The Conspiracy Theory That Beyoncé Faked Her Pregnancy Is Even More Lame Post-Twins
Hey haters, the Illuminati called, and they want you to sit down.
If you've been in formation, you've probably heard the wacko conspiracy theory that Beyoncé faked her first pregnancy. This theory was widely circulated around the time the singer was expecting her first child, Blue Ivy, in 2011.
It goes a little something like this:
Super sneak Beyoncé was never truly pregnant with Blue Ivy. Instead, she commissioned a surrogate to bring her daughter to term. How did she pull off this challenging feat, you ask? Well, every day she rolled out of her fabulous downy bed, took a piping hot shower with what we can only assume was lemonade-infused shampoo, skimmed social media to absorb her daily dose of worship, and... strapped a prosthetic stomach to her torso. This performance convinced us all, for a time. Alas, she was "found out" when her belly "deflated" as she was taking a seat for an appearance on an Australian talk show in the fall of 2011. You'd think a woman worth roughly $1.16 billion could afford a quality bump, so weird.
A number of rando celebs like Geordie Shore's Marnie Simpson also threw in their totally worthless two cents, asserting Yoncé had faked her pregnancy for nine months. Nine months.
And why? All so that she wouldn't gain baby weight.
Never did these so-called theorists pause to ask themselves why one of the world's most successful stars would move heaven and earth to assume an incredibly exhausting, often unpleasant experience... all for the sake of staving off a few pounds.
Flash forward to 2016, when Beyoncé once again moved heaven and earth, but this time in order to prove she was absolutely, without a doubt, 100 percent pregnant. It was a thing she shouldn't have felt compelled to prove, but we're cool with it because it resulted in the most epic pregnancy photo shoot of all time.
Even Blue Ivy got in on the action:
Now, Beyoncé has given birth to twins, a boy and a girl who were reportedly born premature and were briefly hospitalized following their delivery, but are now home and doing fine. Multiple witnesses confirmed the singer was in the hospital, physically pregnant, and definitely in the throes of delivery on the day the twins were born.
Once and for all: Yes, friends, Beyoncé was definitely pregnant with all three of her children. All that speculation was for naught. The witnesses know it, I know it, and deep down, you know it as well. Now it's time to put this sad excuse for a theory in the past.
Perhaps the worst part of this insane conjecture is that Beyoncé is far from the first star accused of faking it. In 2007, Jennifer Lopez was accused of falsifying her pregnancy with twins Max and Emme. The same happened to Angelia Jolie, whose lack of weight gain during her own pregnancy had critics questioning its legitimacy.
There's more than one problem with this sort of accusation, not least of which that it's incredibly tacky.
It's insulting to Beyoncé and all kinds of women who go through the very difficult process of MAKING A HUMAN inside their bodies for nine months. Even if these ladies had brought in outside help, it shouldn't matter if women have the help of surrogates to grow their families. They have every right to keep that fact behind closed doors. It's hard enough being a parent, let alone watching the world point fingers at the most intimate moments of your pregnancy.
Let's leave this theory — and all the others like it — in the trash where they belong.