Rihanna and Chris Brown spending time together with family on the beach in Barbados. The couple swam in the ocean, rode some jet skis and even rode on some inner-tubes. (FlynetPictures.com)more pics »Though she's been understandably guarded about her personal life in the past, Rihanna laid everything out on the table in her lengthy interview for Oprah's Next Chapter, which aired Sunday evening. The 24-year-old performer even admitted that she still loves her abusive ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, although she did not confirm tabloid reports that the two are still seeing each other in secret.
"We love each other and we probably always will, and that's not anything that we're going to try to change," Rihanna told Oprah. She confessed that it's hard to see him: "It's awkward because I still love him. My stomach drops and I have to maintain this poker face and not let it get to the outer part of me. I have to maintain that and suppress it."
Earlier this summer, the pair reunited professionally for a highly controversial remix of her song "Birthday Cake." Rihanna says she understands why some fans were confused by her closeness to her former attacker.
"I can't tell people how to feel about it. They're entitled to feel angry because it wasn't a good thing that happened," Rihanna explained. "But I have forgiven him." I think he was the love of my life," Rihanna confessed. "He was my first love and I see that he loved me the same way. I truly love him. The main thing for me is he's at peace. I'm not at peace if he's not happy or he's still lonely. I care. It actually matters that he finds that peace."
Brown's longtime girlfriend Karrueche Tran may or may not have responded to Rihanna's admissions:
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