Here's Why Everyone On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst

The popular '90s sitcom TOTALLY doesn't hold up.

Every Character On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst
Artwork for Zimbio by Rafael Hidalgo

Editor’s Note: This month, Zimbio editors are looking back, and reflecting on how influential films, TV shows, and celebrities changed us — and the impact they've had on our lives and pop culture...

I'll be there for you… not.

Sure, Friends was a pop-culture powerhouse in the '90s and early '00s, but a lot has changed since the sitcom went off air. Thanks to syndication and Netflix, most of us have re-watched this comedy countless times and what sticks out most to me is just how bad Friends truly is. The show does not hold up. What I once considered to be funny now seems like a terrible excuse for "jokes." Ripe with stale one-liners, cringe-inducing stereotypes, and one-dimensional characters, there’s nothing characteristically great about Friends

Let's take a closer look, shall we? Since each individual character comes with their own, unique set of problematic behavior, I've assigned each one their own section. This way, we can more fully analyze why the Central Perk gang is so damn terrible. You can read my list of grievances for Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey below.

Rachel "Can't Make A Trifle To Save Her Life" Green

Every Character On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst

Biggest offenses:
1. She feels mortified when Phoebe runs like an elephant.
2. She convinces Bonnie, who is dating Ross at the time, to go bald. Oh, and Rachel is the one who ends up shaving Bonnie's head.
3. She only wants Ross when she can't have him. Apart from Bonnie, Julie, and Mona, the person who really gets hurt in this mess is poor Emily.
4. When she leaves a straightening iron on and burns down Phoebe's apartment.
5. When she steals Monica's thunder during Chandler and Monica's engagement party.
6. She hires a dude named Tag because he's hot and wants to date him. She also never bothers to learn his last name.
7. She loses Ross's pet monkey, Marcel, so she can watch the end of a TV episode.

Ross "We Were On A Break" Geller

Every Character On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst

Biggest offenses:
 He's compulsively jealous of Rachel's relationship with Mark and becomes increasingly possessive of her, thus jeopardizing her career.
2. He flips out when his co-worker accidentally eats his sandwich.
3. He refuses to annul his marriage to Rachel and they eventually have to get a divorce.
4. He dates one of his students and then freaks out when she acts like a normal 21 year old.
5. He calls Emily "Rachel" at the alter because he's an insufferable turd monster.
6. He thinks he understands the power of "unagi" but the only thing he's mastered in life is getting divorced.
7. He thinks men shouldn't be nannies because it threatens their masculinity.

Monica "Can I Broom Your Face?" Geller

Every Character On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst

Biggest offenses:
She's a control freak who takes the joy out of almost everything.
2. She always has to be right, even when she's wrong.
3. Everything needs to be "Monica clean" at all times.
4. She wears a turkey on her head, thus destroying Thanksgiving for all of us.
5. Her abrasive massages could send someone into a coma.
6. When Phoebe asks Monica to be her wedding planner, Monica turns into an uppity Darth Vader.
7. She falsely accuses her maid of stealing her bra and jeans.

Chandler "Could I Be Anymore Annoying?" Bing

Every Character On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst

Biggest offenses:
Rather than being understanding of his father's transition from Charles Bing to Helen Handbasket, Chandler holds onto his resentment and makes cheap jokes about Helen's sexuality.
2. He goes behind Joey's back and hooks up with Kathy (who is dating Joey at the time).
3. He blames everything on Janice and her high-pitched voice, when he's a walking dumpster fire himself.
4. After accidentally telling a kid he's adopted, Chandler tries to bribe the kid with money in exchange for his silence.
5. He steals a bunch of cheesecakes from Mama's Little Bakery.
6. He falls asleep during Joey's big movie premiere because, apparently, the movie is too boring.
7. He refers to his third nipple as a "nubbin."

Phoebe "Can't Sing To Save Her Life" Buffay

Every Character On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst

Biggest offenses:
She brings "Smelly Cat" into the world and forces everyone to listen to her atrocious voice. Where's Simon Cowell when you need him?
2. When Ross was a kid, he was mugged and beaten up for being nerdy and writing his own comic-book. Turns out, Phoebe is the scoundrel who hurt Ross.
3. She fronts like she has a higher moral compass, but ends up decorating her entire apartment with things from Pottery Barn.
4. She tries to teach Joey how to play the guitar with terms like "Bear Claw, The Old Lady, and Turkey Leg." When Joey rejects these terms, Phoebe goes ballistic.
5. She stabs a cop.
6. She holds grudges that happen in her dreams.
7. She donates money to a children's charity and then takes the money back so she can spend it on her wedding.

Joey "How You Doin'?" Tribbiani

Every Character On 'Friends' Is The Absolute Worst

Biggest offenses:
He's a creepy womanizer.
2. He's a terrible actor.
3. He doesn't share food.
4. He's been mooching off Chandler for years and has "borrowed" a boatload of cash from his best bud.
5. In a life or death situation, he saves a sandwich over his friend.
6. While attempting to learn French, Joey butchers the language on a whole new level. The man can barely speak English to save his life.
7. He offers nothing to women, men, or the world in general.

Which Friends character do you dislike the most? Let us know in the comments.

I'm the TV Editor at Zimbio. My interests include books, pop culture, and Colin Firth.