rogue laughter - Articles - Zimbio

A Bear Joke or Bearly a Joke...

Wed, 23 Oct 2008 05:19:28 GMT

posted by BabyBoomerQueen

Joke-Shooting The Wrong Bear

Shooting the Wrong Bear

A guy, out hunting in Alaska, accidentally shoots a polar bear. Realizing his mistake, he reports the incident to the local ranger.

A week later, he gets a letter in the mail, telling him that he is being taken to court by the park service. Arriving at court, he explains to the judge what happened, and the judge comes to a decision.

“As you didn’t kill this protected species intentionally, I don’t intend to send you to prison”, the judge says. “However, it is still a serious error on your part, and I intend to deal with you by way of a fine, based upon the body weight of the animal”.

“For every one pound of body weight, you will be fined $10”. Consulting his records, the judge finds the weight of the bear, as recorded by the park services, and calls for a calculator. After a minute of two, he calls the hunter to the bench, and gives his judgement; a fine of $9,000.

The representative of the park services jumps to his feet, and approaches the judge. “Your Honour”, he says, “With the greatest respect, I believe you’ve made a mistake in your calculations”.

“We weighed the animal shortly after it was shot, and it weighed a total of 1000 pounds”. “Surely, based on that measurement, the fine should be $10,000”.

The judge looks at the ranger, and says, “I made a calculation, taking into consideration, the animals’ weight, minus its two front paws”. Looking rather confused, the ranger asks, “but why did you not include the front paws in your calculation?”

“Because”, the judge replies, “Every American has the right to bear arms!”

Here are some interesting books, the 2009 Atlas and Angel Cards…

How to reply to a rejection letter.

Tue, 22 Oct 2008 18:04:47 GMT

posted by edcetera

If you are trying to get a new job and you are fed up of receiving rejection letters in return for your applications, then try sending this reply to your next rejection:

Dear <Interviewer's name>,

Thank you for your letter of <date>.  After very careful consideration,
I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer
me the position of <job title> in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising
field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my
needs at this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of
<job title> in your department this coming Monday.  I look forward
to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

<Your name>.

The Allotment.

Thu, 3 Oct 2008 22:26:46 GMT

posted by edcetera

An old man lived alone in Swansea . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but he was feeling his age and it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him with the allotment, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty unhappy, as it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up my allotment. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Dad.

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad, Don’t dig up that allotment. That’s where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie.

At 5 a.m. the next morning, detectives and Police officers arrived and dug up the entire allotment without finding any bodies. They apologised to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. I love you, Vinnie.

Welcome to our wikizine called "rogue laughter"

Tue, 5 Dec 2007 17:38:36 GMT

posted by slashneon
Wikizines are interactive magazines that anyone can create or edit - and this one is called "rogue laughter". Here you can find fresh voices and respond in real time. Some members write articles about recent news and trends related to the wikizine's topic, others recount relevant personal stories or share their favorite pictures and video clips. Got an interesting idea or story to share with other members of this wikizine? Well, then put on your journalist's cap and add your own article!

Caught Speeding

Wed, 11 Sep 2008 21:31:31 GMT

posted by edcetera

An elderly lady gets pulled over for speeding. The Police officer gets out of his car and approaches her window.

She winds down her window, “Is there a problem, Officer?”

“Yes, ma’am, you were exceeding the speed limit.”

“Oh, I see.” she replies dismayed.

“Can I see your license please?” asks the officer.

She replies “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”

“Don’t have one?” he queries, sounding a little surprised.

The woman continues, “Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.”

“I see…Can I see your vehicle registration document please.”

“I can’t do that.” she replies.

“And why not?” he asks.

“Because I stole this car.” she replies.

“Stole it? How exactly did you do that.”

“Well I killed and hacked up the owner, then I took his keys and stole the car.”

“You what?!”

“His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.”

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. The senior officer slowly cautiously approaches the car.

“Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!” he orders.

The woman immediately steps out of her car, “Is there a problem sir?”

“One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”

“Murdered the owner!” she gasped.

“Yes, now could you please open the boot of your car.”

The woman opens the bootlid, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

“Is this your car, ma’am?”

“Yes, of course. Do you want to see my registration document?”

The senior officer is quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out her purse. She opens it, pulls out her licence and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

“Thank you madam, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.”

“I bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.” chuckled the woman.