'Dexter' Recap: The Family That Kills Together

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Yeesh. Therapy sessions between Dexter and Debra Morgan are as frustratingly futile as the ones between Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga over on RHONJ, only the Housewives aren’t nearly as hopped up on pills and they certainly don’t curse as much. Lucky for D&D, their relationship was saved — for now — when they were promptly given a life-or-death mission to focus their attention away from their pressing familial issues: the kidnapping of Dr. Evelyn Vogel.

Though Vogel was quickly retrieved, witnessing firsthand the injustice of what was being done to her  — the injustice of what Yates had done to countless other women — was oddly cathartic for Deb. For the very first time, she saw value in what Dexter was doing. She saw that waiting for Miami Metro to do things by the books would only have gotten Vogel killed. She saw the rotting female corpses in Yates' yard, and wanted to f**king do something about it. 

Was Deb searching for a reason to be okay with Dexter's "hobby"? Undoubtedly. As she said, she can't exist without Dexter. So in a way, ending the episode with Dexter and his "family" — which now includes Vogel — enjoying a midnight, body-dump boat ride together was really quite sad. The scene was beautiful and serene, and it was a wonderful moment for Dexter, but being on that boat signaled a resignation for Deb. She has officially chosen her family over her own values, and there's no going back. 

There's also an undeniable feeling of "calm before the storm" that rises up as the three of them are floating peacefully out to sea. The Brain Surgeon is dead and the family is back together, but there are still seven more episodes left in the season, and a certain crazy ex-girlfriend with a bone to pick with Deb who remains unaccounted for. The storm is definitely coming, but which Morgan sibling gets caught in the flood still remains unclear. 

But let's rewind, as I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. The episode began on Vogel's couch after the "accident," and Dexter wasn’t too understanding re: the whole trying to commit double-suicide thing. He was all combative and ornery, while Deb (finally) showed signs of clarity and actual remorse. (Hi, lucid Deb! Welcome to Season 8!) Dex was also still angry with Vogel for studying him like a lab rat, so the early scenes in “This Little Piggy” showed us a man who was ready to cut ties with the two women who have bogarted all of his mental energy so far this season.

Enter (again) AJ Yates, who nearly cut one of those ties (and a little piggy!) for Dexter when he jumped through Vogel’s window and snatched her. I’d be remiss if I did not mention the fact that he did so while Vogel was playing “Make Your Own Kind of Music” on her record player. If you recall, the same song was playing when Yates had Sussman kill someone for him a few weeks back, in “Every Silver Lining.” The song is also the title of this season’s upcoming 9th episode.

I’d be okay with all of this — the song likely has something to do with Vogel’s unorthodox treatment sessions, which could prove to be interesting — if "MYOKOM" wasn’t already so heavily associated with the Desmond Hume character from Lost. It’s decently rare nowadays for a TV character to have a signature song — think GOB’s “The Final Countdown” on Arrested Development — and it’s especially rare for a song to have the kind of powerful lasting impact that “Make Your Own Kind of Music” had on Lost fans. It was used so damn well that the song is forever ingrained in the collective Lost fan’s psyche as an important part of Hume’s — arguably the most compelling character on the show — mythology. It's Desmond's Song. 

Basically, taking this song and forcing us to associate it with a much different character on a much different show is distracting, to say the least. And since I like Vogel and her ultra-intriguing story arc, I’m disappointed whenever I’m plucked from Miami Beach and thrown right back into the chaos that was that awful island and that often infuriating show. Do you see what you made me do, Dexter? I’m thinking about Lost, now. Couldn’t Vogel torture her psychopaths while listening to something from ABBA?

Anyway, let’s move on, because the Xanax is kicking in. The woman that Dexter rescued from Yates’ torture dungeon survived, and, thanks to her, Miami Metro had taken up residence at Yates’ house and unearthed several rotted corpses. Dex and Deb used this distraction as an opportunity to look inside the house, where they quickly located Yates’ workbook — which contained the addresses of several residences where he could be hiding Vogel.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to pore through all of them, since Vogel managed to retrieve a cell phone and call Dexter while she was being mentally and (almost) physically tortured by her former patient. Deb’s hot boss Sean Patrick Flanery quickly traced the call — without asking any questions, which cannot possibly last — and so the killer sibs got there just in time to save Vogel and all of her phalanges. It was a close call, as the distant third female influence in Dexter’s life, Jamie, forced him to attend an awkward double date with that neighbor lady while Vogel’s time was ticking away. Ugh. Go away, Jamie.

Dexter pulled himself off of Jamie’s hook when he promised to take said neighbor, Cassie, out on a solo date, which will likely be Cassie’s date with death once Hannah McKay catches wind of the situation. (And, since she’s slated to show up next week, she most definitely will.) After all was said and done — well, after Yates was impaled by a curtain rod — Dexter and Vogel breathed a sigh of relief when Deb didn’t flip out and start shooting people or snorting lines of cocaine. “The family that kills together…” she said with a hint of a smile. Dexter and Debra Morgan, putting the “FUN” in family dysfunction since 2006.

Meanwhile in Miami Metro happenings, Detective/Kinda-Maybe-Sorta-Sergeant Quinn is looking more and more like dead meat as the weeks go on. His pending promotion has him working extra hard on their latest case, which — coupled with his dangerous attachment to Deb — has me thinking that Quinn is headed towards a potentially dangerous run-in with Dexter. Because you know Dex will want this privileged jerk on his table just as badly as Quinn wants him behind bars. And now that Yates is dead and gone, the Hamilton kid should be this season’s next target.

We met Shady McSuspicious Hamilton at his father’s mansion, when said father was admitting to fornication with Norma Rivera on the day of her murder. But he also had video proof that she had left his place alone and alive — as well as a creepy, sulking, pink-polo-wearing son hovering in the background. So Pa Hamilton was crossed off the suspect list pretty quickly. (For a more accurate depiction of his son, Guilty McMurderer, click here.)

Quinn’s spidey senses immediately began tingling, and so did Dexter’s once the kid approached him with some RIDICULOUSLY SUBTLE questions about Norma’s murder. Quinn went after him first, and actually obtained a key witness that could have placed the kid behind bars. However, being Richie Rich has its perks — the witness recanted after a likely payoff from the Hamilton family. Matthews told Quinn to leave it alone and move on, which definitely means that Quinn is about to do the exact opposite.

Sigh. Here comes the boring part. Over in C-Plot Land, Masuka was really psyched that Becky from Friday Night Lights was his daughter until Quinn incepted the idea that she might just be after his money. (Masuka has money?) If we’ve learned anything from Inception besides the fact that people hate ambiguous endings and that foghorns make everything sound cool, it’s that incepted ideas grow like weeds until they’ve taken over the entire damn garden. So now Deb is investigating the young spawn of Masuka, which might be a good idea given her burrito-grifting tendencies. A veggie burrito with cheese for breakfast? Really?

Dexter By The Numbers
Deb’s Weekly F-Bomb Count: 12
Cases Solved by the Miami Metro Homicide Department: 0

What did you think of tonight's Dexter? Is Quinn headed towards danger? Will the Morgan family ever find peace? Is Masuka's daughter guilty? Do you care? Let us know in the comments!
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