So here's my story:
John and I met through his sister. I had left Miami U and while I was on break from Kent State, I didn't really have many friends, let alone a serious love interest. He didn't say a lot and that made me crazy about him. One night, we discussed my plans to move to Texas (which never happened). He was sweet, endearing, and clueless. It wasn't long before we couldn't get enough of each other and I spent my summer days by his side. Helping him when he didn't have a car, taking him out when he didn't have money. We went through it all together, side by side. We were on again and off again. We had tremendous fights and crazy make-up sex afterwards. After three years, we knew our hearts just couldn't take it and, after one more failed attempt, swore we would be best friends.

There were flings with others for me and I told him I wouldn't care if he met someone special, just as long as I was in his life still. Enter the Bitch. Or, and I don't use this term lightly, the Fucking Cunt Of a Girlfriend (or, FCOG), seen here in an artist's rendering. At first, she seemed sweet and he seemed to really like her. I won't get into details about her (because children are involved) but let's just say that she had some responsibilities that required being close to a small version of a person a lot. I pointed this out to him and warned him that she will always have this responsibility and he will have to man up or get out. "Don't lead on a single mother," I told him. And then came the phone call.

"I would appreciate you not hanging out with my boyfriend anymore because he isn't yours and I don't know what you are fucking saying to him, but get over it. Have fun!"- voicemail.
It might have been her voice, all slurred and irresponsible-drunk-motherish, it may have been the fact that she was TELLING me what to do, not asking. It also may have been the fact that she was CALLING ME. MY PHONE.
To say I snapped would be nice. I won't go into the gorey details, but I think it involved screaming, throwing my phone, my sister going off on John, and a whole lot of other stuff I'm not proud of.
Well, cut to the next day. I had to get a new phone because 1. this bitch was not going to call me again and 2. I didn't want to be on John's plan anymore. Which meant that I had to return my old phone to him. Of course between calmly purchasing a new one at Sprint and driving to his house to drop it off, I received a barrage of texts and insulting voicemails once again directed at me. Ooookay? Not from him either. From the FCOG.
I couldn't believe it, my best friend in the whole world had decided to throw everything out that we had for this.
"You're acting really childish." text from FCOG
I think that was my tipping point. And then, without thinking, I took it. The door was open, it was right there.
Do I condone stealing? NO. Would I suggest that anyone do that? HELL NO. I think it was a mistake and a crazy decision on my part but, you know what? I don't care. When he wants to be a man and not a pussy-whipped version of his former self, he knows the number.
Until then, I will be maintaining this blog as a record of the events to come. They are for entertainment value, but also I hope to teach other crazy girls like me a lesson. Do as I say, not as I do. Trust me, this whole thing should come with a disclaimer.
Until next time, mis amigas locas, see ya.

Get Wife Back - How To Win Back Your Wife

Sun, 10 Nov 2008 17:03:39 GMT

posted by jddean
If your wife has left or dumped you then don't despair, unless you haven't aggravated the situation then there are things you can do to put you on the path back to her door and into her arms.

How to get your wife back depends a lot on how you reacted in the initial break up. One of the best things you can do believe it or not is to simply walk away yourself. While this option is tough it has several benefits.

Think about this...there is a reason your wife decided to leave you. She obviously needs time on her own and will be hurting just as much as you. By continually wanting to contact her to try and present your case, ask for an explanation or throw yourself at her mercy begging for her to take you back is in most cases, going to prove detrimental.

Get Wife Back - What Not To Do

Unless you have done something which is irreversible in her eyes such as break her trust through cheating then there is hope.

Here are a few things you should consider:

- Tell her you agree with the break up and in fact were thinking about it for sometime yourself.

- Don't argue with her about the why of the break up. The last person she wants advice from at the moment is you and unless you can understand this, then you'll just be lengthening the gap between you and her in the relationship.

- Avoid calling her everyday. In fact, for the first few weeks, unless it's a real emergency then don't call, text message or email her.

- Resist the temptation to get answers from friends and family. The bottom line is, whether they help you or not it will get back to her and this is going to probably upset or aggravate her.

- And don't get all needy. In other words, letting her know you cannot live without her and you're going insane. This is considered needy and unattractive behavior.

By giving her space and time you will earn more respect in her eyes. In fact, by staying clear, then you are putting in motion something very powerful in relationships and in a nutshell, it's got to do with regaining your own posture and the first step to win your wife back.

Want to know the shortcut to getting your wife back ? Discover the secrets thousands have used to win back their partners. Grab the most important book ever written on making up - The Magic Of Making Up today!